Gosh guys, I can't say it is getting any better...I got to go to lunch with my best friend, 15yrs my bf has never met him, and he's getting all uptight. They will meet, but the reason I saw my friend alone was because he is having marriage troubles, and was needing a trusted shoulder. When stuff like this erks the bf,,, he takes it out on his daughter! I am getting SOOOOO pissed!!! So far he hasn't started in on mine (kids). Feeling like it is on a downhill slope...and fast!
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No Games please, this is serious!!
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I Feel as if he is abusing you and his daughter emotionally... This could soon lead to physical abuse.. I'd be careful.. maybe talk to him about going to counciling with her
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Pepsi...I am 15 years old and most parents bicker and yell at their children about small things like that...but if it is every nite then i think you should have a get together with your boyfriend and a counselor...I know in school whenever I have a problem i go to my counselor and it always helps even if it only helps a little...It seems to me that parents try to be really nice to their children(maybe not in this case, i dont know) and eventually they just lose it and have to yell at the kids. If he constantly yells at his kid and fights with her a lot, he needs some professional help from a counselor. I hope anything that I said helped and I know you probably dont want to listen to what a 15 year old has to say, but I think i can see it from his childs point of view.
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I do listen to the kids! LOL That is why this is SOOO difficult for me! I just handle stuff very differently. Like I don't "give my kids a chance to lie", he does. Example; I KNOW that there is a homework assignment that the kid hasn't done. I just tell them to get it done, and let me see it when it is. I know that the kiddo doesn't want to do it, but little argue, no chance for a lie.On the other hand, Dad will know that the kid hasn't done an homework assignment, and ASKS the kid if all the home work is done. Kid being kid, will say ya its done. She doesn't want to do it, and thinks MAYBE this time I can get out of it. Fight ensues, and persists.This is why I agree with the counseling thing. I think his daughter has gotten away with lying, and such before, and now it is worth the gamble to her. On the other hand, she IS old enough that it is frusterating to us both. But she doesn't lie to me...just her father. We do have different parenting styles, but he just gets plain abusive at times.Again thanks for the info...from all of you
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By the way Pinkranger. I DO see it as abusive, it is getting to the point that I want to get them into counseling together, and run like hell....
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i think you may have mis-understood what I wrote...I meant that you might not want to listen to me for advice...but you are completely right...I do the same thing with homework, but I still get it done...I dont think that he hasnt had enough parenting experience, but he just doesnt understand that that is not what he should be doing...If you do go with him for counseling...you should also ask him (while you are there) if he maybe was abused as a child or his parents were like that...I know its a longshot, but it might be what is going on...
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Perhaps he doesn't see what he's doing. Sometimes when you say things they don't sound the same way in your head. Try taping him. Show him what he's doing. Or what about this? If you put the files on the computer, tell him to come and talk with you about it. When he says something reply with his own words. Name the files after what he's saying and just reply to him with his own words. After a bit ask him if he thinks his daughter might feel the way he's feeling when he says those things to her. Basically the guy just needs to buy a clue. I'll send you a dollar. lol
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Hey! That dollar hasn't shown up yet! :laughing:
Anyway...weekend was busy, Bf worked saturday, and one of my neighbors came over and helped me mow, he got to really interact with the girl. There were NO probs with her. And my neighbor knows a little about my situation, he spent the evening while we were bbq-ing bragging to my bf about what a wonderful girl he had, and how she just needed to be left alone once in a while to make her own mistakes, that she is no longer a child and that she needs teaching BEFORE she becomes a rebel who can't be taught. And how that teaching doesn't come from always telling them what to do. My neighbor, let on that he heard some of the bickering and such, and told my bf that he and his daughter used to do the same thing and now she is 25 and they haven't spoken in 7 or 8 yrs.
WAS incredibly helpful for my bf to hear these things from another man...I just hope it stays in there. Thanx guys, again for all the responses on this. I like the recorder idea if it doesn't last...
Getting the bf to counseling is proving to be a challenge.
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Hon thats great, lets hope he takes on board what the guy said.....and things get better hugs
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That reminds me of my science teacher. He has 7 girls all are between 12 and 16 and all with differernt wives, actually i lied, one is 5 and one is 18