Hey, im new here and my first outing is about threesomes.I have a fantasy about my girlfriend and I having a threesome with another dude(no bi stuff).My girlfriend has a problem with this, she says it hurts her knowing i could want someone else to touch her.We have considered and planned to have one but she always backs out and gets depressed.I have told her i wont make her do it and the only way it'll ever happen is if she wants it to(my way of saying i dont want it to ever actuall happen),but she still hates that i fantasize and want it to happen.Tonight she said that since i dream about her doing it with other guys she was going to have sex with someone and then tell me about it just to see if i like it or not.I dont like it and i dont want it to happen but i still cant stop fantasizing about it.This is all very confusing, some help please....
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Problem with Fantasy(big problem)
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Welcome to A2A, Luckyseven. I think most girls (not all) are not happy about threesomes. For most women the relationship is more important than the sex, and they feel (with some justice) that a threesome is a potential threat to the relationship. You are right to tell her you won't do it but perhaps you need to make it clearer.Also, many women are unhappy about fantasies and don't distinguish as strongly between thought and deed. Since it's often very difficult or impossible to stop fantasising, all you can do is pretend you don't any more. She may not believe you but your efforts to say the right thing will be appreciated. (Women don't always want the truth - often what they are seeking is validation and support. Otherwise they wouldn't ask their friends all the time how they look.)Her threat to have sex with someone else is an attempt to give you a taste of your own medicine. She doesn't intend to do it but she expects you to make a fuss and acknowledge that she is right.
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Thanks for replying, i have told her that fantasies are alot of the time just a passing thing, so maybe tonight i will tell her after our fight over it i dont want it at all anymore.
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From a female perspective, i have to say that knowing this she is probably feeling that she isn't sexually pleasing you, and that you have to fantisise about stuff to be excited - that she herself doesn't do it for you anymore.I agree with pete in pretending it doesn't interest you anymore. I don't think she would beleive you if you all of a sudden say your not interested anymore, however, if you don't mention it, or dismiss it if she brings it up the whole matter will hopefully go away...........reassure her that you find her attractive and she turns you on, without bringing anyone else into it.
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i have the same fantasy. watching my girl with another guy. i dont know when it happend, i. used to be the jealous type. now i fantasize about watching her