Okay here's the run down. My ex and I were together for 5 years. We broke up about 2 years ago but remianed very close friends, best friends actually. In the last two years neither of us were in any relationships and there were times we were sexual but we always said it was because we could trust each other and never had to worry about diseases etc etc. Well about 6-7 months ago I started dating this new guy who I REALLY like A LOT, and my ex respected that of course and we become strictly just friends (no sex). Though my ex now refuses to spend a lot fo time around my new BF and I because he said it hurts alittle seeing I have moved on. Well about a week or two ago my ex told me he might be getting a job offer to be a Controller of a new project for his company in Rochester, NY (he lives in Cleveland now). That really bothered me because he's my best friend and the thought of him moving so far away really hurts. Well than he tells me that if he gets the job he'll be moving this month (August). So I was thinking this past weekend how it was the last weekend I would be able to spend time with him incase he got the job because this coming weekend I am going on a cabin trip with my BF and 2 other friends (which I spend a lot of money on) and the weekend after I have to dog sit for my sister plus that's the last weekend of the month and he would of already moved. Well, when I talked to him about this he said he could not see me because he had a date. I know it might sound rude of me, but I asked him if he could possible reschedule the date because this could be the last weekend to see each other and I feel I should come first because I'm his best friend and he doens't even know this guy. Plus if this guy really liked my ex he's understand the situation and wouldn't mind waiting a few more days. Well to make it short he refused to reschedule the date. Well I spoke to him Sunday night and found out he ended up having oral sex with his date and it really bothered me a lot. It almost felt like he picked getting oral sex over spending time with me (which again could of been the last time I seen him in a LONG time). Reguardless this has now caused a fight between my ex and I. Part of me feels discussed by him because like I said it felt like he picked oral sex over me and the other part of me is very sad because now theres a chance I won't get a chance to see him before he moves. If the shoe was on the other foot I would have reschedule my date to spend time with him if there was a possibility I would not get a chance to see him before I moved 6-8 hours away.I am trying to be level headed on the topic but I cannot stop thinking about it and being hurt on what happened. I am not going to lie, it does bother me he had sex with someone else, guess part of me still holds on to him. There's a great deal of affection for him as I know theres still alot there for me from him. There's just issues that we could not over come in our relationship (He wans't out to his family so I was always a lie, and I want children and he refuses to have any). I just don't understand why it bothers me so much for?? I found someone who I totally adore, but why can I not let my ex do the same thing? Would anyone else be hurt if the same thing happened to them? Could it just be the way he went about it that hurt me?Sorry if it seems like a ramble just a lot going through my mind. Any comment or suggestions would be wonderful. Thanks!
Why is this bothering me so much??
Woo... This sounds way to familiar.Was your ex your first love? Cos I know I hate seeing the person whom I was first in a relationship with go near anyone else...Perhaps it's kinda a case of 'if I can't have him nobody can' maybe? All I can say to you is perhaps tell him everything that you just wrote above. Sounds extreme/tad over the top, but for me, sharing shit like that, and making the person understand my feelings usually helps the situation, just whatever you do, don't let him go off with bad feelings inside of you, afterall its pretty amazing that you guys are still best mates after all this time and also being together.
Yeah my ex was my first love. For many years there I was for sure he was the one. Though I was the one who ended the relationship because I was tired of being his "ex girlfriends brother who I am not best friends with" to his family and his "cousin" to his friends. I just started feeling like a dirty secret.. plus like I said I also want children and he does not.And I certainly don't want him leaving with there being bad blood. It just really hurt what he did.