Bullies...how to deal with them?

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Okay, I'm a skinny, short, little 13 year old boy. And like the title says, I GET BULLIED.Does anybody know of a good way to deal with these lousy brutes who have no care about life or what happens to them in the future?I'm trying my best...which, currently, is avoided them at all costs(Which isn't working too well )Anyways, has anybody else had problems with bullies and solved them? Because I need the help...P.S. I'm not having much problems with Self-esteem. I may be a skinny little geek that isn't good at sports, but I have straight A's, am in every advanced class available, and I am suprisingly good at physical endurance...

Plan ahead, bring some sort of recording device and record what they are doing to you. Then provide a copy to the principal and a copy to the polce.

Its not much you can record...one bullie tried to trip me with his gym bag, another threw a snowball at me, the next crumpled up my paper, aaaaand then one slapped me in the face.They never say much, and if its a camera, well, I don't think thats allowe.d

I know it would only make things worse to go to admin with unsubstantiated claims. But you really should. Because if you can later prove there is a problem and they did nothing they will be in quite a pickle. I don't suppose you can get a little camera that you can hide on your person? And screw them if it's not aloud. What exactly are they gonna do if you show them proof of what's going on? If they try to suspend you, and you told them of the problem before hand you can hire a lawyer, with or without your parents. You have a right to be safe.

Well theres the problem (i guess)It's really not THAT big of a deal...Not enough to hire a lawyer or take our camera to school...usually if the problem in gym, I can just talk to our couch and he will keep us seperated, for the day anyway.Its mostly in the halls...where there are no teachers. Lousy cowardly bullies...

Obviously, it is a big deal or you wouldn't be asking for help. I think you should deal with it. This will be something that will stay with you for a long time. But it's up to you.

Or maybe its not a totally big deal because I am sortof a drama queen...(king, whatever. -.-) I'm not really getting harmed...unless I get tripped and skin my elbows, but that doesn't count! lol

Okay. Like I said, it's up to you.

I will tell you the same thing I told my kids..Do not put up with their shit!They count on you cowering and not doing shit about it.The secret is that very few people really have any desire to fight, they just want to act tough.If they touch you or make a verbal threat its assault, touching leads to assault + Battery.Don't take more then half a second to bust them in their fucking lip.If its open I like to hit them in the throat, cant breath, cant fight. Simple as that.When I was in school I was always picked on and once in the bathroom in about 2nd grade someone turned off the lights and someone else pissed on me. I ran out crying and headed home. My dad was on shift work and so he ended up being home that day. Threw my ass in the tub and scrubbed me up new clothes and took me to school at lunch time.We sat in his truck and waited till the kid that did it came out side and i pointed him out thinking that my dad was going to take care of it and I would have justice!He tossed my ass out of the truck and told me to kick his ass or he was going to kick mine. I got my as kicked by the other kid and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.As I'm getting my ass beat the principal walks out and starts yelling and made the mistake of yelling at my dad. Made a worse mistake and threatened my dad and then pushed my dad, one punch and the principal was on the ground out cold.That one punch KO stuck with me the rest of my life. After that we spent weekends watching boxing and I learned to fight. Anytime anyone screwed with me I hit them, push me I hit you, trip me I hit you, fuck with me period I hit you. No one really wants to fight so when your willing to fight all the time when someone picks on you people learn to not fuck with you.by High school though everyone wanted to fight me. "Heard you were tough" WACK. That sorta shit so you cant take it too far but if your attacked you have to fight back, just as important you have the right to defend yourself. my sophomore year I had been in at least 3 fights a week and I was walking down the hall between classes heading to my locker I got grabbed from behind and stuck in the garbage can full of the spit from the cowboys chew where those dip shits always stood against the wall ans spit in this one garbage can. I got out of it and started hitting people at random since i didn't know who it was exactly that put me in but they were all laughing so I hit everyone I could. A hand grabbed me and threw me against he wall face first so I turned around and swung and hit my principal, he was a big tall bastard, square in the nuts, he went to his knees and I busted him in the throat then the jaw, spit on him and walked off. After that NO ONE wanted to fuck with me again till about my senior year.I cant really recommend fighting all the time, I'm 34 now and hurt all the time, wrist, neck, back, skull. I had many many injuries and broken bones and I pay for each of them every day now. You cant be a bully and you cant go around looking for trouble and walking around with a chip on your shoulder like I did but you have to learn to stand up for yourself.Sorry, I'm rambling now, the point is stand up for yourself and an ass kicking never hurts as bad as you think its going to, with a few exceptions that hurt me worse then I thought they might, but you can not let people shit on you. you have the right to defend yourself. Alot of people on this board disagree with me and tell me fighting is bad and wrong and blah blah blah, they have their opinion and I have mine.The good news is that after school is over, the real world doesn't screw with you as much as the school world does. Fights become less and less often and even instances of people being ignorant stupid assholes nearly ceases.Thats it, My late dinner is done I need some grub, take what you will from it and follow my advice or don't, its just my opinion you need to form your own.

