I have a BIG problem I've been wondering about for a long time. I've never been given an orgasm. To start with, I've been masturbating for a while now, and I can have an orgasm that way...Just can't be given one. I've been having sex for 2 years. I've been with a couple different guys, each with their own special techniques. Everything feels great...sex and foreplay are great. It's just that nothing gets me over the hill, ya know? They always cum, not the problem. I love sex, but I want to enjoy what everyone else enjoys. Plus it really makes the guys I'm with feel bad, like they're failing. What's wrong with me!?Oh I'm 19 btw; don't know if that matters, lol.
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Ultimate Frustration
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I suggest you check out girlstalkaboutitall.com where women discuss these things and give out tips.One of which would be to try and relax and not put so much pressure into it all.
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I am a guy and i have had the problem with some woman also. When i could get her to cum it was in the most exotica place you could think about. The first girl i had problems with getting her to cum was fucken really hard. The first place i got her to cum was on a staricase in a hotel. The second was in a airplane, etc. The second girl i didnt get her to cum for like a month of sex. So i looked into it and i found out it was me not the woman. Maybe it is the man. I found that i was cumming way to fast so i learnd how to keep it in. How long does your sex last with this guy? Know i am the one that doesnt cum. I can get her to cum twice in 15 mins and she has to stop becuase it hurts. So with me not being able to get a woman to cum was me cumming to fast. Maybe they cum to fast? Also if they dont just tell them to slow it down. Make love to the man, dont just let him fuck you. If there is a connection between you and him then your bodys will do the rest. I am not saying you cant cum by a stranger. I am just saying you will get so much more out of sex if you have sparks. I am also 19 btw. Also talk to them. tell them what makes you feel the best. After me and my gf started to talk about what she and i liked i become a sex god. She cant get enough out of me. She even told me that sometimes she doesnt want to have sex with me but she knows that as soon as we start she isnt going to regret it after. Just talk to them and see if you can cum becuase you arent done. And if they do cum and you are not done make that bitch get back on. That is what my gf does. I cum sometimes to early and she tells me that i better not even think about being done. So i get back on until she is done. it is fuckin the shit when a woman tells a man he isnt done. Try these and if that doesnt work the i dont know what to tell you other then i just might be that they suck really bad in bed no matter how good lookin they are or it is you.
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I understand where you are coming from in a way, only difference is ive never orgasmed period. I have gotten response over response whenever the question arises...and im just going to say good luck. its possible, but there are a number of factors involved. i doubt orgasm is really your problem. its probably due to the fact that you are not comfortable in the situation whether because of your body, expecations, afraid you will disappoint him (by not coming and he'll feel like a failure, ect. good luck on your sexual conquest!Also, a question to anyone, if it is the guys fault per chance. How do you fix it? My boyfriend get flustrated because he thinks hes under to much pressure to get me to orgasm, like if he can't do it he's a failure. (he asked what to do, i told him and I think it insulted him?) Is their another way to go about this?
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Well as a guy, i am telling you to tell him to stop being a bitch about it. Tell him that i said that. Tell him he isnt going to learn shit if he doesnt listen to you. Make that bitch know his place. I had to learn the hard way. Only in porn is a man in control in the bed room. We have not fuckin control. The bed room is for the woman. Tell him that he is going to learn from you and he needs to stop being a bitch about it and just be a man. I never cared when my ex told me how she wanted it. Hell it made me a much better lover know. Just dont give him to many directions becuse of the sound of him he isnt the sharpist tool in the shed. I am not either but i dont cry like a bitch when a woman tells me that i am doing something wrong in bed. Tell him he will grow from it. If he really wants to please you in the bedroom he will listen and learn for you. It also could be he is too small and you need bigger. I dont know how big he is but that could be it. But make him learn and you need to teach him. Also, you could try and take control of the sex. Get on him and do what you want. That could work also.
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its not the size, its a good size and the sex part is good...i was talking more about the foreplay. he loves blowjobs but on the recieving end i fall short. no guy has been able to get me off (i've been with 5 guys), so i really don't know if he is clueless as what to do, or if its me). Either way his last girlfriend loved when he went down on her and she always came, with me its different. I think this irritates him because with her he was great at it and me its like hes a newbie? I know girls react differently, but im starting to think it really is me. any tips that work with most girls that i could get him to try?
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I was in the same boat from the age of 15-19... Certainly things change within this time and I began to see myself in a different light (found myself a bit more comfortable with my body and was just more mature/less insecure in general). At 19 I was involved in a really deep, intense (yet volatile) relationship with a sexually passionate guy. I felt comfortable with him and the lovemaking was great! The energy between him and I was all-encompassing.. I believe it's a matter of finding that connection as well as a comfort level within oneself. Also, as men mature (hopefully) they place greater focus on pleasing the ladies. When a guy gets "too excited" and hussles thru the deal, it's a total turnoff... so, again could be a matter of passion/soul communion.I know how this feels... but I'm sure it will happen for you!My current upset is that I have never "came". Has anyone (females) ever seen this or have had this happen? Men? Have your women ever "came"?!
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Well with my experience in that feild isnt that big but i can tell you what i do(or dont do) Well with my ex i couldnt get her to cum for the longist time also. I couldnt get her to cum either while going down on her. We both didnt know why. Then we had sex. I would be down on her and makeing her feel good and scream. Just like he does. But i would be down there for like 5-10mins and nothin. She would get so worked up that she wouldnt ever let me finish down there she would tell me to fucker her. So i would and made her cum everytime(not kidding). I put some thought into why i could make her cum while inside her and dont with my hand. I though maybe it was becuase my dick was to big. I said no, i can get the same size and bigger with my fingers. So here it was. it is that when we have sex i wasnt trying to make her cum, all i wanted was to make her feel really good. Never cum, just feel like she is on cloud nine. When I would go down one here that was all in my head. "Got to make her cum, got to make her cum" I have learned if a man goes in for just that and trys to get her, she will not cum. Same for the woman. She cant go into it wanting to cum. I had to relax and so did she. And after we learned this i had no problem getting her to cum and know i am the one that cant cum.lol.