I'm 19 years old currently. However when I was 17 I met a young boy of 10 who I got on really well with. He looked up to me and I loved him becuase he was very mature for his age and was really cute.I then didn't see him for a while and I got incredibly depressed, in fact even when i thought about him I got depressed and upset and began to cry for no reason. I have met up with him again (usually we see each other for 3 months and then it breaks for 3 months until I see him again) My depressino has been getting worse, I know cut myself.. Even though I hate it when people see my cuts. I don't do it for attention I do it because it feels good.. And i know that sounds fucked up too. I stopped doing it for a while becasue I was caught by a few people, I made up an excuse and they didn't really buy it but they let me be. However I really want to do it again and again, slowly my cuts are getting deeper and deeper. i don't want to comit suicide but I am unsure why I keep on cutting.Anyway, when I would think about this boy (Now 13) I would get depressed, I would think about how I want to spend a lot of time with him and talk to him a lot more than I do... He looks up to me like an older brother and always enjoys talking to me. But why is he making me depressed.. or is he?I can't work it out. There are other things in my life which arent' great but I do believe this is my problem.Please someone help me and give me some helpful feedback
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Wanting to have a son causing depression?
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Just guessing here, but are you needing someone to look up to you, because you don't get much respect in life?
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No it's definetly not that. I have a lot of friends, I'm quite popular and not someone that gets no respect. And before anyone else says it, I haven't had any probs with my dad, we get on ok.. not brilliant but ok.
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mabye u dont love the widdle boy mabye ur in love with the widdle boy or obsessed, wich isnt wrong, its a porblem lots of ppl in the world have had, usually teenage girls over N'sync though, but u know u really do need to stop the cutting, got into it meself it gets nastayyy... been there done that, it feels good at first OH DOES IT but later on it just gives u a cold lonely feeling, thats why i worked hard to give it up, and i did