URGENT HELP - My Friend
Can someone please help me
My friend has been suicidal for a while now, he planned on commiting suicide last week, and just told me he's going to try it again and that he's sorry.
I have tried everything, ive told him how much he means to me etc and ive tried to get him along to see a GP, I'm no shrink, i have no idea wat to do, nothing i say ever gets through to him...
Wat do i do?
If you know exactly when, you will of course do everything you can to stop it, preferably by turning up yourself. But if you don't know exactly when, it's difficult. Getting someone involuntarily committed to a mental hospital because they are in imminent danger of suicide is possible, but it will end the friendship and it's a last resort.Sometimes all you can do is be there for your friend when he needs someone to talk to.
thankyouthe situation is difficult because i dont know where he lives, and i dont know his parents at all so i cant contact them, and they dont know he's depressed or anything...He's not replying to any of my msgs so i just pray that he doesnt do anything tonight...I feel like ive done everything i can, but, i dont know if i should keep on msging him or whether i should leave it for today...
Is this someone you only know through messaging? If it is, there isn't a whole lot you can do. Normally I would say to tell someone - parent, teacher, whoever - but if you only know him from online, you can't really do that.
You've probably done about all you can do. So you need to protect yourself by letting yourself off the hook. He's not your responsibility. You can't save him. It's not your job. So if you've done all you can do and he still decides to "do it", you have to understand it's not your fault.
Thankyou for your helpHe is actually a friend, but we dnt go to the same school so we email and sms eachother everyday.He sent me a msg late last night saying that he's sorry and that he's ok and that he'll talk the next day. So at least i know he's alive for another day.I've been really pushing him to see a GP and try to make a change in his 'life sux' philosophy.From this point on, im going to stop trying to talk about the issue, stop trying to make him go to the doctor, and just see if he brings it up etc there is seriously nothing more i can say... i guess i just have to be there.Thanx for ur help, ive been suicidal before, but ive never had to deal with the pain of a friend wanting to do it.Thankyou for taking the time to reply.
I think you're spot on about not talking to him about the suicide stuff anymore - that is if he's over it.But know what you could do that would help? Just engage him in conversation about normal stuff that you know juices him. Maybe something that you have some interest in that he is very knowledgeable about.I went to my buddy's joint last week so he could help me with a project for class. He has been through it recently and that day he was really bad. He told me he almost checked himself back into the psych ward. So I let him talk and process a bit and that was helpful. But what was really helpful was when I got him talking about models of therapy and dealing with different client populations and such. He knows a lot about the deal and got really juiced talking about it. By the time I left him, he was actually doing really well and was hopeful and appreciative. I got a big ol manly hug out of it.
thanx again damien, thats what i plan on doingIts hard to talk about something else when he just tells me out of the blue, i feel like shit, i want to die etc etc etcBut wat ur saying is very true, if i can't help him by talking about the problem (which looks like its making it worse) then ill try to distract him from it.Thankyou
You need to tell someone whether It's a school councillor, parent etc. You could risk losing a friend in the process but it's better than him ending up dead.
i understand leelee, thankyou for ur suggestion.The school councellor knows about the situation and talks to him regularily, but doesnt seem to help, and i dont think they can tell the parents...Things are looking ok at the moment, but im definetely fearing his next 'turn'but thankyou for the suggestion
Actually, if a school counselor has reason to believe a student might hurt themselves, they have an obligation to notify the parents. Confidentiality is suspended if a client is in danger of hurting himself or someone else.
