I've been with this really great guy for a while now, and everything seems great EXCEPT that he is way too nervous about making out with me. Even if his or my parents are at the opposite end of the house, sleeping, he is still too nervous to be intimate with me. The only time we ever "get it on" is when no one is home (which happens maybe once every 3 months) and he's still totally paranoid about it. This is especially hard for me because I'm the exact opposite: I'd really enjoy making out in a car or a movie theatre or in a park late at night, but he doesn't even want to make out anywhere but in a bed (and I really want to try out the washing machine!) So I tried talking to him about it to try to find a middle ground. I said that I would go out of my comfort zone and give up some of my fantasies if he is willing to push his limits a bit and be more outgoing. He said that he wasn't comfortable doing that, which really hurts because I feel like he's not willing to even try to make me more happy in the relationship. So now I don't know what to do! I don't think that its fair that I'm giving up everything I want in this area of our relationship, but he won't give up a thing. I know that I shouldn't pressure him, and I'm trying very hard not to, but I don't want to neglect myself and my opinions. Does anyone have any ideas on how to persuade my boyfriend to be more sexually outgoing. Should I even try anymore?
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He's too nervous!
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how old are you two and how long have you been together?
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I'm 19 and he's 20, we've been dating for a bit more than 2 1/2 years
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to be honest i expected you to say he was younger.....it might be that having sex where you could get caught or seen is not for him, or hes possibly worrying that he will be that nervous he won't be able to get it up. Since you have spoken about it im not sure what to suggest......maybe you could get him hot and horny while in a public place till he just has to drag you off
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Sounds like it might be a self esteem issue, is he confident with himself other wise?
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he's just really afraid of getting caught in case his parents wake up or find out.