It has probably been asked a million times but..

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Okay this is how it goes.I'm 17 years old and I'm finishing up my Junior year of High School and I have a problem.....I've never asked a girl out. BUT, I've been in some long-term relationships only because those girls all asked me out. The only thing I've ever asked, was an invite to prom, but that was pretty easy since I asked my girlfriend at that time.Well I'm back to being single again and there's a girl that I've known since 7th grade. Shes in one of my classes and I've never really talked to her much, but we know each other. But when we do talk to each other, it's usually about something lame, like school or some dumb crap like that, and it usually only lasts like 30 seconds.She's a little over my league, and she's never gone out with anyone before (95% sure). I'm not sure if she's interested in me, but I always seem to see her glancing at my table during class and lunch (I don't know if that's just looking around, but she does that so constantly and it's almost always directed in my direction). She has a twin that's slightly a little less hotter than her, and she's kind of shy (most of the time, unless shes hanging out with this particular group of people at school).I really don't know how to start with her, and I would somehow like to atleast ask her before school ends. I was never great at talking to most girls that I don't really talk to much, I would always lock up and stutter. I would ask girls out myself, but I don't know how I would react if they say no. And I don't think just going straight up to her and asking her out is a good choice anyways.I could keep going on and on, but just thinking about her kind of pisses me off.

In reply to:She's a little over my leagueWhat these words mean is "I don't think I'm good enough for her", and they are the reason why good-looking girls often find it harder to get dates. Drop that way of thinking and let her go out with you if she chooses.But you have to make the first move.In reply to:I don't think just going straight up to her and asking her out is a good choice anyways.Is there any better way?

Should I go slow with asking her out, like have her get to know me? Or should I just straight up and ask?

Maybe you should get one of her friends to find out if she likes you.

Well two of her male friends are coming over at my house this Sunday to play some Tennis/Racketball...Though I doubt asking either of them would work, as I don't think she would tell anyone that kind of stuff because she generally shys up.

just ask her if she wants to hang out sometime. Never havethe person's friends to ask if she likes you dammit! Even if they say they will keep it secret, they won't. You do it yourself.

Well best thing to do is to just hang around her, flurt a little but not much, I have learned from experience, and also you will get a hand in the face, but just be nice hang around her but don't hover or stalk (once again another thing I have learned) and just be yourself, girls like it when you be yourself, just don't say stupid stuff, like "I'm wearing no underwear!" I did that in first grade to a girl I liked, and for some odd reason I woke up 2 hours later with a bad headache.

In reply to: Should I go slow with asking her out, like have her get to know me? Or should I just straight up and ask? No, not really. You don't go and ask her to go steady, but say "Hey, I enjoy talking to you and wanna get to know you better. Want to go see a movie sometime or catch up for lunch somewhere?" (or similar!).You have nothing to lose. If you don't do it you'll end up kicking yourself when another guy does do it and she teams up with him. In reply to: Maybe you should get one of her friends to find out if she likes you. I disagree. Unless you're 10 years old and in primary school you'll look like a little schoolboy. Get over the schoolboy days and just go and ask her to catch up outside of school sometime.Don't say that she's out of your league either, otherwise you'll never do it and you'll never feel worthy! You are who you are and just because someone might seem popular or good looking doesn't mean that you can't date them. Let her decide that (as posted by earlier).Just be yourself and try to hang out with her a bit more. If she declines any of your offers, it's NOT because she's out of your league, it's because she though you two were incompatible or just didn't feel a spark.You're human like the rest of us and deserve her just as much as the next guy! Good luck and let us know how you go!

*waves arms* I'm with silentrain all the way on this one!!! Put into words exactly what I'd have said... nice one :laughing:

Well tommorow, Sunday, I will somehow train myself fast to take all the fear and pain off of my mind, so Monday I can somehow, but hopefully, ask her.

