Ok, there is a girl who I've known for about a year... but only in the last couple months have we started to really enjoy eachothers company (talking everyday, going out as friends) She constantly is talking about how her current boyfriend is so immature (even tho he is 2 years older than me) and how it pisses her off that he doesn't consider her his girlfriend. My question is do you think she just wants somebody to make her feel good at this point in time, or if she is actually is interested in me... I personally think I should not seem too interested, but still keep in contact. It seems if I do that she might get a little more interested because it's worked for some friends before. Please, I need some advice! Thanks everybdoy! :blush:
-
Typical question about a girl
-
I think she just enjoys bitching about her bf and you are there to listen. This doesn't seem like more than she just considers you a friend and trusts you enough to say this stuff. I doubt that making a move would be the smartest move, especially if her bf is 2 years older than you.
-
Damn, that sucks. Well, at least I found out from you guys first... I guess I'm just gonna distance myself so that she realizes I'm not just a cuddle bitch, and hopefully things will change, but I doubt it. Thanks again!
-
When I was the cuddle bitch, I tried the distance thing and it didn't work for me because I started talking to her again after a month nothing. It might work if you continue to stay away from her and let her approach you. If she asks why you've been ignoring her, just flat out put it down on the table that you want to be more than just friends and being just friends is like lying to yourself.This situation reminds of the saying, "Play with fire and you'll get burned". Don't be afraid to walk away.
-
Yeah, the last couple days she called and the first day I didn't answer, yesterday I answered and said I couldn't talk. Now, she's called twice today and I'm not answering. I'm just waiting for her to ask what's wrong, and then the truth will come out... Any other input would be appreciated, thanks everybody!
-
Eh... excuse me for asking, but how is she supposed to ask if there is something wrong if you won't talk to her?
-
Smart thinking, but it's not to that point, yet... She is used to talking to me everyday and for the past 2 days that hasn't happened, so either today or tomorrow I'll answer, and hope that she asks. I don't know, the more and more I think about it it seems I'm just the cuddle bitch, so it feels kinda good not to let her have the satisfaction.
-
Well you must remember that apart form being the cuddle bitch, you are still her friend. Try not to forget that.
-
Yeah, I know. That's what makes this whole situation even worse; I'm really starting to like her and if I'm just a cuddle bitch why bother, but now I'm a good friend to her but I just can't say c-ya and be a dick. I don't know, it's a weird feeling
-
If a woman tells a man about her man... It's a good signal. Look at her words about him as at advices of your behavior.
-
That's what I've been thinking the whole time, but it's so hard to tell with girls... Thanks again for the advice!
-
In reply to: Well you must remember that apart form being the cuddle bitch, you are still her friend. Try not to forget that. That reminds me of the girl I was a cuddle bitch to. She used to say things like,"why do I have to suffer because you fell in love with me, I didn't do anything"blah blah blah blah blah. She said a lot of things. Years later, here I am today... and when I look back, I think of it this way.If she's a true friend, she'll understand that you need some time for yourself. And if she realizes that her being around you makes you miserable, then if she's your true friend then she can walk away. Unfortunately, there aren't many women who can walk away from a "great" friendship. If the friendship is so great, then date the guy!After talking to several older women about this subject, I've found something in common among them all. All of them have had close guy friends, and at one point the guy started to like them... but they were just friends and they didn't see the guy "that way". Besides, they were afraid that a relationship would mess up a great friendship. And now, they aren't friends with any of those guys.I've concluded that a very close friendship between man and woman over a long period of time is extremely difficult and very rare if it happens...Watch the movie "just friends"... it's a great representation of what happens. And if you know about the ladder theory, to movie complements the theory well.
-
See, that's the b.s. that makes it hard... It's so hard to tell if she actually likes you, or if she is just teasing to make you stick around as long as possible. Anyways, I've talked to her since and she is about to move out of her house (because of her *now* ex-boyfriend) and I'm gonna tell her straight up we need to go do something as more than just friends, and if not then we can part ways... (I wont tell her that, but if so that's what'll happen) Any thoughts?
-
Good luck. I hope things turn out better for you than they did for me.
-
Well, the day is fast approaching and I still haven't decided on how to ask her. I know the obvious answer is 'do you want to be more than just friends?' but I just can't ask it that bluntly. I think I've screwed myself over because we've become such good friends, so it's really hard to ask if she wants to be bf/gf. It seems like she would, but I'm just not positive...
-
In reply to:. . . but I just can't ask it that bluntly.Actually, why not? It's not rude, and confident people get away with asking things straight out. It gives an impression of strength.
-
If you don't ask, you are really posing a big threat to yourself. It can take quite a big toll on someone emotionally.
-
I know, that's very true. The only thing I'm worried about is if I ask her straight out and her response is 'well, I'm not sure if I want a boyfriend right now' or 'I just think we're better as friends'... I just don't want it to make things really awkward. Oh well, I put myself in this situation so if it goes bad I can't really get upset. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask her, wish me luck
-
Good luck and if you fuck it up, you can come back here and cry about it! :grin:
-
yea I have some friends like that. I wouldnt go for it, dont risk making a complete fool of yourself.