Long story short, the sex in my relationship with my husband sucks, he can never last long enough for me to ever have any fun, like 5 minutes ...and i am soooo fed up , i do love him, but i am wanting some REAL sex, for a day atleast... anyway, i seem to think that he has been having a affair , the last time we had 'sex' was a month or so ago, and he is 37 and i am 40 , what gives? I dont care , what can you really do about it any way with out proof right, but the problem is , I am getting sick of not having any sex! With a REAL man,, oh also the last time we had sex he used a veggie on hisself , and that is sorta a turn off for me, what am i to do, been married for 17 years , get a fuck buddy or not????
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Sex in relationship sucks...
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If you love your husband you should not get a sex buddy. Did you have good sex earlier in the relationship? If you did, it seems some things are going wrong. Maybe he's just losing interest and the vegetable thing was just something to do different. Talk with your partner, it sounds like there is some communication problems here as well.
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well your right about that , miscommunication is the main problem, but he doesnt think there is 'anything' wrong with our relationship, I do talk to him , all he does is listen. I feel like i am making him have sex with me, and i dont want that . If he is bored or something to that nature , then he needs to be honest and let me know. We have been together along time and i feel like we are mostly friends then husband and wife. And i dont really like that ''husband and wife assoication word'' I would rather say , our relationship. anyway, I seriously need to talk to someone about this that is going on , I am basically up against the wall.. i have been thinking of a divorce, because i dont want to cheat on him.. i figure if i am going to mess around, at least i will set him free first. Even if he is bored, and wants to find some thing new, which is fine with me, why does he have to do it with a veg, do you know what i am trying to say, this is sorta hard for me to talk about it. Its like this morning, i told him i wish we had more sex, and he said ''well you should of jumped on me last night'',, I am always having to be the agresser.. if i want sex i have to get him going, i would never get it, other wise. Is this the way it is suppose to be?
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It's not supposed to be that way, but every relationship hits a bump every now and then. Unless your the perfect couple, and those don't come around very often.It sounds like you're doing most of the talking. You may want to ask him questions. Whatever you do, do not cheat on him. If you have to get a divorce in order not to do that, then it's what you must do. But I think you have to first go through some steps. Maybe mention to him that you're relationship is going downhill, and if he still doesn't listen, mention a marriage counselor. If he doesn't pay attention then, maybe you need to mention divorce, but practice extreme hesitance when proceeding with mentioning this. Ask a lot of questions. The goal is to get him to talk. I hope this helps.
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My relationship also went flat there for a while after 5 years. We went to counselling a handful of times to learn what problems/issues we had and learn some relationship skills. I was lucky the counsellor was not judging or picking on either one of us. My libido was low or non existant and I remember giving my partner a massage by surprise then he gave me one and it was back to the awesome sex we both remembered and missed. Taking a break and talking helps. I make sure he knows how much I love him and the faith in us is what improved our relationship. All the best. Perhaps in counselling you could get him to realise you would like him to initiate sex. Maybe try writing him a letter, staying positive but identifying your needs.
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I'm coming from the male side of things. I have a few questions. Early in your relationship did he have to beg fro sex? You don't mention children, but if you had children did he have to ask you for sex when you and he were raising them? I know from my past experience that I have been in two relationships where I had to beg for the sex. It got to be such a big deal that I just stopped asking and waited for them to ask. I do feel sorry for U about him not fullfilling your needs. I don't understand why more men do-not get it about pleasing the woman first and foremost before they go Off. As far as sex on the side. I would only encourage that if you plan on getting a devorce. If he finds out he will use it against you, even if he is having one. I would be open to explain and help more if your interested. You can e-mail me.
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Badgirl, I don't think you should cheat on your husband. Have you talked to him about your sexual relationship? I hope he's not having an affair. Good luck.oh btw I live in Texas too! lol