Potty training..sort of

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Hi,

Glad I found this forum, hope someone can give me advice.

I have a younger female cousin who is 14. She basically is raising herself unfortunately. She spent the weekend with me while she was in town and during that time stated she was having some female problems. So, I took her to the doctor and what is going on is that she is getting vaginal infections of some sort do to not wiping properly when she has a bowel movement. From what I gather (not a exactly a topic a 14 year old wants to talk about to her male cousin), she is wiping forward or something like that and getting all that bacteria in or near or private parts.

So, I need help. I have no children and no experience with potty training basics so I dont know how to exactly explain how to well... wipe yourself afterwards. I of course know how to do it but explaining it, especially to your younger female cousin, is a whole different matter. Since she was never taught anything by her so called parents and had to learn on her own she is having a tough time.

I know this sounds weird but this girl needs help and I dont know where else to turn to. I feel sorry for her and try to take help her when I can. So, if anyone can help i would really appreciate it. Then I can print it off and let her read it on her own and not feel embarrassed.

Thanks.

Couldn't the Dr. have told her this?

He probably could have except she was too embarrassed to talk about it with a total stranger, doctor or not. At least here I have not revealed her name or anything personal that would identify her to cause her embarrassment.

There was no need for a debate. The doctor should have just told her: "Wipe from front to back". Since you knew that wiping back-to-front was a problem, you could probably have deduced that.

Dont know who is debating, I am not looking for that. I am looking for genuine help and thought this might be the place to look. Guess I am wrong in that assumption. Since I am a guy, as I had stated, I did not know if there are different concerns regarding women. I did not go in the examining room with her since that would be out of line. So, I do not know exactly what they discussed except for little bits and pieces of what she told me afterwards.Look, real simple here folks. I am just trying to help someone out and instead this post is starting to be be bogged down with what the doctor or I should have done. Please, if you do not have constructive advice I can pass along then this is a waste of time.I am just trying to help a person out with as little embarrassment to her as I can in a delicate subject as this. I dont see what the problem is.

Dont know who is debatingI'm talking about between the doctor and your cousin.I assume she had a urinary tract infection. Did the doctor prescribe an antibiotic?He should have said, "Wipe from front to back". I can't believe he didn't. (Were you in the office with her when she was being examined (hopefully not) so that you know that he or she didn't tell your cousin what to do?) Since he apparently didn't, you can tell her, "Wipe from front to back."Here's some more information on preventing urinary tract infections in children.

just tell her how to wipe. explain to her the reason for wiping front to back. Tell her its nothing to be embarrassed about and there have things much worse than that. I hear there are some people who live their entire lives wearing diapers because they dont know how to shit without one or they are just too lazy to deal with having to goto the bathroom to shit. Anyways its better she learn this stuff now. It would be a lot worse if she learned it when she was 18 or older.

people who live their entire lives wearing diapers because...Huh?> It would be a lot worse if she learned it when she was 18 or older. I'm not sure what would magically make her learn, other than repeated trips to doctors to treat urinary tract infections, until a doctor finally explains how to wipe.

yea you havent heard of those people who wear diapers their entire lives? Sometimes you'll notice them because their pants are puffier than normal and you can hear the diaper rubbing together when they walk.

I've heard of people wearing adult diapers because they're incontinent from a medical condition. I've never heard of anyone wearing a diaper because they're too lazy to use the toilet.

yea I heard of that too. but yes there are people who are that lazy.

I'm skeptical.

Sorry if I cam across defensive. I just am flustered. I feel sorry for her and the life she has had but thats a different story.

No, I did not go into the examining room! That goes against any morals I have and would not help her in anyway at all. Maybe the doctor did try to explain and she got embarrassed or something and didn't listen. I dont really know. She is young and having a tough time so I might not get all the info from her that I should to relate it here. She did have an infection though and we did get antibiotics.

I think, this might not come across wrong here and I am speculating, but she might not do it front to back because is used to her way and it might seem unnatural to her the other. So, I dont know how to really get across that it goes the other way. I asked her how she does it (boy thats not a fun conversation to start up!) and why. She says her way she can just reach down and wipe. The other way she hasnt figured out how you do it while sitting down and have to reach around. At that point we both felt extremely uncomfortable and the subject changed.

How does a parent teach a female child? I guess thats what I thought would maybe help explain. Geez, I dont know. This is more than I bargained for.

Anyway, thanks everyone for the help and thank you for that link as well!

I think my head is just swimming now and thats why I am flustered.

I have a blind daughter, and found toiletting her, and teaching her to keep herself clean down there was hard work. I taught her to wipe the front and the back separetly. Wiping over her 'front bottom' then reaching around and wiping her 'back bottom' LOL Ok she was only tiny when i taught her this and i am not sure how it would translate to a teenager.I think what your doing is very commendable hon, it can't be easy, and my heart goes out to both of you, especially for her and the life she has had so far. Good luck with everything hugs

Clearly, you don't wipe your behind after pooping while sitting down. You can wipe after peeing while sitting down, as long as you wipe in the correct direction. The idea is not to transfer bacteria from the anal area to the entrance of the vagina.

There's no need to go over how she does it now. Just tell her that after pooping, she needs to stand up and wipe in the direction away from the vagina. Not doing that will cause her to continue to get UTIs.

That's not lazy, that's stupid. Hopefully the girl won't spend the rest of her life in training pants.But he was talking about people who are to lazy to bother sitting on the toilet, so they just wear a diaper. Obviously he has never cleaned up a poopy diaper. You'd have to be incontinent, disabled, mentally ill, or have a very strange sexual fetish to wear a diaper as an adult.

well there are people who do that just out of pure laziness. I forget where i saw it might have been on tv or something i dunno. But yea its a crazy world, there are people who eat their own kids believing it'll make them live longer in this world so believing that there are lazy people who like to shit in diapers is very possible.

This thread reminds me of the NoFX song 'my vagina'On a more serious note op, it'll be easier telling her to wipe from front to back now, then in a few years time, right?