Okay. Maybe I'll try to talk to the teachers more but thats it. Thanks for the help.

Woah everyone relpied after my post.I'm not much of a fighter...I'm not going to fight back. I'm a good kid, and as long as I don't fight back, I don't get in trouble (self defense is against the rule -.-)And, um, I try my best to ignore them. Gym bag kid, I turned around and called him a coward, then walked off.In my head I plan the discussion to say to them, but its SO HARD."Pick on someone your own size and weight, coward!"

I agree you shouldnt take shit from neone. I used to get bullied, and that all stopped when i faught back. i dont put up with anyones crap, if they swing at me ill break their fuckin legs. maybe thats just cuz im italian, hmmmm

Yeah do not take their shit. I am not an advocate for outright fighting, but if they hit you it is open season. I haveonly ever fought someone on the football field and well that was ugly. If they do that confront them and show that you are not a weenie, and if they kick your ass, well you have your physical evidence that they are assualting you. Does not mean you cannot fight back, I mean self defense.

Wow guys can you ease up on the language a bit lolTo the original poster, my first few days/weeks in a public high school was pretty rough because my friends and I used to be bullied but in a different way where we were sort of taken advantage of. And I know how you feel it stinks. I would say tell your parents, but when that was happening to me I was hesitant to tell them. You need to stick up to them. But not in a way where it will get you hurt more. But make them back off. I suggest you take self-defense classes. My school has a self-defense class specifically for younger teens or girls due to the numerous amount of gangs and stuff. So that helped me alot and people back off when they see you can protect yourself. If it gets out of hand, tell a superior authority. Parents, teachers, police. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Good luck.

Well in my own defense, I did warn him of what happens with the fighting, but I was in a hurry to get a late dinner! I hadn't ate today since i was busy most of the afternoon then had a meeting to attend and getting a kid to and from basketball practice and my 7 pm dinner following a 1pm lunch got pushed to a 930 dinner and a no existent lunch! I was starved man! the smacking the principal got me expelled and I did the rest of the school year at the alternative High for rotten bastard kids, made my parents proud let me tell ya got my ass kicked at home too.Iv said before I have a sickness, I like violence, I like hitting people and I seem to have a partial enjoyment of pain, you have to be a bit fucked up to get into boxing.I don't advocate all out assault for no good reason but by fuck Ill stand up for myself or my friends and family any day of the week.The one thing I can not be accused of is not having the courage of my convictions.and like I said Iv been stabbed 2 times shot once 3 broken noses a broken jaw 2 skull fractures 3 broken wrists on my left arm and 2 on my right, a lovely set of ceramic teeth on my top front (4 teeth) that are now drilled and permanently set into place y anchoring them to my skull, a couple of broken legs, one set of broken metatarsals in my right foot, I don't know how many times each of my fingers have been broken and many broken toes, 11 broken ribs total but 4 of them were the same ones broken more then once. All the injuries add up, they pain me every damned day of my life and I thought when I got them the pain was gone as I healed, its not it comes back later on. My Chiropractor took his xrays and the surgeon who did my shoulder did cat scans, they have never seen permanent injuries like mine aside form pro boxers and sever car wreck victims, and I have been in a few car wrecks but never my fault! and not all of it is from fighting, some from work, some from play, some from fights, some from stupid shit that seemed like a good idea at the time.You cant go around and just fight all the time and start shit just to start shit but I believe in standing up for whats important.Once you stand up for yourself people generally do not wan tot abuse you any more, they only feed you shit until you stop eating it and feed it back to them.

