I have acquired an acute ability for social failure over the last year or so. Went to that dance tonight (not the Prom, thats in a few weeks) and I failed to mix or make friends. Doesnt help that I didnt really know anyone their, but I failed to rectify that (the girl who asked me to go seems to have lost interest in me). I used to be a very sociable person and was always the centre of attention. Now it appears I am out of practice. I feel like I'm 14 again. Since my parents split and I moved to the other end of the country I have led a rather pathetic social life. But I didnt expect to fail tonight. What should I do?
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Social catastrophe
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Well, why do you need to be social? If you don't know anyone, it's very natural that you cannot feel comfortable and this doesn't help the whole situation. In addition, you can't simply make friends in only one night.Anyway, you may have lost a fight, but you haven't lost the war yet! Be more patient and try again to hang out with others. Finally, it's unimportant to be the centre of attention. Having good and close friends is much better.
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What excellent advice, nataku!
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Are you sure my advice was good??? I thought I just started writing again without thinking first....
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I agree. It was great advice.I actually started seeing a counselor a few years ago and one of the main reasons was cause of basically what Strapper described. I would either stand by the wall or go out to my car and wait on my buddies and be jealous and bitter cause they could connect with people and I couldn't. I felt like I was defective and people were repulsed by me.I remember talking to my counselor about how to become "that kind of guy". He said (one of the most helpful things I've ever been told) "Why do you think you have to become that kind of guy?"Basically, not everyone is that outgoing social butterfly. A lot of us are a bit more withdrawn and find it difficult to connect like that. That's okay. Our relational strengths lie elsewhere. I think I'm a better long-term friend than my buddies.
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Well I just feel like I've regressed which sucks.Anyway I been thinking and I think last night was just a suckass situation.