He hit her! Read it! And be criticizing!

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Don't be lazy. Read it, you procrastinator.I'm not one for... whining or anything ::cough:: but I went over to my friend Nani's house today to work on a school project for the World War 2 experimentation thing and her dad came home a couple hours later and he was sort of kinda... drunk. I mean you could smell it all over him. And he came in right? And he was mad dizzy and he must of passed out on the couch cause we didn't know he came or whatnot. And then when we went downstairs to the basement to get a hammer we saw him in the living room passed out on the couch and so she was all embarrassed and said "oh I'm really sorry for this can you just help me take him to his room" so we TINY BARELY 115 lbs little itty bitty girls brought him up the stairs. I could have sworn I pulled a muscle or broke something in my back. He's not fat but he's definately a man's perfect size. So when we got to the top of the stairs he sort of woke up and he just went ballistic. No really! He totally lost it! He was screaming and cursing and kicking and screaming stuff in chinese. I don't know why or what it was we did and he was all like "what are you doing get off of me" so she was trying to calm him down and stuff and she went in the room with him and he was still yelling at her while I stood outside. But she looked like she needed help so I stepped in the room and then all of a sudden he just hit her. Slapped her. It looked more like a punch. Whatever it was it was a hard hit and I know it hurt because she started bleeding on her cheek. I don't know maybe he had a ring on but it was alot of blood. I was... no I still am freaking out. I don't know what just happened it's like a blur. A really loud blur. But she didn't even cry she just sat him down and said something to him in chinese and then she left and dragged me back downstairs with her. I'm really scared for her. I mean, I helped her wash the blood off her face but she has really pale white/yellowish skin so the scar is there. And she's sleeping over my house today because her mom doesn't want her around with him like that. And my mom and dad said sure she can stay in my room. Right now she's showering in the bathroom. But I mean my gosh what the freak just happened? She came to school yesterday with a really bad bruise on her arm but she said it was a bicycle accident. I don't know I'm kinda confused right now. Do I just leave this alone because the adults have it under control or what? She's my best friend and I hate to see her hurt.

No, you go immediately to the school counselor. You must get this solved. That is abusive parenting and harmful to her. You need to help her out on this b/c that is dangerous he could go much father next time.And BTW who is this ass, I will come over and knock some sense into this pansy ass bastard. I mean what the fuck kind of father, let a lone man, picks on kids. This mother fucker needs some sense knocked into him. He should pray he never meets me ever in his lifetime b/c he will be knocked out on the floor.

If it's an isolated incident, I would say back off. If it's something that happens often then something should be done. You really need to talk to your friend and find out what's really going on first.

I don't know if it happens often. She never tells me! She's always quiet when it comes to her father. I mean I've known her father since I started high school and he had a problem with me before because I was black and only wanted her to hang with chinese people but then he got used to me and my family and now... or he used to be a second father. But now, I don't know what's up. He's really, scary. But she won't tell me anything. I can't help her. I prayed for her, but I'm really doubtful right now. And she just came out the shower and I went to give her some of my clothes to borrow and I saw a couple of marks on her back legs. That's not from a bicycle accident.

Well if it is more than just this once, then you need to report it. For your safety and hers.

I don't know how many times it happens. She doesn't tell me about it. She always changes the subject.

okay back..mmmmm spicy chickenWell if she keeps changing the subject then maybe tell the counselor what you think is going on. I am a bit lost, I do not want to give you the wrong advice. I think Damien, or someone like him would know a bit better on the issue.

Well I tried bringing up the subject with her again before she went to go watch tv but she was just like "oh forget about it, it's old news". She's always really secretive about her Chinese heritage and her family. I don't want to upset her by getting in her business.

Damn those crazy Chinese, maybe you should be like a spy and withdraw information like James Bond!

yeah that is what I am worried about. But I mean it is dangerous for her, he could really hurt her. And here in the US that is against the law heritage or not. Our Country, Our Rules.I say talk ot a counselor but do not say names or anything and get input from them first hand.

Your laws dont work well, I get hit alot if im out of line or order! lets see these laws invoked! canada and america basically have the same laws but some states have diffrent etc.

You know, do not offer up advice to Ab that is not helpful. That is not what she needs. SO please refrain in the future.

well tell her "no i wont forget its really scaring me" or something of the like if hes hitting her he should be kicked in the jewels by a 15 foot horse,he needs to be stopped whether it be counseling (including A.A) or jail time where he can meet bertha and helga the czhech male bodybuilders who are fond chinese guys well depending on if its just then or if its been going on for a long time you should atleast find out that so he can get some counseling

Was not advice...

Have you talked to your folks about this? See what they have to say.Another tactic I've seen used, but might cause friction between you and your friend, is to say something like "you report this or I will". I agree that if it's a one shot deal, just be on the lookout in case it happens again. But you seem to suspect it's happened before. If that's the case, then somehow...by someone...it needs to be reported and dealt with.Of course the trick is that you are dealing with a family situation. Abuse is a very private thing. A lot of shame involved. And your also dealing with a culture that is much more private than American culture. So you gotta kind of understand what you might be risking by doing the right thing.I don't envy you dear. But really, talk to your folks and see what they say.

you should talk to your parents or your school guidance counselor.that is seriously freaky.

U NEED TO REPORT THIS!!!!!!ur friend could get seriously hurt.its obivously happened more then once.tell ur parents,teacher,councler,any adult u trust before sumthing even worse happens.

yeah now well see, my parents do know but they can't do anything about it because her mom said to leave it alone for now. so she'll be staying at my house for a while till things get sorted. We talked today, in between work shifts and dance practice. I think she's better but I'm still worried. Feel useless.

well thats good that shes staying with you and you shouldnt feel useless your trying your best and thats most likely helping alot

well you are being amazing getting her to stay for a few days until it is handled...Kudos to you Ab,