I haven't really dated anybody yet since i have an issue that i may not be "good enough" for girls...so i restrict my crushes to friends only which is affecting my social life and my ability to flirt. I really want to know what sex with another person is like but i'm just afraid...To tell you the truth i really don't know how to flirt that well...I am a shy guy who likes to be indoorsy but wants to be outdoorsy, who just wants to find the right one for me...Could it be my shallowness/shyness/lack of confidence that is preventing my ability to date?
Virgin guy afraid of dating/sex...
Flirting is not the be all and end all of everything. Some people flirt a lot, some people don't, and just because you don't, or think you don't doesn't mean that a girl won't be interested in you.You say you want to be outdoorsy, why? because you think that girls want the outdoor, sporty type. Well thats not necessarily true, just as you like to be indoorsy, there will be girls how feel the same, we arn't alien creatures you know, well maybe LOLThe most attractive thing in someone, for me anyway, is personality and confidence. I bet you have some really great things about you, you don't have to try and be someone you're not to get people to like you, in fact, for me, fake people are the worst! There is no point trying to be someone else just to get a girl, you will have to keep up the pretence all the time you are with her, and she won't be with YOU she will be with who she thinks you are, and thats rubbish.If you want to be outdoorsy, for yourself, then thats great, but don't change to please, try and learn the great things about you, and have confidence in yourself and that you are a good person. That confidence with shine through and thats whats attractive.
hi, i totally understand your problem. I dont have this problem, but my friend, DID! (notice how i capitalized did) I gave her my advice, and she was well on her way. Let me ask you something first, Think this to yourself, or (this helps me) type what you think of as yourself. Do you find yourself too dorky? too fat? Too manythings wrong with you? too manythings wrong with your personal life, so you might think it will interfear? Because, I bet, that inside of you, you really can flirt, and one day, you will know alot more about everything than you do now.
My buddie sort of did the same thing. She was really shy, and didnt know what to say in front of boys, so she thought she isnt good enough for them, and never will be, so if she even tried to talk to them, she would make a fool of herself. Now, I am NOT! trying to tell you to change your personality, but maybe, you can change your appearence to boost up your confidence. (omg, i hate this. Every time i wear an uncomfartable shirt, my confidence level goes waaayy down) so maybe ur shy because you dont have enough confidence. One of my other girlfrind's i have known since kindergarden, is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaalllyyy shy, she is afraid to talk to any one esle but her friends. She is always afriad, that, maybe, if she talks to the wrong person, they will think she is just a big old loser. Well, hear this... WHO THE HELL CARES IF THEY THINK YOU ARE A LOSER!!!!!!!!! i used to be super shy, and here i am today... chear leader, (I HATE THIS WORD SO FUCKING MUCH!!) "popular", many friends, and becuzz i have my confidence boosted up, then i am more outgoing. That way, more people think of me as some one you want to hang out eith becuzz you know you'll have fun. But, the best part is, is i never made any huge changes in my personality. I was nice, loyal, trustworthy, (a follower =(((( sucked), and now, i am still nicer, loyal, trustworthy, but now i am a leader. I never made big changes in my personality. The only changes that ever happened to me, was i became 1) more outgoing 2)happier 3) becuz of my positive actions, i have less worrying about more things than before. Once you have mastered being more positive and confident, (in some cases) flirting comes naturally to you. BUT! dont start to think that you are too good for people and start slacking off!! still be happy, accept people for who they are and how they think about you, and, dont limit yourself. There are so many girls out there who dont even know you! (not necesserily the gals from ur yearbooks) but there are a whole bunch of people around the world, who will never get a chance to meet you. (hah, sux for them)see, like me. I probably wont ever meet you, along with 5678987654345678765432345678987654321`23456789876773662723878427567 other girlzz =) so if you find this helpful, use some trix i put down. my hand hurts, so i prabably forgot what else to type, so i will type it some other time.... bubi!!!
~ =-=-=~ ~=-=-= ORiSiA
Do you think your good enough??
Lack of confidence has to be a big part of it, in my opinion. Having gone through something like this myself a few years ago, I know how hard it is to try and meet people out of the cirle of friends that you are already comfortable with.It takes a lot to reach deep down inside and realize that you are who you are, and there WILL be people who will apreciate you for that. Finding them is what we call "dating."About the sex, don't worry. Most guys may not come out and say that they're nervous or fear sex for the first time, but from personal experience, a good number of them feel that way.
Btw, flirting usually comes natural. While you do it, just try to be yourself and not to go places you don't want to...it's sometimes easy to get carried away...
If you want I'll skip the flirting and give you guarnteed pick up lines.
Try "Sometimes, I feel our two souls connect with eachother on another plane of living. I really just want to stay up all night with you talking about your hopes, dreams, and asperations".
And if they can't understand that, they probably weren't the brightest bulb in the box anyway, just a pretty face. Sounds like a lot of women I know...