JOKES

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1)Hey everyone did u know that i am part welsch and part hungarian----I guess that would make me well-hung2)man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked ... "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?" I am sorry if i offended any body if i did send me a pm and i will give u many appologies

The best basketball player is Asian and the best golfer is Black.

Actually Tiger Woods is half black, half Asian.Welcome back, hallo!

How does any of that pertain to my jokes??

A man goes into a restaurant with a dog. The waiter says, "You can't bring a dog in here!""Oh, but this is a very special dog", says the man, "He's a talking dog."The waiter is sceptical. "If the dog can talk", he says, "I'll give you both a free meal."So the man shows him. "What is over the top of the restaurant?", he asks the dog.The dog says, "R-r-r-roooff!""Now I'll ask a question", says the waiter. "Who is the greatest footballer in the league?"The dog says, "R-r-r-roooff!"The man and the dog pick themselves up from the street outside. "Whom should I have said?" the dog asks the man.

Ever think of the best way to sneak drugs past the border when you're coming from Mexico? Stick the drugs up a dogs ass, that way the men at the border will just think the dogs are being frisky.

Caution: My jokes may be offensive to certain people. I'm not mean, I just think it's funny.1. A girl asked me if I could have sex with her and hurt her. I said hell yeah. So, right when I was cumming I hit her in the head with a brick.2. I personally don't believe in multiple female orgasms, because like an atheist, I don't believe in something I've never seen3. Ever notice that sometimes in a public bathroom you'll see a cigarette butt in the urinal? I love aiming at it while peeing and imagining I'm a fighter pilot against the Japanese. In the end, the other pilot always gets pissed on and ends up doing a kamakaze down the toilet.

It's been about 2 years since I've been trick or treating. Ya know, I always wonder how many people actually follow the honor system. Especially when parents aren't around. I'm not gonna lie, I followed the honor system. The little note left would always say, "Honor System: Please Take One". The problem with that sign is it didn't specify ONE what? So whenever I saw that sign I'd take the one bowl. But don't worry, I was honorable. I left the sign.* I know this isn't a comic show and you're my audience, but I like to pretend *

i took "one" of each kind lolwhere i treated at they always gave like 2 or 3 pices anyway. it kinda was about how the size of the candy was, lol the thing is go to the houses that don't get alot of treaters cuz they give alot to get rid of it. lol

um web how did this go from jokes to hollaween lol
now that's funny :grin:

ok...ok... i'm a dum ass, i just got ur post web.

lmao. now that's funny!

Being homeschooled, I have a lot of time on my hands and often just have fun making parodies/jokes: One day my grandpa and I went fishing out on the old lake. As he was casting he smiled and said "You know, Jimmie, it's not how long your rod is; it's how you wiggle your worm." An awkward silence fell over us for the remainder of the trip. Here's an unintentional parody script that I wrote when I was nine. James Bond Spoof It was meant to be an actual "action-packed" James Bond movie that I was going to make with my friends at the time at the time... until we realized that we couldn't afford a cruiseship, airplane, train, etc. I found the script a few years later, cleaned up the awful spelling, then put it on the internet. If you're bored, it's something to read

It's really funny, xIrish. You really are a prodigy to produce that at nine. It's hard to spoof James Bond, because it's so silly to start with.