Guys jerking off other guys? thought about it?

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I really gets tiring to keep repeating it, but sexual orientation, sexual attraction and gender identification are all things that vary from people to people and are almost never just black or white. Ever heard of shades of gray? Just because you've never had doubt about those things for you, doesn't mean that other people won't, or that they'll be as clean cut are you. Personally, I'm straight, so I'm not talking out of personal interest, but failing any real definition, I'll define sexual orientation both by sexual *and* emotional attraction.

In reply to: Ever heard of shades of gray? The grey area is indeed pretty large. If you look at the Kinsey study (I think the main a2a page talks about it...), it's very definate that there's no absolute answer to it.Basically, emotion attraction is much less important than physical attraction in determining sexual orientation. Even more simplified, it's whoever 'gets you up.' Emotional attraction without physical attraction doesn't really work in the long run. Physical attraction without emotional attraction can work however, so that means that sexual orientation is more based in physical attraction rather than emotional attraction.So to apply this to the original post...One act doesn't make you gay... numerous acts don't make you gay, it's whether or not you're attracted to men in general that would make you gay.

That is Gay.

So you'd have to say that a married guy who don't have a good physical relationship with his wife, but who has sex with men on the sly ("down low"), is probably a closeted gay man.

Well that sounds like a joke question right there... But, I just said that given that scenario, if he's not physically attracted to his wife, or any woman, but he is physically attracted to men, then he is most likely gay.It shouldn't be that confusing... I thought I explained it well enough.

It wasn't a joke. Don't take offense. I'm just trying to make it clear.

The word your searching for isTry-sexual: Try anything sexual.Do you have someone in mind or just any guy? There my be the answer.

Hey bud, great answer!

so that means that sexual orientation is more based in physical attraction rather than emotional attraction.Absolutely not true... in general. As Shy said there's always a large grey area. But in GENERAL ones sexual orientation is based on emotional needs over physical needs. Some people can have sex with either gender, it's simply about sexual gradification. But when it comes down to their true sexual orientation it comes from their emotional need and emotional attraction to a certain gender.I'm certainly not trying to be difficult. It's just in college I've studied so much into sexual behaviors and sexual orientation that I about went crazy lol. Though the grey field is always very large and by far is sex in any form a black and white situation. But to talk in general, it usually plays out how I described above.

Sexual orientation is your sexual preference. Key word, "sexual". It doesnt refer to who you click with emotionally.

umm Sexual generally means gender.If you really want to debate this with me feel free.. but I have years of college under my belt with LOADS of courses in sexual orientation, sexual identity, Sex in today's society, and the list continues.Oh and actually if you want to be technical sexual orientation and sexual preference goes hand in hand. I'm simply saying sexual orientation derives from emotions or so that the act of sex itself.

Well excuse me, but it doesnt take a degree to figure this out. All it takes common sense.You desire sex with same gender only - gayYou desire sex with both genders - bi sexualYou desire sex with opposite gender only - straight

Sorry I didn't mean to come off cocky I was just in a hurry when I made my last post.Problem is you are making this to be so clean cut and simple. Sexuality is not clear cut nor is it simple. There are angles to sexuality that I'm sure you don't know about.. hell there's angles I probably don't know yet.Again I will try to explain. In most humans sex includes emotions. Meaning that you have passion for this person and wish to share intimacy. There are people like myself that HAVE to have emotion tied to sex or sex just isn't going to happen; I cannot get sexual arroused without emotional attachment. Now there's the other extreme as well, like my friend Jason, who does not attach emotion with sex. To him sex is just a fun activity and has no bearings on emotion. Now my friend is a bit FAR extreme to the fact even when he's in a relationship he has sex with other people because to him it's not cheating because there is no emotional attachment to the other people. He is gay because when it does come to emotions he prefers males and only desires to be in a relationship with a male, but when it comes to sex he can just as easily have sex with a female as a male (Though admittingly he would prefer it to be a male) because to him it's just sexual gradification. Jason is actually my favorite person to study when it comes to sexuality because he has all the abnormal qualities when it comes to sexual orientation and sexuality.Hope that makes it a bit more clear...?? Again sorry if I came off cocky in my last post, I was just in a hurry.

There are angles to sexuality that I'm sure you don't know about.. hell there's angles I probably don't know yet.There are many things about sexuality that no one knows about, including the academics. There are many questions that have no definitive answers.> There are people like myself that HAVE to have emotion tied to sex or sex just isn't going to happen; I cannot get sexual arroused without emotional attachment.I'll bet there are circumstances where that's not true. No one is that "perfect". Are you able to get aroused when you masturbate? I'd wager that your cerebral cortex is overruling your limbic system.I'm not sure why you think Jason is so aberrant. I'm not sure that he's unusual at all.

Trust be Jason is unusual... more ways than one LoL. But on a sexual level he is unusual. Though a lot of guys get arroused by other people they are not in a relationship with they would still consider it cheating if they act on the urge. Again as Jason dones't even consider that cheating (hence why he has cheated on every BF he's ever had). Jason literally has seperated sex from emotion/relationship. That's very unusual (or maybe it's the fact most men would not confess to all this like Jason has).

As for masterbating yes I can get arroused but thats also just masterbation. That's me being aroused by myself or the images I am watching.

