Best Friend hooking up with Brother?

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okay. So I found out my best friend and my brother had sex. It really made me mad. She lied to me at first and so did my brother but then she finally admitted she had sex with him. I honestly think its disgusting and rude. My friend has a boyfriend of 11 months and my brother just started dating this girl. So they both cheated and they haven't talked since it happened. I'm not talking to her right now and i have every intention of keeping that way. She said that I'm overreacting. Do you think i am? I think I have a reason to be mad. but am I making this bigger than what it is? It really hurt me.

What Rad said.

It's their business not yours. Stay out of shit that doesn't concern you and don't overreact to shit that does.

I have to agree with Rad and OldFolks on this. This is between your brother and your bestfriend. If they can handle what happened between them and move on than truthfully it's none of your business.

I'm gonna take the opposite stance. Although it IS their personal business, YOU have a 100% legitimate reason for not wanting to engage in conversation or pursuing a relationship with your friend. Your brother is family, not much you can do there, but you CAN choose your friends. Just because someone does something that they can live with and be 100% satisfied with, does not mean you have to live in that reality. For example: My ex broke up with me for religious reasons. Later on, through conversation it was discussed that she had had sex with numerous guys, who for lack of a better phrase, were much less devout in religion than I/we are. So, now after having been hurt by these guys that used her, she decided that I was the appropriate man for her and she wants me back. I refuse to date her again simply because of the numerous partners she had after me. Now I'm not judging her as a "slut"/"whore" as those two words are not in my vocabulary. However, just because she can live with her decisions, does not mean I have to, too. Therefore, we shall remain platonic.

Everyone says that the OP overreacted. I disagree. My story is relevant in the fact that even though what people do is their own business, that doesn't mean you have to like their decisions. Far too often, many people say, "It's my life, I do what I want...deal with it!" I was only pointing out that NO, in fact I don't have to deal with it; and neither does the OP. How the OP reacted to hearing about the sexual acts that went on between her friend and her brother is in no way overreacting. Why? Because it's her choice to act how she wants, when she comes up to a situation like the one she is currently in. In other words, her reaction is perfectly fine, and she's not overreacting. and about the terms: "whore/slut" is what people tend to call girls with healthy sexual appetites. I was only stating that my decision to not date her was not based on the idea that most people would call her a "whore/slut" for said appetite. edit: No I wouldn't cut off my friends for having sex, as long as it wasn't a moral issue. If a relative was having sex, no. If the relative was immoral about it, then possibly. I don't strongly dislike many things, but immoral acts such as cheating, I borderline hate. I'm not perfect nor would I condemn them as being dreadful human beings...but I can make a conscious choice to disassociate from them.

I think this argument may come from a little ambiguity due to the relationship of the brother in the matter. As the OP said, both parties cheated on someone they were dating, which could be the primary reason that they reacted the way they did. It seems to me that people are saying the OP overreacted because they perceive the reaction as being a result of the participation of the brother.

To the OP: did you react the way you did primarily because of the cheating or the fact that it dealt with your brother?

Perhaps she's upset because they lied to her about it? If that is the case, then I would've reacted the same way. I can't deal with liars.Cider's right though. Her post is a bit ambiguous and I confuse easily.

i can easily see Cider and Virtual's points, if the OP is reacting to the fact that the participants were cheating on their partners then no she isnt overreacting, cheating is a terrible thing to do so its not that farfetched that one would be angry at a friend or family member for doing it, not to mention if your best friend and your sibling did it TOGETHER,from her post though it would seem as if a portion of her problem with it is the fact that her best friend had sex with her brother but i wouldnt be surprised if the cheating aspect of it played a decent sized part itself

im just saying i can see where she might be hurt, if a friend of mine or a sibling cheated on someone i know id be pretty disappointed

I'd be 'effing livid if my best friend had sex with a family member. That's hurtful, especially since it's not like they were in a meaningful relationship with each other, it could appear that your friend is using your brother for sex, or the opposite way round. It causes a huge lack of trust.

I suppose it depends on the personality of the best friend/brother, but a best friend should respect that he's your brother, and "off-limits" until they can prove that it's a good idea. Likewise, the brother should respect your relationship with you best friend, and she should be "off-limits" unless he can convince you otherwise.

It's a respect thing. Fixing up a family member with a best friend is a conscious choice. Having your best friend go behind your back and sleep with your family member is disrespectful to most people. There are 3 billion other people out there to choose from.