One really big problem

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one thing is really making me unhappy,okay, wen i was between ages 7-9, i cant remember which, my younger female cousin was about 3...i think. or 4. we all went round to visit once. and all i remember of it was this, i took my little cousin into a room, and i kissed her on the cheek. like, with no one around, and kind of hiding her. now, this doesnt sound so bad, but its really creepy if you think about it. i dont know why i did it, im not attracted to my cousin, but since my grandmas funeral when i saw her again ive been guilting and stressing about it insanely. i want to tell my mom to clear my conciensce, but im scared if i do ill ruin things between us.please help!-AK

You should see a psychiatrist about that. If you really feel that it is detrimental to you. If all you did was kiss....well just go see a professional to help you out.

well, it doesnt bother me much. i kissed her like once. i just want to tell my mom. i feel guilty for not telling my mum, not for pecking my cousin on the cheek. ill admit in a creepy setting, but its mostly that my mom dont know.

Hmm then tell her. Since it was a peck on the cheek I am not thinking it is that big of a deal.

well, i cant find the words, so to speak.

just tell her what happened. Those are the best words.

kids have done worse things together.

Hi Africa, I imagine you were curious - you'd seen this romantic stuff on the TV and you wanted to try it out. It's not a big thing - I'm sure if a friend confessed this to you, you'd advise that it wasn't anything worth worrying about.

The real issue, I think, is why this looms so large for you now - why you feel so much stress and guilt. We all have things in our past that we wish we hadn't done, but once we've extracted the lesson not to do them again, they are best left in the past. Sometimes bringing them up again is not a good idea, but in this case I can't see anyone pulling their hair out. If you bring it up I don't think anyone will consider it more than an anecdote of "little-kid" days.

yeah...but there where the more recent incidents, like when i was 12 i think, i jacked off when i was on a top bunk and my grandma was below. and frequently, when i was 10,12, i think some of 13, i became sexually frustrated around my naive family friend, who was of the same age. this kid didnt pick up on things too quick ( not special needs, just a little out of it ) and i would sometimes fall on top of him on purpose or wrestle him and stuff. im not bisexual, and id never do that weird crap now, but it bothers me. i cant tell my mom though, even though im normal now and have no feelings like i did then.

It was part of your growing up. If someone else did it you wouldn't be hard on him, would you - so don't be hard on yourself.