Ok, you need to relax...ALOT. Pap smears are painful, but definitely not unbearable. I'm 31 and my first pap, I cried through the entire procedure and for about an hour after I left.
I think you're experience is so painful because you are too tense. Even if you think you're not, you're most likely tensing your muscles and making your vagina even tighter. I've only ever experienced the metal speculums, but I do know they make a slightly smaller size and they should always put lubrication on it. I suggest asking the doctor to use the smaller size. When your legs are in the stirrups, relax them way far out to the sides and just generally try to relax all of your girly muscles. The swab is the worst part, but it only lasts about a minute.
I hate to say it like this, but once you have sex, you kind of get used to things being shoved in your vagina. lol So it makes the pap a little more tolerable. :grin: