I am a 24 year old male. I am still a virgin. I have never had a relationship nor had any friends.However, I am no longer depressed and ill and now I have began to get a life for myself. But now I am able to express myself I am noticing that I am not really like other boys/men.I definitely have a gay-sounding voice. I find it embarrassing to open my mouth so I usually just sit in silence unless spoken to, and even then I put on a fake, deeper voice to hide it.I know I am attracted to other men; the problem is deciding how much I am attracted to them.I like looking at men who have great bodies, especially large biceps - but this is only because I want to be like that myself. I consider that kind of gym-orientated look to be great for my image and confidence. Maybe when I finally get my own six-pack and huge biceps I won't feel the need to look at other men for inspiration anymore?I am attracted to women. Definitely. I want to have a loving relationship with a woman and I want to start a family, get married etc., basically have the typical 'straight' lifestyle.Yet sexually, I cannot see any difference between men and women. I am not at all interested in anal sex (either with men or women) but the thought of performing oral sex on suitable men turns me on just as much as doing so to women.If I choose to lead a straight lifestyle I feel as though I could just be kidding myself; my voice does sound gay after all, so really, who will be fooled?Another fact is that I am still a virgin. I find it much more acceptable to be a 'gay' virgin (as in I have never sucked a penis or had anal sex before) than a 'straight' virgin because no woman would find me attractive if they knew that.Either way, it seems as though I am destined to be a social outcast. Can you give me some advice and opinions?
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Gay or straight...or Bi?
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Voice doesnt dictate sexual orientation, many gay men put on a "gay" sounding voice, and I know that some gays nowadays find it annoying.I reckon your straight and I'm sure at some point you'll find a girl you can have a family with.
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First off let me address the voice issues. Voice tone has nothing to do with being gay or straight. I am gay myself and I have a very neutral voice and I have gay friends who have both very deep voices and higher voices. So your voice does not indict your sexual orientation.As for everything else I think you are merely confused and unsure because you haven't had a relationship or sex for that matter. Now I am not saying to go out and have sex and find out, just saying I think that’s part of your issues.With the information you have given, and if I had to choose something I'd say you are at least bi-curious. I personally don't think you'll really be able to determine your sexual orientation until you start to explore the arenas yourself.
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>>>"I am a 24 year old male. I am still a virgin. I have never had a relationship nor had any friends."
Then most likely you probably haven't had enough life experience to know your self very well.
>>>"However, I am no longer depressed and ill and now I have began to get a life for myself."
Absolutely great! So many people, it seems to me, come here and describe their youth as you have, get to where you are then stop and make excuses to avoid social interaction. They what it but they fear it. Keep going.
>>>"But now I am able to express myself I am noticing that I am not really like other boys/men."
That's good "others" are such a poor thing to be like. And, most likely, you will find more often then not "others" are not what the seem or also, for that matter, not, what they think they are. Revel in your individuality and don't waste time gauging yourself by the bravado you witness all around.
There is one thing that kinda jumped out at me in your post. It seems kinda like you are trying to make excuses for yourself (by that, I mean, as in to ease your own mind.) For instance, you said, "I like looking at men who have great bodies, especially large biceps - but this is only because I want to be like that myself." Is that really the reason you like looking at men, I certainly have no idea. Only you can answer that just don't let fear disqualify an answer you may not be comfortable with.
Also, you said, "I am attracted to women. Definitely. I want to have a loving relationship with a woman and I want to start a family, get married etc., basically have the typical 'straight' lifestyle." Ask yourself is it the women I'm attracted to or the lifestyle. Again, only you have the answers.
Perhaps some experimentation with your sexuality before settling into and committing to any one lifestyle should be considered. Thats your call and depends on how well you think you know yourself. That doesn't mean, necessarily, sleeping with anyone it could mean going out on a date with a guy and getting a kiss, and seeing if it leaves you wanting more or if it just feels wrong. The same would apply to a woman. You may want more from both of them and there's nothing wrong with that. If your confused, I know of no other, more definitive, way to be sure in your emotions and feelings. It might keep you from making, what turn out to be, the wrong choices in the future.
Please don't think I'm trying to sway you in one direction or the other, like Eddie, I can only say you sound curious. All I am trying to do is get you to ask of yourself the questions you have asked us. You are the only one who can answer them. If your Bi these questions may be extremely difficult to answer but as you gain more life experience I think that the answer will come more clearly to you. Until then be yourself and be not afraid of who you are, whoever that is.
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you kind of remind me of me...The whole virginity and no relationship deal. Good to see you are just going to keep going and such. What are some of your hobbies meet people that way.
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I think you have hit the nail on the head. I have been a loner all my life. It feels WRONG for me hang around with people. I have a job and I rarely speak to people; when I do it is embarrassing. I can never stop thinking about whether people suspect me of being gay when I'm around people. Maybe that is why I prefer my own company.When I mentioned about looking at men with great bodies, I meant that if I am to be confident in myself I want to have a body like theirs. I don't want to be fat and ugly; I want to take pride in my appearance.Do I get turned on when looking at other men's bodies? Yes, I do, but there is no desire to have homosexual relationships or to have a gay lifestyle. I think this is why I am confused.I fear I was born a homosexual and this is why I could never survive in the real world, hence my withdrawal from society and the onset of my depression.Is there any way of discovering which of my parents passed on the gay chromosome to me? And if I have kids (considering I have a gay chromosome), would they be gay as well?
