Can anyone please help me. I always end up getting too attached 2 a woman when i start a new realtionship. I try and start off slow but I always end up falling 2 fast and getting 2 attached. Then when the realtionship ends i end up getting really hurt and find it really hard 2 let go. I see my friends go from girl 2 girl or guy 2 guy without a care in the world, but me when i open up 2 someone i open my whole heart and end up getting 2 hurt and cant move on. It always takes me ages 2 be able 2 even think about moving on. How can i stop getting so attached in a realtionship??
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Always end up getting 2 attached
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Personally it sounds to me that you are a deeper person than your friends, and I think, despite the pain, it's a good thing.
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thanks heaps. Thats what im trying 2 say 2 myself that i just have 2 wait till i find that person who is going 2 be like me, but im going through alot of pain right now as the woman i not long broke up with has said she can see a great future with us 2gether yet she is trapped with her feelings and caring about her ex. that really hurts as i know we would be 2gether if she works out her head and feelings first
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I can relate....It is hard to explain but you fall for someone too hard. It will take some time and it takes so self reflection and growth. In reply to: but im going through alot of pain right now as the woman i not long broke up with has said she can see a great future with us 2gether yet she is trapped with her feelings and caring about her ex. that really hurts as i know we would be 2gether if she works out her head and feelings first Okay now what I want to point out here. Is that you broke up. You need to look back and see why you broke up. You need to also understand that is so very natural for people to desire the person they just ended a relationship with. What I suggest you do is take what happened with that relationship and learn from it and move on. 90% of the time going back will not solve anything at all. From what I have seen personally, it is best to acknowledge that it is over and you two did it for 1 reason or another.It is hard to move past past feelings. For I will tell you, you will feel a connection to that person forever. She is always going to mean something, but you cannot just have that feeling and have a successful relationship, so that is why I say, "Take a deep breath, release, and relax." You will be okay. And practice catching yourself evverytime you start to feel attached...you will catch it sooner and sooner, then things will get better.
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thanx heaps, thank is some very good advise. Im starting 2 learn more but i will admit i do want 2 go back 2 her in afew months and see if we can start again when she has sort her own feelings out as i know it can work but as you said the realtionship just cant work off a feeling. I think thats where i get confussed, i get a good feeling with someone and straight away i think that this is the one. ill just take it day by day and if its meant 2 be with someone it will just happen, no need 2 rush. so thank you
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Find a girl that falls for you as fast as you fall for her.
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the thing is she did fall 4 me as fast as i fell 4 her but that made her scared so she ran back 2 her comfort zone in her ex
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well, if u wanna think on the positive side of this:all this means is that ur a very deep, emotional guy ( which is a good thing really), a girl would b lucky 2 have sum1 like u 2 love them as much as u could.could b worse, ive got the opposite problem i guess. i cant fully trust a person and have a very anoying way of pushing ppl away, and sabatageing a relationship when a guy gets 2 close 2 me. i totaly sucks! i wish i didnt do it but i do. lucky 4 me ive got a new bf thats just like u in this respect, and fell for me fard and fast. ive let him no that im likely 2 push him away, so when i try and do it, he nos i dont really want him 2 fuck off wow...i really do have a way of makeing it all about me dont i, god im a bitch.lol.ur lucky that ur capable of the depth of emotion that u r. breaking up may hurt but, it just means the being in love will feel that much better in comparisum
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I agree."go back 2 her in afew months and see if we can start again when she has sort her own feelings out" -- Soft2, how about being a friend to her for now. Encourage her to talk about her feelings, resisting any temptation to "fix" her. Just be a good listener.Also consider the idea that you may be feeling needy, trying to latch on to someone. I give myself a hug when I feel needy. Then I don't end up pushing friends away.
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Thanks heaps everyone. I have got some really good advise from all of you that have written on here and trust me it is all helping me very much, u have no idea how thankful i am. its good to know there is people out there who do care. thanks again
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but feel free 2 keep giving me more advise.. the more i get the more it helps me get over things, see i like 2 talk things out alot, if i dont it just builds up inside me till i go crazy hehe
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You will win a girl's heart, unlike your friends who "go from girl 2 girl or guy 2 guy without a care in the world." When you look back at your pain, you will count it as gain.Thanks for sharing.
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thanx heaps. i know in time ill look back and ill know it was all a good thing but its just really hard 2 get through it now, plus i still love my ex and i know she still loves me but shes just not prepared 2 take the risk and open her heart 2 me again. maybe in time, but if not it wasent meant 2 be
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No, it aint easy!Just keep in touch with her, without being pushy. Eventually she will become more trusting, as she sees you patient with your desire.