Well I hope I don't go off rambling too much but I need to get my point access... To start im 14 years old and live in USA have a brother and sister who are 22 and 26, They both were kicked out of our house after being caught with marijuana in their rooms. I rarely talk to either of them because they went their seperate ways and my mom thinks I belong to a cult when i attempt to...And on that subject, My mother also has cut off all communication with my aunt and cousins ( her sister + neices ) because she ( my aunt ) tried to get her into a mental insitution... ( Dont worry, you'll understand )For 14 years and my brother and sister im sure could back me up, my mother has been rather insane. I know for a fact that she has split personalities as some days we can order pizza hut pizza and have a great time playing monopoly and the next day she will be stabbing my dad's truck's tires and screaming at my brother.The oldest memory of her being crazy was on the fourth of July ( I was probably 6? ) when she was driving drunk and eventually hit a signpost totalling the family car and getting her a hefty fine...I'm not sure what her problem is and I know it has been going on long enough 14 years ago as I think she ruined my siblings lives, I know when i talk to my brother that all she did was insult him and send him to his room... And not to sound crazy but my sister says that my mom lit her hair on fire when she was a girl.She's a heavy drinker and definately sickly looking, Im about a foot taller then her ( im not sure my exact height ) and shes only around 90lbs.. shes ~57 years old. And not to sound mean but Its once in a blue moon when i see her bathe, every month or so she will go into "moods" my dads says that its her period but i know of no women or have never heard of any going to the extremes that she has... When she goes in these moods it normally starts at night when I'm on the computer and my Dad's asleep, she doesnt work so she really just sits around and watches TV. I'll hear some screaming and she'll be in her bedroom screaming at my father how he doesnt do anything and how hes lazy and how the house needs painting... I wish for once that she could understand that he needs to sleep so he could work but when i interviene things only get worse.A few examples would work more then me trying to explain it because i really don't know the problem.She has slit the tires on my dads personal truck 5+ timesSlit the tires on my dads work truck 2 timesThrew my dads radio out the window...Threw my cat out the window.Drove drunk 5 times+ ( Ill go further )Hit my dad with a frying pan once.Yelled louder then anything you could believe.And attempted each of the following I'll be loose and say 500 times.As for her attempting to drive drunk, I have stopped her personally many times, every time i feel terrible after doing so and when my dad does it, she tries to hit him and ends up hurting her self more ( he doesnt retaliate, hes a saint in my mind... ) then she claims that its his fault. Ive stolen her keys, broke her keys, held the door closed so she couldnt come out and even once wrestled her out of the car knowing that if she did go anywhere she would probably end up killing herself, but when she comes back she'll repeat the same things over again how she will never forget this and how I always go to my father and then the next day she won't remember a thing.After another night of this dragging bullshit I figure I want to know others opinions on her, I suppose she could be classified as insane, a drunk, skitz, Bipolar, or any but i know she would never go to a psychiatrist and i dont want to call anyone because i still love her... Knowing that my dads getting older and this will eventually give him a heart attack i want to know what i can do or what i should do. I confronted her twice and each times lead me to a guilt trip which i cant take...If you need to know any more just reply, Ill be keeping a keen eye here.Thanks.
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Insane I suppose.
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This is a difficult situation. Usually you have to wait until she does something so outrageous and (especially) dangerous that treatment can be enforced. The only alternative is your father and her separating, which, from what you say, seems unlikely.
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wow, that's a very hard thing to deal with. It may seem a little extreme, but you can try to talk to some social workers - try bringing help from the outside, because obviously she ont go for help herself. There are some deep issues here that can't be dealt with on a forum, so I suggest to talk to a school councilor, your minister/rabbi/etc or anyone who can contact the right authorities.I wish you all the best.
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That's a very good idea. It would both supply support, and also someone who will sympathise and who can testify that it is an on-going problem, if you need to take action, or you need special consideration from school.
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I concur with the advice given here dear this is a serious problem and requires serious attention. It has the potential not only to harm your mother and father but to cause you long-term psychological damage as well. Your responsibility here is to take care of yourself first and to do what you can for those you love second. One thing I might suggest is that you confront your father who by the way is not a saint since he is in a position of power and authority and yet has allowed this to continue, in effect allowing your mother to damage you and your siblings. So I would suggest you confront your father and tell him something has got to change and immediately. And then, yes look for some professional help wherever you can find it.
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He knows the problems its creating but hes afraid he will lose custody if he gets a divorce.
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Not getting a divorce doesn't mean not doing anything at all! You mom needs help before she physically hurts someone...not to mention the psychological damage she's doing to her family. It's hard to believe that your father is afraid of losing custody to your mother, but getting some documentation of her behavior now will prevent that from happening. Also, someone your age should have some say in chosing which parent he'd live with.But divorce is not at the top of the list of things you guys should be worrying about. Your mother seriously needs help. Not getting her help is doing serious damage to your family.