I met this girl through a web forum who lives in Germany. For over a year now we have talked regularly on msn, really regularly like every night sometimes. We've been there for each other through so much. I have had feelings for and her and cared for her for ages now. Of course I've never met her and I am struck with this feeling of being a fool whenever I allow myself to think that I love her. However its not an unfair descriptions of the emotions I have for her, something its taken me a while to admit. I've realised my inability to feel strongly emotionally attatched to anyone I meet is because of her. I'v had girlfriends while I've known this girl, but I didnt feel anything close to love for them (not to say I expect to feel love for all girls I go out with anything, I'm not that naive). My feelings have grown and grown and think about her so much when we dont get to talk and I think of her most everynight as I fall asleep (not in a dirty way). This isnt something thats happened recently. This has been prolonged and continued for ages. I reckon she has similar feelings towards me, maybe not as strong as mine feelings but she really cares for me and is always so concerned for me and I'm sure she finds me attractive.I dont speak my feelings to her, and if she has them for she doesnt speak them to me. We do have very deep emotional conversations. We also flirt, though it never gets real dirty, she a good a girl really, in a way thats really unusual nowadays. Everything between us is expressed without ever being spoken out. And the sexual tension is as thick as butter, which is both fun and frustrating, as it should be I guess.She wnats to meet me, she mentioned about me going over for her birthday in August. I need to geta job first goddammit . I will go over and see her eventualy, thats a dead certain. Thing is I'm really scared of that. I'm scared first that in real life I wont be who she thinks I am, and I'm scared she wont be who I thought she was. I'm scared we wont have the same spark. I did actualy once meet and start to ahve feelings for a girl over the web, but she lived in the same village and after a couple of months we met up and started going out so that was simpler. Heh theres more complications between me and this girl in germnay to boot, but I shant spell em out...I'll stick to whats mentioned above.Anyone else ever been through anything like this? I'm willing to accept this could all end in tears and that you cnat entirely judge soemone by how they are on web, but me and this girl, we have gotten very deep.
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Strong feelings for girl I met online
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My apologiese for making such a long post, but any helpful response would be really appreciated.
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Hmmm, I am always scared the person on the other end is really a rapist/murderer.
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well if you two are there for each other and you have seen what this girl looks like then you are all set. Just relax, and keep talking to her mainly by phone if you can.
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In reply to:
Hmmm, I am always scared the person on the other end is really a rapist/murderer.
She used to joke that to me hehe. We have known each other so long, seen a million photographs and I've spoken to one of her friends from school, aswell as have mutual friend sonline.
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Talking by phone is too expensive from country to country for someone still in education like me.
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If you both have broadband (dial-up is so-so), you can do PC-to-PC calls. It works pretty well.
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interesting, I'll look into it. But anyway commniction isnt really the issue here. Infact i think we'd have accent problems on phone...my voice is a mongrelised Welsh-Southern English, now developing certain touches of Yorkshire, while she speaks Tamil at home, English at school (its an international school) and German around town so she has also has a rather odd linguistic make-up.
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In reply to:
I'm scared first that in real life I wont be who she thinks I am, and I'm scared she wont be who I thought she was. I'm scared we wont have the same spark.
To be honest, that's a reasonable fear. There are gaps in our knowledge of people we only know online, and we tend to fill them with our imagination in ways that aren't very realistic. Nevertheless, if the relationship is going to progress, you need to take your chances and get to know her more fully. It may be disappointing, but she may be better than you could imagine. Until you meet, you won't know.
BTW, you should be able to speak cheaply, either through the Net, or with phonecards. Here phonecards are available that have very cheap calls - they make all the money on the cards' expiring before the money is used up.
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Yeah I get ya man, thanks.That you met your fiance over the web shows it can work.Your right about keeping things in perspective, I cnat even be 100% certain she has sma efeelings for me as I have for her. I'm not willing to come out with my strongest feelings until I meet her.You talk about loving her and being IN LOVE with her. I know what I consider to be the difference bwteen those two things but people use it in a variety of different ways. Would you care to evaluate?
