Sigh...

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I've been trying to sit on this for ages but now it's doing my head in.

I am STILL in love with the girl who dumped me last November. remember, the one who you all told me to dump repeatedly.

I still love her, and I can't get over her no matter what I try!

Back in Feb I told her and she flipped a lid and stopped talking to me for a month. Then she started to talk to me again. Talking then turned to playing with my hair, which then turned to hugging. It was weird. This is about April/May time.

In June she said to me that as soon as she gets a job she wants to get back together with me...

Then in July she backs off again suddenly. She starts saying stuff like "remember how we never got on?" (which is false, because we did get on, we just rarely saw each other).

Now she is back to "normal" just saying "hi" when I see her.

I'm so confused, but most of all, I need to get over her. I'm pretty sure she's either started dating again, or is going to very soon, so I need to get out of this rut very very quickly before my heart gets destroyed.

Help me :frowning:

I still love her, and I can't get over her no matter what I try!Destructive obsession...you are doomed to pain until you do. You are being used by this woman. She is getting on with her life while you are stuck. You know it's true. Haven't we been down this path before?

In reply to: You need to start dating again. Again doesn't come into it - I've never done it before because no-one is interested in me, fact.I've been trying. I almost got somewhere over the xmas period, but it turned out she was using me too.I'm sure that getting into dating would help this situation, but I can't get into dating! Never have been able to.

forget dating, forget women, do something for just yourself, go do something different, take up a new hobby, enjoy being you, with your friends, on your own, whatever, put a bit of time into yourself, you don't need a woman to be happy, and it seems you have to work on forgetting women for a while anyway. You can and WILL get over your ex, but i think you need to spend time on you, and find what makes you happy, before you jump into another relationship with anyone else. I know this sounds corny, but it IS true, love yourself and others will too.

"I know this sounds corny, but it IS true, love yourself and others will too"Learning to love oneself is the beggining of a life long romance - Oscar Wilde

I taught oscar everything he knows......knew...............oh you know what i mean grin

I'm not jumping on anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be with her again, because most of the time she's really moody. The problem is that all I remember are the good times we had.Unfortunately, she is the only experience I know with girls, which is why I'm so hung up on her. I feel stupid, and I'm really sure she has no interest in me.I just need to get over her - but it's been 10 months now and nothing has changed about how I feel about her, and I can't see it letting up any time soon

Your situation sounds like mine a little..with a twist of sorts. I still have/had feelings for this guy I haven't seen or really talked to in six months. In my mind I understand he's moved on and are chances to be together are pretty much slim to none. But something is/was keeping me from letting him/the situation go. Winged explained to me that I probably didn't really want him, but wanted the memories of the good times and what we "had". That might be where you're at and how you're feeling.

Do something for yourself.

Forget about this girl, she is NOT worth your time.

This is becoming a real problem now. I was round her house earlier (as i'm really good friends with the rest of the family) and she wasn't in.Her mum was saying how she was out with a guy called James, to which I became instantly jealous and asked who he was. Turns out he's the boyfriend of her friend, but for the few seconds when I didn't know this I was a wreck!My heart rate went up loads, I got really annoyed and uptight and felt quite hostile, and her family knew exactly why I asked the question.I don't want to feel like this! What can I do?

I don't want to feel like this! What can I do?Well, you can't shoot her and her family, so the next best thing is to stay away from her and her family. Honestly, your obsession is starting to scare me. You don't have any ideas about stalking her, do you?

No, it's not that sort of obsession.The problem is that her sister is the only friend I have right now. I have no other friends - at all, and so I'm kinda stuck here.If I stay away from her, I'll end up being sat in my room with no motivation - and I know you'll say "you have to MAKE YOURSELF do this" and I know, and I'm trying to fix it (I start councelling next week) but right now I need at least someone.I guess what bothers me is that she didn't give any decent reason for breaking up, and she has said that she did wanna be with me again at some point - but if she got a new boyfriend it'd make me feel like there's something wrong with me (or rather, it would confirm my suspicions).

I guess what bothers me is that she didn't give any decent reason for breaking upOh my God, give it up. She broke up with you, but you can't face it. She told you she'd think about getting back together with you because she is a jerk. All the more reason to let it go.If her sister is your friend, why do you have to see her at her house?> I know you'll say "you have to MAKE YOURSELF do this"I would not say that. I will say, Have you thought about antidepressants? They are sometimes effective for obsessive compulsive disorders. You also need to figure out that you're not a worthless piece of crap, to be kicked around by some girl who obviously couldn't care less about your feelings.

My doctor said she wouldn't put me on them cos she wants me to try councelling first...

Haven't you been through a fair amount of counseling already? Is your coulselor able to prescribe antidepressants? How long do your doctor and counselor propose talk therapy alone before trying something else? Are you happy with the job that your counselor is doing? I would recommend seeing a doctor who specializes in psychological issues and can prescribe drugss: a psychiatrist. Many family doctors don't have the right expertise.

No i've not started councelling yet. All I had was a "screening session" to determine if I'm suitable or not, and they said yes, I am.

So I have my first session next Tuesday.

OK, I didn't realize that. See how it goes...I wish you good progress.

I agree.. go out and look for new friends!

Actually they invite me over, and I've been asked to go on holiday with them (minus my ex) this xmas season.

I was round there yesterday actually, and I didn't feel so attracted to her (she was being an utter bitch - moreso than usual) - so hopefully this trend will continue. I think as I haven't seen her in a good light and all I've seen is bad stuff recently, it's starting to make me understand how crappy she is.

Actually they invite me over, and I've been asked to go on holiday with themDon't they think that that makes their daugter (your ex) rather uncomfortable?