I'm very confused about the relationship that I have with a very close female friend. We only met at the start of the summer but we never really talked to each other untill one night we were both online and we began chatting. I had always liked her even though I didn't know her too well at the time, so in the middle of our conversation I asked her out. Her answer was very confusing, she said "for now... no". The day after we were hanging out in a group and things seemed very awkward. I wanted to talk to her alone but it would have seemed very bad if the two of us just walked off together. We only talked online and she explained her answer to me. She has a "boyfriend" who she met online and she has never met in person(she has seen him and talked to him on the phone). Also, apparently another friend of ours liked me. She said that she might have gone out with me if things weren't so complicated, but we talked a lot now both online and on the phone that we became closer friends. Eventually one day I invited her to my house. For me this is a big thing, I have trouble with getting close to people and in my life I have only invited three people back to my house, two of them were neighbours at the time and she was the third. While we were at my house she let me copy some of her music and we talked. For some reason we started tickling each other and we ended up rolling around on the floor torturing each other.About a week later I invited her back to my house again, but this time we were both sitting on the couch talking and we again got caught in a tickling fest. We were both rolling around on the floor, her wearing a long skirt did not help the situation. We played a game where I had to grab her nose (yes, that baby game) and as her hands were covering her face her skirt kept sliding up very high. Not wanting to lose the game, neither of us did anything about it untill it was about to go just too far. Her top was also sliding up a bit and I had an idea, I tried to distract her by blowing on her stomach. We continued this for a good 30 minutes untill my sister walked in on us and we decided that we should stop. Nothing really happened between us but it felt weird getting so close to someone like that.After a few days she was at my house again and we were just sitting on my couch, the lights were off and the fire was on. We weren't doing anything, just sitting there, cuddling. Although I enjoyed it a lot, I never thought that she would be thinking of it as anything more than a friendship thing, but then she started crying. Totally bewildered by this, I asked why, and she said that she was just feeling guilty. I could understand this because she has never been able to do anything like that with her boyfriend, and possibley because she was betraying her friend that liked me. Either way, it was very horrible for me as I hope that I will never be in any way responsible for her being upset. She went to the bathroom to clean up and I just turned on the lights and sat there wondering if I was getting too close to her. We never discussed it after that.A few days later we were cuddling again on the couch inher house. Over the following weeks we both suggested that we should stop being so physical with each other but we always ended up in the same situation. Everytime we were together I noticed my hands holding different parts of her body, untill eventually my finger was stroking her stomach just under the waist line on her skirt. I would just feel the lining of her underwear. On Halloween I was at her house and we were lying on her sofa, me lying behind her. I was running my hand along her back under her shirt when I reached her bra strap. I suggested that I just try to unhook it with only one hand, and she agreed. So I tried, and with a bit of effort and skill, I got it. I let go of the straps and continued to run my hand along her bear back. I just left my arm at her side and put my face close to hers and we both lay there for a while. We then started to hug and hold each other a lot for no actual reason except to hold each other. Every once in a while she would kiss me on the cheek. One day, about four or five weeks ago we were in her house and we were just hugging when her very very strict mother who doesn't want her daughters dating till they're eighteen came in and saw us. Now, it was a very innocent hug but she looked at me with a look that oddly resembled hatred. She left the room and the two of us just went silent. We both knew that she was going to get a serious talk for this as soon as I left. When I did leave her mom apparently didn't mention it untill a few days later. Since then we have done nothing together. We talk, we go out, but she refuses to be any where alone with me. Every where we go there seems to be a chaperon. This sudden behaviour was very unexpected and it has actually caused me to suffer from depression.If anyone has any advice or can help me in any way with this, please tell me. I feel like I've lost my closest friend.
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Help Me!!
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Just sounds like innocent groping and experimentation with a budding relationship. The parents sound very "staid" and uptight but , on the other hand, what are your ages? That may ply into their thinking. Show her and her parents a modicum of respect and deal with their wishes, if you want to continue with this relationship. They will come around and trust will follow. You seem a very intelligent, thoughtful and caring person. Give it a chance and the world is yours. Good luck!
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Well I'm 17 and she is 16 so personally I don't really believe that there is an age problem. I haven't been to her house since so I have had no contact with her parents at all. My biggest concern about it all is how after going so far and getting so close to each other, she just stopped.
