I am Eric, a fourteen year-old with the mental capacity of a twenty four year-old. The last time I remember being slightly happy is when I was about six and my mom took me to the movies...I just felt safe and assured that my life was in safe hands, and that nothing could hurt me.Fast forward 7 years to when I'm twelve, two years ago. I have a phobia of school, I catch my dad cheating on my mom, and am at risk of failing the Grade 6 because of absences--having to make up excuses such as medical problems to my few friends.I hate complaining, but I need to let it all out. My dad is hardly ever around now, and I recently considered hurting him as much as possible for what he's doing to the family. I want to break down every ounce of his confidence like he did to me over the years.Ever watch the show 'Smallville'? My father is Lionel Luthor and I am Lex Luthor, the predetermined villain of the story. I was always feared for no reason, always slightly manipulative--I admit that, but my father's only teachingsin life were that you couldn't pity others. And now I feel like an awful person for pitying myself.I would never commit suicide, because that is not an answer and I know that, and I can't run away--my family wouldn't be able to deal with that on top of their other problems financially and emotionally.I have been seeing a psychologist for two years now, and have gotten into a fair share of petty fights to release my anger...I'm not a bad person, I swear...I'm just desperate. I'm stuck in this hell-hole until I can finally be of age and finally move out.
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Hello
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Just wait it out. Things will turn out okay in the end... things will always always always get better. Its good that you will never commit suicide because that is definetly not the answer and getting help for yourself is such a good and big step.. you're already ahead of most people feeling the same way as you
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Honestly, I didn't expect any help.It was good enough to just let it all out. My psychologist is an old friend of my mother's, so I know him well...it's easier talking through writing, if you have a vague idea of what I mean.Thanks for the kindness.
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Im really impressed you're getting help.. most people don't
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I'm glad you understand the value in "letting it out". I do that myself...through writing even.Welcome aboard.
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Your father seems a very unpleasant man, Yrik, and that's a scarring influence. But it doesn't mean you'll be like him. You'll know what not to be. You'll rise far above him.
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Dad left during the night. I don't give a damn.Two days ago I tried to run away. My parents were having a huge fight that resulted in throwing things, and I couldn't stand it. I leaped out my window (close to the ground) and started running, letting my legs control me. Got caught by some old gardener. I guess shit happens.
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It does happen. :frowning:
I hope things get better, Yrik.