p.s. I really hope you're not actually going to tell on them... it'll just make things worse and make you look like a pussy. What a stupid pathetic peice of advice, im sure the parents who's children have killed themselves, because they felt BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT THEY COULDNT' TELL ANYONE WHAT WAS GOING ON would totally agree huh.............NO one has to put up with bullying, and other people CAN help, you can't go through life keeping it all bottled up, not telling anyone, that how fucking bullies get away with it...........so many kids commit suicide cos they didn't know where to turn, and felt they couldn't tell anyone cos of what people would think of them. YOU have to grow up and live in the real world where everything isn't all about macho bullshit.To the OP, bullies, bully to get a reaction, so don't react, as hard as it can be, they will get bored and move onto someone else, unfortunatly. If it gets worse and physical violence happens then i agree with chance, hit them back, i don't advocate violence but sometimes its the only 'language' bullies understand.I always tell my children, to remember, that bullies are people who are incredibly unhappy inside, probably bullied at home by parents etc, and who play that out at school, try to make themselves look good by belittling others............I feel sorry for bullies, but there is no excuse for what damage they do to the kids they choose to bully.You don't have to put up with it, and its fine to talk to someone about it, even if its just to get a bit of advice, and not to take action, it will help.

You seem a very sensible person, pyrotek. Bullies are individuals, and they don't all have the same motivation and the same techniques don't work in every case. I agree with you that reporting them in this case is not the best approach. It's something that is necessary in very bad cases, but in minor cases it diminishes your reputation, puts you at more risk, and usually teachers can't do anything.

Fighting back is only effective if you are a reasonable fighter. Learning some self-defence is a very good idea anyway, but some people will always be more effective fighters than others.

Helms points out that bullies are often doing it for the reaction you give them, so taking it with as much good humour as you can, and not showing that you are upset, can help break the cycle.

In my case I was bullied partly because they were reacting to my attitude. I considered myself superior to other people - without meaning to be arrogant, I was - and other people (understandably) don't like that attitude and reacted to it. It took me a very long time to learn that, but when I did, and treated other people as equals, I got on with people much better. I don't know if that has any relevance to your situation - you are not me - but I wonder.

It can certainly help to try to be friendly with people who persecute you. It's not the reaction they are expecting, and though there are no guarantees, I know that it can work.

I used to get bullied like hell in school. I got called names, I had my things taken off me etc.. I never told anyone. One day I just snapped and really hit this girl hard, she pissed me off one to many times. I'm pretty strong but I don't like to use it unless I have to. I never got bullied again! I know I should have told someone looking back... but at the time noone ever saw them doing it, they would have known I'd told someone and I think it would have got worse.

Im really surprised how many of you are saying people should tell someone if they are getting bullied, im horrified, no one should have to put up with it, and especially in the schools around me, teachers and head teachers are very pro-active on stopping bullying.I worked with a lady whose son committed suicide because he was too scared to tell anyone, because of recriminations, and he felt he had no way out, and he was only 15, she, like me feels that if he had told her, and things had got worse, etc she would have pulled him from school and he would undoubtably still be alive today...........

i can relate to this since i was at the same exact position as u when i was 13, what did it for me was confidence, if a bully picks on you dont ignore him, insult him back, if he start pushing you push back, most bullies depend on their "prey" not to fight back because they are intimidated. When you are walking in the halls for example walk confident. Also its a good idea to get a group of friends when in school so the bully cant pick on you when your in a group. All this advise has worked for me.