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You care for her? Then pursue the matter. You're at the age of young adulthood and should be able to confront the parents ,on an intellible level. Go to her house. Are you afraid of the big bad wolf? Just because she hasn't contacted you or has "stopped" doesn't mean she doesn't care for you. Obviously, her parents are putting a bug, in her ear. 1) Deal with your lady first and treat her as such. 2) Decide on a plan of action i.e. your future together (you're at an age when it's time to consider your options) and how to deal with the parents. Their intentions maybe noble but so are yours. It's a push and pull situation and how you deal with it will determine the outcome.3) You are the man! Take the bull by the horns and run with it.4}Be careful, confident and show all concerned of your worthiness. You will be tested throughout your life, not just in high school.5) Good luck dude. I wish you the best!
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ok, thought about your advice, decided to follow it. Yesterday I saw her online and I said hi... she ignored me.Well, not completely, but she might as well have said nothing. I started by saying hi, she said hi back, then I said how are you? She said fine. I waited a few minutes, looked at a few websites and I found one that had something that I knew she would like. I sent her a message telling her about it, and she just set her status to Busy. I don't know why but that just annoyed me so much. I stayed online for hours, doing normal internet stuff, and I noticed that her status changed back to normal, yet she still said nothing. We were both online for quite a while after that but she still never responded. She just pissed me off so much!!! (irrational anger, very common with me recently)Well, today I went online and I noticed that she was too. But when I saw her name on the screen, I just got angry again. After a while she sent me a message asking me about her MSN display picture, I said it was fine. Again, she never replied. I feel like she is trying to ignore me and considering how close we seemed just a few months ago it has become extremely upsetting. For some reason I just feel like shouting at her! Asking her why she has been doing this and why she makes me feel like crap all the time.
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go ask her
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I feel really bad for you dude but you got to just confront her and tell her how you feel about whats going on
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Hello all, just a little update for all of you hanging on the edge of your seats.
Well, I would love to take all of your advice but I'm having two problems: 1 - I'm not a confrontational kinda guy, and 2 - she is having a bit of a family problem at the moment so I'm not going to go in full force.
Anyway, we were both at a small party on New Years but through out the whole night we barely said a few words to each other. After the countdown we hugged (as did everyone in the room) and I gave her a quick hug when I left but apart from a question I asked her, nothing. She spent the rest of the night sitting between a close guy friend of hers and a wall.
Now, before I continue I must talk about this guy friend. He is a friend of mine, we've known each other for a few years now, but he met her about a month before me. They were very good friends for a while but then they got into an argument. He liked her and told her and she turned him down, but then he kept at it (I'm not sure about this, she didn't tell me much about it) but eventually they got mad at each other and stopped talking for a while. During this period of time is when I told her how I felt, hence all of the attention I got. But I didn't know about the other guy at the time.
So, now they're good friends again and they are always hanging out together. I don't believe that she is "with" him because she told me that she wasn't interested in him in that way. About a week ago we were both at a friends birthday party and we didn't talk to each other at all. The only time we talked directly to each other was when we were going home and a group of us were having a conversation and we had opposite views. But apart from that, she just left.
We have talked online a bit, mostly about nothing really, I seem to find myself straining to keep the conversation going. I mentioned how I missed how close we once were and how I wished her mom hadn't caught us. She said that she didn't regret it and then asked me to not talk about it.
So, anyway, I've got a wonderful feeling of rejection, loneliness and bitter hatred (extreme but kinda true). I know that I should either just confront her or leave her. But its just that at times she seems cold, she barely talks to me apart from the bare minimum, but then I remember the times when we were so close, sometimes I can still feel the warmth of her skin on mine.
I miss her so much, its like we were going out and and then she dumped me harshly, but we never went out, we were just close friends. I'm just so confused at the moment, and from reading all of this I seem pathetic as well.
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Sounds to me she is flirtatious, likes to play hard to get, and doesn't care much about either one of you. Focusing on ONE girl will surly lead you to a path of self disaproval, go out and say the hell with her, be confident and most girls will be just as easy to get along with as she was.Many fish in the sea. =)-and the last time I let my gf go out with her new friends and i forget to make plans of my own =((