As for "There are people like myself that HAVE to have emotion tied to sex or sex just isn't going to happen; I cannot get sexual arroused without emotional attachment." But that is VERY true for myself. I tried when I was younger with a one night thing and I just couldn't get arroused. The boy was hot as hell and his body was drool worthy but there was just nothing there. Not to mention tons of "what if's" running through my mind that are never there when I share an emotional connection with someone because there's nothing to worry about. Why?? Because there's an emotional connection! =-D

\> I tried when I was younger with a one night thing and I just couldn't get arroused.
You realize that there could be any number of reasons for that. Lack of comfort with another person itself can prevent arousal. I think you're over-romanticising the human sexual behavoir complex of behaviors, rather than looking at it scientifically. In any case, obsessing over _one's own_ behaviors, or those of one other individual, is of very limited utility.
There sure are a lot of "friends with benefits". Even if it doesn't always work for both people, it usually works just fine for one.

>You realize that there could be any number of reasons for that. Lack of comfort with another person itself can prevent arousal

And what causes such thing to happen? not have an emotional connection with that person. I mean i seriously have no idea how I can be more clear LoL.

>I think you're over-romanticising the human sexual behavoir complex of behaviors, rather than looking at it scientifically

Sexuality is complex Steve. First off I am not "over-romanticising" anything. I'm going out the knowledge and studies that I have done while in college. The course material is a mix of scientific data and also data taken from personal studies.

>In any case, obsessing over one's own behaviors, or those of one other individual, is of very limited utility.

It is?? Really?? I'd liek you to explain why you think that. Sexology has some a long way in helping people deal with sexuality and not to mention has made great strides in the understanding of sexual orientation.

And what causes such thing to happen? not have an emotional connection with that person.That you assume you have the answer is the problem. It could be any variety of things. Your jumping to a conclusion is not scientific. And it might not be correct.> I'm going out the knowledge and studies that I have done while in college. The course material is a mix of scientific data and also data taken from personal studies.Statistics are more valuable than any individual's personal experience. This issue comes up again and again and again.>> In any case, obsessing over one's own behaviors, or those of one other individual, is of very limited utility.> It is?? Really?? I'd liek you to explain why you think that. Sexology has some a long way in helping people deal with sexuality and not to mention has made great strides in the understanding of sexual orientation.You've studied science, and you don't understand that? You take away far too much from your interpretation of individuals (single data points), especially of yourself. Didn't you learn about experimental bias? I'd think the person one would be most biased about would be himself.Sexology is among the softest of the soft sciences. It's not physics, it's not organic chemsitry, and it's not even psychiatry. It's a young and evolving field. A lot of what you read in your textbooks are people's interpretiations. The information on which to base opinions is limited, and everyone has biases. Ideas in the field will evolve, just as they have and continue to do in psychology. As you'll recall, the DSM considered homosexuality to be a pathology until the early 70's.

Steve stick to things you know about and leave sexuality alone. It's damned funny that in a few semesters I will have a degree in Sexology and you are trying to tell me how things are?? It's complete ignorance on your side that you think you know everything. Guess no one told you that it was okay not to know everything?Go through years of study and Sexology and than we can talk.>> And what causes such thing to happen? not have an emotional connection with that person.>That you assume you have the answer is the problem. It could be any variety of things. Your jumping to a conclusion is not scientific. And it might not be correctFirst off people are comofortable around people usually because of comfrot, comfort comes from a connection with a person. Connections comes from emotions. Again how much clearer do I need to make this??>> I'm going out the knowledge and studies that I have done while in college. The course material is a mix of scientific data and also data taken from personal studies.>Statistics are more valuable than any individual's personal experience. This issue comes up again and again and again.Umm when did I use individual experiece other than using my friend Jason and myself as differences for an example (Since people understand examples better)? Everything else I have said were things taught and I have learned through schooling.>You've studied science, and you don't understand that?I understand science very well thanks. Since I have taken science courses I have gotten straight A's in it. Problem is you rely on science for everything and science does not have the answers for everything. You need to open you eyes and mind to other landscapes of knowledge.>Sexology is among the softest of the soft sciencesAll sciences start somewhere and Sexology has made some serious improvements and understandings about sexuality, as I have stated in my last post. There are more people than you know with a sexology degree. MANY marriage counselors for one have sexology degrees. It's a very interesting and informative field, sorry that you seem to want to discredit it.

Steve stick to things you know aboutI know a lot about science and the methods of science. Jeeez, I've even used calculus and differential equations in my science courses.> I understand science very well thanks.Thinking that is your fatal flaw, regardless of your grades.I'm not trying to discredit sexology. I'm just saying that it's not on the same scientific footing as chemistry. Sexology is a young and evolving field. Just as in psychology in general, it's impossible to keep personal and cultural biases out of interpretations of behavior, and even in interpretation of statistics. I assume Sexology will evolve into a harder science. When it does, it will become more useful. I hope you're not going to jump to Freud's defense now.> Problem is you rely on science for everything and science does not have the answers for everything. Science does not have the answers to everything, and some of its theories are partially or completely incorrect. But it's the best we have. Anything else is guessing and speculation. It may make some people feel good to get answers for things that are currently (or permanently) unanswerable, but it doesn't mean that those answers have any connection to reality.I assume you're not planning to become a researcher.