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Dude you are as straight as 007! And good on you. Someday yoou'll might some nice lady and sa'll shall be good.
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I think you are just telling me what I want to hear, but thanks anyway.
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when it comes to sexuality just go with what feels natural. You cannot say I am going to be gay or straight. It is something hardwired into your brain. If you are gay, okay, then your gay. That changes nothing about your personality or anything. I understand the whole political situation on homosexuality, but you will find the more at ease you are with yourself with yourself the more at ease people will be around you, and that goes for everyone not just homosexuals...Whatever you chose, does not change you as a person.
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Only you have to accept who you are... Relax and be who you are... Other people will find that in your self confidence...
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In reply to:I think you are just telling me what I want to hear, but thanks anyway. I very rarely tell people what they want to hear (and thus upset alot of people) so I dont see why you would be any different.If it helps I'm a virgin too who has at various times doubted my secuality. I still dont know whats going to happen with me. I jack off to sodomy sometimes.What I said I believe. Theres just so many people in this world! As long as we keep our chin up we can but prgoress in lives journey of discovery.
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"the thought of performing oral sex on suitable men turns me on just as much as doing so to women."This points to bisexual, though I'm not an expert.It takes a brave person to delve into their own person, and a braver one to put it up on a board for other people to see. Don't let anyone who put you down for being who you are. And congrats on getting to life! I think you'll do great, so long as you have confidence.http://members.tripod.com/~TechBabe/places.html
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i feel the same way u do majesty, exept 4 the anul sex and never sucked penis before. i have sucked my own;)
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"I can never stop thinking about whether people suspect me of being gay when I'm around people."You are who you are, gay or not. Screw people and what they think or you. If they can't accept you for who or whatever you are, regardless of what that may be, then they aren't worth your concern.>>>"...but there is no desire...to have a gay lifestyle."Perhaps Eddie, Roc, or Shadow would be better to address this but I'm going to give it a go. Don't let the media fool you. I don't think a "gay" lifestyle exists anymore than a "straight" lifestyle. Your life is your own, and like, hopefully, most people gay and straight, your going to live it in accordance with your beliefs, regardless of the group, club, church, or state you belong to.>>>"I fear I was born a homosexual and this is why I could never survive in the real world, hence my withdrawal from society and the onset of my depression."If you are gay, I'm sure you will survive just as many other gay people do today, in the western world. Sometimes though that means finding a community that is more accepting to let you be who you are. Sometimes that means standing in place and fighting for the right to be yourself without apology. Sometimes it means cutting ties and other times accepting someones prejudices and loving them anyway. The point is, yes the choices may be hard and unfair, but there are ways to cope.>>>"Is there any way of discovering which of my parents passed on the gay chromosome to me?"While nearly all scientific data currently points to sexual orientation being based in genetics, I know of no legitimate scientific tests for a "gay gene" or for that matter that a "gay gene" has ever been discovered.>>>"And if I have kids (considering I have a gay chromosome), would they be gay as well?"I know of no scientific data that suggests that there would be any more likelihood of child born of a homosexual parent to be homosexual, than a child born to a heterosexual parent. All I know is anecdotal and I can tell you that there are plenty of homosexual people who have heterosexual children.
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I honestly feel you need to relax and just accept whatever sexuality you happen to be. Life is short and no one should stress about it. It’s truly not something you have control over. I’m a firm believer in sexuality is something you are born with, not something you choose.Is the gay life a little harder? Sure but it's still worth living. I am gay myself and though yes it's harder socially, I am still a happy person and I have a BF who I love very much. We are even looking into adopting in the next year or two. Having a normal family life is still possible whether you are gay or straight. Main point is just to be happy with you.
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I'll agree, you can choose what type of sexual desires you have, but only to a point.
You can't control who you love, if you could, life would be so much easier.As for a gay lifestyle...there are sterotypes. However If you knew me in person, you wouldn't know I'm gay untill I told you, or said "damn he's hot" hahaha
I'm out and proud, I guess some would say I'm "strait acting" but I'm just myself. There are your sterotype gays, with the lisp, all femminine. There are also strong beefy types. If everyone was the same, what a boring world we'd live in.
Yes, gay people get hassled by haters and homophobes.
But You can't go through life pleasing one person without pissing another off. It's life, it happens. The sooner you come to terms with who you are, and find comfort in that, then the less stressful it's gonna be. Don't let media, friends, family change your mind. They are there for support and thoughts, but your mind, and heart is your own.
Hope that helps.In reply to:
Perhaps Eddie, Roc, or Shadow would be better to address this
In case you...or anyone else was wondering, my name's Chris, but it's just so plain and abundant. I normally go by my nickname, Kitten
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I agree that you need to get out there and experiment with both sexes.Then you can make an informed decision.Everyones emotional needs are different.As for your voice,I agree with Eddie .I have a normal deepish male voice.But some of my gay friends have a more fem voice.That does not make them anymore Gayer than me...it's just the way it is
