I need big help from the ladies

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Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about a year and things have been great except for the sex. For one when we do have sex sometimes she feels pain othertimes she just feels nothing, no arousal or excitement from sex. Only time anything feels good is when I finger her, that is the only time she says it feels fine but when we have sex she says she feels "numb" down there. What can I do to make her feel the way I feel. We do use a condom by the way. Should I eat her out and then have sex? If so how do I eat her out?

I am new to the board also. I just did a post over in the circumcision section about a very similar thing. When I have sex with my fiance I don't feel anything. He is uncircumcised and I was wondering if that had anything to do with it. When he fingers me I feel it. Also when I use a dildo, that is about the same size as him, I feel it. I don't feel numb per se, I just dont feel anything. I don't really know what is causing it. It might help if your girlfriend is really turned on. Eating a girl out is really simple. You just lick the whole area down there but focus mainly on her clit. Start sucking on her labia. Depending on how she responds continue doing what she likes.

Whatever it has do do with, it doesn't have anyting to do with being uncircumcised. The sensitive part of the female genitalia is near the entrance anyway, and the head of the penis is usually buried in the vagina during intercourse.

Yeah, I undersand now that it doesn't have anything to do with him being uncircumcised. However, I still don't know why I can't feel him. Stevo do you guys do any foreplay?

Well.. I do finger her a little bit. I never ate her out and Im wondering if I should start. My size down there is around 5.7 6.inches and Im starting to wonder if im to small to make her feel down there. Is this a good size to feel ?

As I said just above, since most of the sensitive part of the female genitalia is near the entrance, length has nothing to to with it, unless your penis is very, very short. Yours is right about average, so it can't possibly be length. If it's very thin circumference-wise, it could be an issue.> sometimes she feels pain othertimes she just feels nothing, no arousal or excitement from sexPain? She can clearly feel something. Does she have some kind of complex about intercourse? Is sure sounds like it.In any case, you can't stick in your penis if she's not lubricated. If she tends to be chronically dry, you can use a "personal lubricant." She needs to be ready before the pounding begins. You need to do foreplay for however long it takes. Oral sex is definitely a good idea.Has she had an orgasm?

Yeah I think you should try eating her out. It is great for foreplay or to get her off. Does she give you blow jobs?To be honest I don't even know what a good size is, I mean I am sorta in the same boat as she is. What is your width? That matters more than the length.

Maybe (to stevo) you could try having sex with her and using your hand to stimulate her clit at the same time, and that way you would both get pleasure from it?
I had a friend like this... the problem ended up being that she had some issues with the guy that she was afraid to bring up. The problems weren't to do with sex, but they were making it hard for her to enjoy herself. After she talked to him, she found that they were able to communicate much better and the problem was not between them anymore... and she could also tell him what she liked and didn't like. It made her feel so much better.
Are there any underlying problems that you two have had??
If it is not to do with this, it may simply be that she is not turned on enough before you enter her. Do you use lube? I would advise you to NOT use it for a while if you do, so that her natural lubrication will have to be a good indication of whether or not she is ready for you to enter her..
I can't com up with anything else at the minute... I hope everything goes ok for you! And to you curious :grin:

saying she feels numb down there, fits exactly how i used to feel.......and the cause, i just wasn't turned on enough, and it was nothing i could put my finger on. We ended up not having sex for months, cos i wasn't going to just lay there for the sake of his needs.My sex drive had completely gone, and i had no idea why or how to get it back. In the end it was down to me, and how i felt, how sexy i felt, how sexy i felt in bed etc etc..........once i tackled that, i started to love sex again and the numbness faded away.I suggest that you and she take the time to have lots of forplay, find out what turns her on (and no as much as she loves you it won't be just you LOL) and please don't take this as me saying you don't. And as for the pain, that makes me think that, again, she isn't aroused enough, and, it could be the fear of the pain that stops her from relaxing, kinda a viscious circle.

Wow alot of great feedback thanks you guys. I really want to eat her out(sounds weird :P) so we can enjoy the same pleasures in bed but she is scared to let me because of all the stories she heard about guys commenting on the vagina smell. My width is 5.2 inches in circ around there I think. We did use a condom and some KY Jelly and when we do have sex most of the time she isnt dry she is semi-wet or wet.

Its wierd i have had a lot of PMs about this recently.If she is embarrassed and can't relax about you giving her oral (i HATE the term eating her out!!!) then maybe you could both take a shower or a bath together, and then do it, she will know she is clean etc.Another thing would be to, after fingering her etc, comment that the smell of her is still on your hand and how much you love it and how much it turns you on. That way she will know that the smell isn't a problem. The first time you give her oral sex, i would imagine it would take a while for her to be perfectly comfortable, if she has fears in her head, but take it slow, gently and make sure she knows how much she does it for you, and that should help

omg this is such good support thanks you guys for making me have some confidence back. Ill keep you guys posted