Can't Orgasm during sex/blowjob

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Hey guys,

I've been with my girlfriend for the past two years, and around three months ago we started having sex. The first time, she was too "tight," so it didn't quite work, but the second time, I was unable to ejaculate. We tried for about ten minutes, but we both got tired, and it still kind of hurt for her, so she did not reach orgasm either. She then gave me a blowjob, because she felt "bad," but after another ~10 minutes, we gave up because I still didn't cum.

It felt great, and I felt like I was going to cum, but I didn't. The next time she gave me head, the same thing happened. She came over last night, but I hadn't jacked off for 4 days, anticipating the same problem. She did give me head, but once again, I did not orgasm.

I precum a lot, but never reach orgasm. I can jack off just fine, and it actually doesn't take long at all. Maybe I can't orgasm because I use too much pressure when jacking off? After she left, I masturbated (becuase of blue balls), and I came very quickly, considering my level of horiness and the length of time it had been since my last orgasm.

I am uncircumcised, and I can fully retract, but it is a little tight. Though, when I retract when I am with her, I am usually "wet" enough from precum so it doesn't hurt. I do masturbate without retracting though, so maybe thats why I can't get anything out of a blowjob/sex? My head is sensitive, but I find that masturbating not retracted is much more comfortable and better feeling then when it is retracted.

I also think a lot about cumming, because I'm worried that I won't. Still, it's strange. Last night, I started masturbating myself while she was there, and then she'd go down on me when I felt like I was about to cum, but even after three consecutive tries, it doesn't work.

I'm not really sure where I should proceed from here, so I'm posting. My girlfriend is very OK with the situation; shes very understanding and knows how frustrating this is for me. Does anyone have any ideas?

Thanks!

That happens with my boyfriend too. He just dosen't orgasm. It also happens with me. When my boyfriend does oral sex to me, I don't orgasm either. As a matter a fact, it dosen't even feel good for me! I think I have problem too.

Some guys just cannot get off by oral sex. I am one of them. Agreed it feels great but for some reason I just cannot cum. I put it down as a few things:

1. I am used to the sensation of masturbating. My body is used to the pressure I use when masturbating there for causing issues when receiving oral sex. When masturbating I concentrate more of the shaft and not the head which I think causes part of my issue.

2. The pressure of trying to cum when getting oral sex. I worry too much about wanting to cum from my partner that I actually cannot do it. Stressing over something will usually result in a negative outcome.

A "solution" people try is to basically stop masturbating all together until you body gets used to cuming from oral sex. Basically retraining your system.

Thank you VERY much for your post. I think both things you mentioned applies to me. I too when masturbating focus on the shaft, rather then the head, and since this is rather contradicting to oral, it feels great, but something I don't really enjoy to the point of orgasm.I didn't masturbate for four days before, but I guess next time I'll try a week plus. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.