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Awww:) Love ya too hun!
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In my opinion, i would NEVER meet someone online. Its not only to dangerous, but you dont know what your getting yourself into. take this as a personal experience
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Hey Young Lad.I just want to tell you that I fully understand how you can develop a humungous "bond" while talking online. I don't see my girl much at school, but we talk forever online daily. Whenever I can't talk to her online or we don't talk for a while, I seem to get very sad and depressed. So, from personal experience, I can validate that yes, you can get emotionally close and feel some sort of caring and understanding for them, but you can't love them through just talking to them. Love involves so much more than just talking a lot. It involves touch and feeling (not thinking dirty) as well as eye sight. I mean, it's so much easier to fall in love with someone if you can have them by your side when you're feeling down, cuddle with them, or look into their beautiful eyes. And I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but maybe she talks to you a lot because you have developed into a really good friend? Maybe no one else talks to her as much as you do, and because of that, she enjoys talking to you? Like I said above, I know all this from personal experience myself.
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I met my now hubby online, we talked on the phone for a bit, and then he came up to see me and the kids, and never left!He says he loved me before we met, so i can understand where you are coming from. He would stand outside the pub on the phone to me, while his mates were inside LOL bless him!You can voice chat, using a mic through msn and yahoo and it doesn't cost anything, so you two should be able to chat easily.
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In reply to: Whoa there big guy...hold yer horses! Don't be telling her about these strong "feelings" that you have when you meet her! You'll scare the crap out of her!! If you want this thing to work, like any other relationship, you need to take your time. Don't show all your cards at once, rather play them out keeping the most powerful ones for when the time is right. No man, you hold YOUR horses and quell the dark forces of presumption. I didnt say it would be the first time I meet her. Its not like I was planning to to walk off the plane and tell her I love her. My whole point is that I need to meet her first so that I know for sure I love her in the real as much as online. I was thinking if I do progress our relationship in that way I would wait til she's finished school. She's comming to university in the UK boogieBut thanks for your advice. You know your shit.
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In reply to: And I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but maybe she talks to you a lot because you have developed into a really good friend? Maybe no one else talks to her as much as you do, and because of that, she enjoys talking to you? Like I said above, I know all this from personal experience myself. There is no bubble. I myself already stated that as a possibility. But yeah its cool you understand. I dont think its so uncommon nowadays which is cool I guess. In reply to: Hey Young Lad. Thats Strapping to you hehe
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Yeah thats comforting.
I'm really not bothered about voice chat or phone. I think we would have serious accent problems. People face to face her ein Leeds have enough trouble understanding my accent. I'll found out what her vooice sounds like when we meet :smile:
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u shud talk to her. mention that u have feeling for a girl (not saying who) nd she doesnt know that u like her. make it seem like its someone else. get her advice nd then take it. she'll prob. say "u shud tell her" nd then wait a day, nd say "remember that girl, wel its u" or something else but if u REALLY love her, she needs to know. girls hate it wen guys dont tell them if they like her.
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In reply to: humungous Oh dear lord, how old are you? I haven't heard that word in almost a decade!!! HAHAHAHA
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oh manthe problem with this sort of thing is that you only converse with her, you are not really with her if that makes sense-- meaning that you do not really "know" her, and instead you quasi-know how she is like and you are using your imagination to "fill in the rest" creating this perfect person. I dont know if that made sense, but what Im trying to say, people have an idea of how they think and want the person to be even before actually meeting them.I suppose good could come from it....Nothing awful could happen except you realizing shes not the person you thought she was, which would break your heart and send you spiraling into depressionIf things indeed do turn grisly just remember:Play a game allow her to pass the testChase her down let her have a chance to catch her breathGrab a techPop her in her ass and chestMake a withdrawal and cash the checkOr you could just leave quietly
