Anal sex

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so i had unprotected anal sex with my male dog( i wuldnt of done anal had he been a she) now my penis hurts, did i get a dog poop infection, i didnt use a condom becuase i fiugerd he didnt have any STD's. did some one eles have sex with my dog before me, and if so , who?

well, i take my hat off to you. i think youve taken the crown of the most prolific posting troll on the board for a long time. congratulations.

I had unprotected sex with my hand I hope its not pregnant.

You'd better hope that your hand wasn't ovulating.

Well it has been getting a little fat lately and vomiting in the mornings. Edit: Wait I almost forgot to put a cheesy joke to the original poster saying somthing along the lines of "Thats what you call giving the dog a bone". Is thi guy old mother hubbard?

omg u need to give ur hand a pregnancy test asap. I suggest also putting some money away in funds for ur new hand/person child.

I hope you're ready to be a parent. You're going to have a Muppet.

Dont worry I have a metal coat hanger saved for just this occasion!

make sure its a rusty metal

Its rusty as fuck we cant afford fancy stainless steal hangers. Well its a family airloom, my mother tried to abort me with it you see, lucky i managed to burst through her stomach alien style and make a run for it. Its still got the uterus juice on it main reason why its rusted, fond memories. The only reason why she still keeps me is because I am holding her bladder and 2 of her ribs hostage, managed to take it with me on the way out the placenta.

LMAO i dont even know what to say

I'll sell you a rib if youre hungry.

Well, i am kind of hungry. And ribs sound good. And your mom sounds good, mmmmmm (sorry had to throw in the mom joke)

My mom is my sister and my cousen, I think you will find you are insulting alot of family members in one by saying that, and I am highly offended. I dont think I will be cooking this rib for you anymore, you can just have an opera winfrey rump stake as punishment.

ew, now that is just cruel

If you dont eat it who will? Fat chicks need loving too they just have to pay. - quagmire

Props on the Quagmire quote, however, still gross

You make Opera sad

It's a good Web browser.

I was refering to Opera Winfery, but yes, he makes the web browser sad too.