Note: I apologize upfront for maybe this post might be a little long, but I think it would be worth it in the end for me to try.How do you make someone forget about someone else they are with to be with you? I keep thinking I wouldn't want someone trying to "steal" my bf, but he's already cheating on her with another woman to try and get away from her, yet she refuses to let him leave.Just when I was about to give up after hitting dead end after dead end, and finally accept that I would be alone for a while, I meet this amazing guy. The problem? He's in an extremely toxic relationship, and has a fling on the side. Now, before people judge him, please let me explain. He was honest from the start, that he already had a girlfriend, and a fling to boot, but he still wanted to get to know me. He explained his situation very well to me. I was proud of him for being honest to begin with. 95% of the men that I first meet lie about being in a relationship with someone just so they think they can have me for the night...but this guy, he was genuine...that's what I already like about him. So I know, if he were to ever go out with me he would tell people he had a girlfriend. He did not try to make a move on me at all, but we have long conversations, getting to know each other...as friends for now.He told me he has been extremely depressed in his current relationship, that he's only with her because he doesn't want to come home to no one, they are used to each other, he wants someone to hang out with (basically afraid to die alone)...however, she doesn't satisfy him that's why he has this fling with someone else, too, NOT me, though. We are just friends for now and have NOT hooked up.His girlfriend said that if he ever cheated on her, she would leave him. When he heard that, he took the opportunity to cheat, but those were just words of hers and she refuses to let him leave, so she allows him to have this fling...basically a psycho, clingy girlfriend who doesn't know what's good for her.Any advice on how to help him get through this? He's extremely depressed and has even said that he doesn't like that he makes that other girl the other woman but his girlfriend won't allow him to leave her no matter what he does to her. Obviously this other woman doesn't have respect for herself either knowing he has a girlfriend. I refuse to hook up with him knowing he has a girlfriend AND a fling already.He told me he wishes he could be with someone like me, and I want him to hang out with me. I want to make him happy and I think he would make me happy. I just believe that I would, something tells me that I would. I want to make him forget about his girl and fling and have the courage to finally leave her for good because she is depressing him, he is not happy in that relationship. I think he needs a push from someone to help him finally get out.I think it's just as bad to be in an unhappy relationship which is not good for you. I know he means well, but like he said, he can't leave no matter what he does, but if he finds the right person to help him which I think would be me, it could work.Any words of wisdom on how to go about this? Have you been in a situation where someone was in a toxic relationship but they couldn't get out and you helped them finally break up, but it was for better?
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Toxic relationships, when is it right to meddle?
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I'm afraid I'm not very impressed with him. He may seem disarmingly frank, but "his girlfriend won't allow him to leave her" doesn't seem consistent with "he's only with her because he doesn't want to come home to no one". The first suggests psychological domination, while the second implies it's his own decision. Neither impresses.My advice would be not to meddle, but to turn around smartly and walk rapidly in the opposite direction.
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Why do you use so many words to say "This guys a real fucking douche bag?
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I just don't have your skill with words, Chance!
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Your words may say it correctly, but mine, aha! MINE say it with flair! and even a drunk irish man can understand what I meant!Where the fuck is bobbo anyways? or would that be a stoned irishman?Bobbos too intelligent for an example anyways, whos the biggest fucking idiot to ever be on these boards?got it!With my words even fucking cockrocker can understand what was meant! or purplestain
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lol funniest human being alive you are
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Haha I don't think he's a douche bag. It's a big plus that he told the truth from the beginning and I do think he's genuine with his words. He's just in a bad situation but not a bad guy. Hell, he even looked into restraining orders if he should ever finally man up and break up with his gf that's how controlling she is.I think it would be good for him to get out of that and find someone who has practically little to none drama, aka me.But I just don't know how to go about it.
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I gotta say I think you are deluding yourself a bit with this... this man is cheating on his girlfriend. He is OPENLY cheating on his girlfriend. If he was cheating on you and told you that he was, does that make it okay?Do you really think you could trust him?
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So very true.
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Originally Posted By: IneligibleMy advice would be not to meddle, but to turn around smartly and walk rapidly in the opposite direction. VERY RAPIDLY!