Hi, so how do you slow down a guy? Have had sex with my boyfriend recently but he came after about 2/3 mintues. I've read in one or two other threads to use the stop/go method but I think that would frustrate me as I was really getting into it the other nite and (I think) on my way to an orgasm. I joked with him after that I'd get a dildo which didn't go down well and well I think I'd prefer the feeling of him inside me (which is so good) rather than some plastic yoke.We're both pretty inexperienced as he is my first sexual partner and me his 2nd. He says he can't help it as I turn him on so much which is sweet and all but I want an end result too. Any advice on cooling him/slowing him down a bit would be appreciated, thanks!
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Cumming too quickly/Slowing him down
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I joked with him after that I'd get a dildo which didn't go down well That is probably the worst thing you could have said to him. There's a good chance that you screwed with his mind since that comment is probably going to stick in his head for quite a while and can destroy the guys confidence. It definitely didn't help and probably made it worse.The "stop and go" method should be done through masturbation and not through sex. You can help him but your "satisfaction" shouldn't even be in teh picture when doing this.
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oh really, oh no. Shit now I feel really really terrible.Suppose I didn't realise how that comment might make him feel. The "stop and go" method should be done through masturbation and not through sex. You can help him but your "satisfaction" shouldn't even be in teh picture when doing this. You make it sounds like I'm selfish but I make sure my boyfriend is enjoying it and make sure what I'm doing when giving oral or hand job is good/pleasurable. I'm always wanting to make him happy.
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You make it sounds like I'm selfish No I didn't mean it that way. The stop and go method is like a therapy, where he learns to hold back and know when he is about to orgasm. My point was that you need to separate the "therapy" from the sex.
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Well I think he knows that as he says he won't cum in my mouth (until I want him to). Its when he's inside me...he goes a bit nuts.. I guess because we've only started having sex it may take him a while to calm down and last for longer?
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fYou really think that??Seriouslyf, we got dildos and vibes that are in our sexual funtimes all the time. I rather like fucking her with one an I like watching her fuck herself with one while shes blowing me.fucking her iwth one before oral sex I always considered foreplay before the real sex. I never felt threatend by having one in the bedroom, shit I paid for most of them. If hes young I can understand him being intimidated by the thought of a dildo until after ones involved I cant imagine him feeling bad about it any longer and think he probaly would enjoy it. I can only speak from my own experience, any maybe Im just a sick fuck, but I rather enjoy having sex toys involved in four own bedroom romps.
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You really think that??Sure, why not? If someone can't last more than a couple minutes during intercourse and the female is obviously frustrated and then she "jokingly" suggests that she get a dildo. She is indirectly saying, I can use the dildo to finish myself off becasue you can't do the job.It's totaly different if the sexual relationship is mutually satisfactory and toys are added to the mix.
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After you have a little more practice, I'm sure he will start to last longer. Otherwise, you should just hang out for a while, kiss, and then have sex again. The key is to just relax and have fun. If necesary, there are many ways that you can entertain yourselves while waiting for him to become hard again.For me, it is not unusual for the first time of the evening to be rather quick. However, I can usually last as long as I want after the second or third time.
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i agree with sdpif my girlfriend mentioned a dildo right after we had sex, i would be humiliated beyone belief, and feel less of a man bc i cant finish and she needs something else...
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if my girl said that to me i would be so hurt.
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You may feel hurt, but is up to you not to go so wild. No wonder he cant help ejaculation, he is going way to fast. Hinting a dildo to him may make him realize that women needs more than a couple min to satisfy. Hell a quicky for me is at least 7-10 min. Regular sex about 20 min - 40 min. Making love can last for hours. Its up to him to take control of himself.
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Ok, here's a thought. I'm still a virgin mind you (for the time being), but I realize that I am a bit...short fused. I know that, and I've thought about what the results of that may be. I figure over time, I'll get better with that. Until then, I plan to focus on manual and oral stimulation more first. Get her close or off entirely before the main event. That way, even if I do run the mile in 1 minute flat, she won't be as disappointed. Basically, my point is, encourage other forms of stimulation. Also, encourage other stimulations while you are in the act, like have him suck your nipple or either of you stimulating the clit, can help you get off sooner, possibly even with him.
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I believe Trojan and others have de-sensitiser condoms that will make it so that he will take a bit longer, though I am not sure on how much longer.
Maybe just going nice and slow? Although, fast and rough is fun.
Well, I wish you two luck.Take care.
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suggest a cock ring to him, they feel good, its a bit of fun, and some have vibrators on them too which feel amazing! Try http://www,sexisland.co.uk, i get mine from there, started with one, now have a little family!
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The start/stop method is extremely helpful. Continue to do this through masturbation. Also, it's a good idea to get him to bring you to orgasm or very close to orgasm before he gets inside of you. That way, you get yours and he'll get his then both of you are happy. I make this pretty much a habit, I bring her close to orgasm and then I get inside, or I'll make her orgasm first beforehand. Personally, I just do this for fun because I usually get her to cum 3 times before I cum once or we cum together when she's cumming the 4th time.
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I'm guessing hes on top. Try it with you on top, and dont do like freaky positions. That seems to help.