Today i went to the hospital to visit my uncle. About a year ago or maybe long he had a kidney transplant Well it rejected and now hes doing bad. Hes lost so much weight due to an infection he got. Well when i saw him it just rips me apart to see him like that. Hes like a baby all over again. He cant eat, talk, move, nothing. his immediate family, my cousins, aunt, etc have no money, i dont know how theyll afford all of this. Theyve always had money problems, but this time with the hospitalization itll be bad. But im rambling sorry, i just cant stop crying right now. Just laying in bed i cant get the image of him out of my head, him laying there, like he was just in the holocaust. my mom and aunts crying in the room. The thought of what my cousins must be going through. and then here i am, living in a wealthy neighborhood, bitching about stupid things. taking everything for granted that i have. the little things. breathing on my own, walking, eating, etc. i carelessly act lazy and dont want to do this or that. Theres people out there who would love to be able to go places, and i dont care to. i get bored sitting at home doing things others cant. What is wrong with me. i cant get myself to workout when others would give anything to do that. I come here yelling at people for stupid reasons, im an ass, im sorry to all if ive yelled, steve, everyone. I just feel so guilty i cant do nething to help them. i wish i could cure him i swear i with i could. theres so man little things in life we all take for granted and i just feel so guilty for doing that. And my ex, i start to think of her now because life is just to short. all these grudges people hold, why? our lives could all end in a day for all we know. this has no order at all im just going on, i cant even think straight, i cant fall asleep. i dont know what to do with myself nemore.....im sorry