Ugh, this may seem lame but I'm getting more and more nervous as every minute passes, even when I'm not thinking about it. I'm starting to think I'm not going to be able to do it, or I'm just going to freeze up on words.One of the reasons why I can't start a relationship myself, is that I've never really encountered many girls in my life. Like, first of all, I was brought up in a family where they didn't believe in relationships until you were a true adult, basically one whos in or past college (generally more like after you graduate, because they're like education > girls in every situation). They were really strict on girls, especially American girls (I'm Russian) saying that those "types" of girls were usually sluts, seducers, etc (being the stereotypical people that they were, they were basically saying things you would normally say to someone you wouldn't like) But I know this isn't true as most of the girls I've gone out with are of Caucasian descent, and currently the one I want to go out with right now is also white. And I don't even have a good friendship with girls within my own family, mainly because there aren't many at all. I have only one little brother whom I don't see often, since he's always at his friend's house, or doing something with the school band, and only have about 6 or so female cousins (I rarely see them, maybe once every year or so since they live in the Middle East), out of 25 or so male cousins. And growing up has left me with many great friends, all male, so I only really understood what guys liked to do, while never really understanding girls. As you can see, girls weren't even a small part in my book, so I never really strived to have a girlfriend. But nonetheless, girls have asked me out, but unsurprisingly, they all broke up with me because I really didn't know what to do, nor did I care or take any of it seriously, having all those years wasted racing, shooting, etc (guy stuff) with guys and basically no girls. And I didn't even really care if they broke up with me since I didn't really understand the meaning of liking a girl, mainly because of the "filtering" and "brain-washing" on the view of females.But as more time passes by, I start to look at girls differently, especially after my last girlfriend, I seem to actually look at them with a more likable attitude. But this has added nervousness and doubt to my mind to talk to her, which has been procrastinating me on asking her out. But as much as I love how she looks, and adore how she talks, the distress for not asking her grows. I'm basically almost to the point where I need to ask her no matter what the answer is. But fear of her lips saying no is stopping me. To sum it up, I basically don't want to hear a no, and I somehow need to find out a way not to care the way people think of me IF she does, but I'm totally confused on how to understand this.

I grew up in a family with no females except my mother, and I attended an all-male school, so I understand very well how women can seem a totally unknown species.However, you know what you want to do, you have made a decision (which seems a good one to me) - now what you need is the courage to do it. There are no guarantees she won't say no - there never are. And there's no way to stop it hurting - it always does. But it's still something you have to do.BTW, saying that you know the girls aren't sluts because they are white can lose you a lot of friends.

you gotta ask before she looses intrest! get past the fear! and so what If you hear no. No is a two letter word that you can get over. but if you get a yes well the rest is you.

In reply to:BTW, saying that you know the girls aren't sluts because they are white can lose you a lot of friends.That's really not what I meant. My parents say that they are, to get me "away" from them. I was just saying the caucasian girls I have gone out weren't "sluts" as my parents have claimed they were.Is there any mental training I can do to raise my confidence level? Seriously, I'll need a 100x booster.

I can really understand your anxiety NickZ so I don't want to give up on this and I don't want you to either!Basically you can do one of two things:1) Don't do anything and wait. This seems to be the easy option now but when she runs off with another guy it'll really really hurt. Moreso because you will never know if that could have been you. You'll kick yourself forever.2) Ask her to a casual day out. If she says no it will hurt but you'll know where you stand. You'll know that you did your best and made an effort.Option one sucks a lot more. It'll hurt much more when she's off with some other bloke, and you're just left wondering and wishing you had of asked her.Now I think you're nervous because of your perspective on asking her out. I think you're blowing it out of proportion. Don't look at it as though you're asking her to marry you! You're just asking her on a casual day out.You two are friends right? So think of it as though you're asking a friend out to the movies or whatever! What's wrong with that? If you approach it this way you'll come across must smoother and more confident.

Well apparently she was sick from school today, but I probably would of ditched on asking her still.In reply to:You two are friends right?We're not friends, we just know each other, and I'm pretty sure she knows me quite a bit, because in 8th grade her best friend asked me out, and like I said, since I wasn't very knowledgable on girls, she quickly found out I was extremely boring and broke up with me. More than anything, I know my ex told the girl I'm trying to ask out. I don't know if that would lower my chances or whatever. Also, since she has a twin, would that cause any problems? Because they usually always hang out with each other, usually with one of my male friends between them. I don't know about you, but it would seem weird going up to twins and asking one out. But anyways, I need some thinking time by myself for a while.One more thing, one of my male friends, who never has trouble hooking up with girls, almost always a very good looking one, told me the other day that (I was joking with him about him and girls, and he just suddenly tells me some advice) if you talk to a lot of different girls, ugly or hot, it gets easier to talk to girls you like. He claims it's really true, and knowing him, I would think it is. But I've talked in so many conversations with girls you would rate a 8-10 (10 being best of course), but my palms still get sweaty when I approach her (the one I'm trying to ask out), even if it's a stupid conversation, like homework or whatever, which is usually the case.