Losing Her Is Not An Option.

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I love my girlfriend so much, she tells me that she loves me with all her heart... but im lost. she swore on my brothers grave that she wasnt lying about something, and i caught her lying. my brother meant so much to me, and thats like a slap across my face, and saying your my bitch deal wit it... she controls alot of the things that i do, and she publically abuses me, cutting my words off and spittin disgustingly rude comments to me, i dont know what to do with her... i sometimes feel like poppin her across her jaw, then i close my eyes and i picture how happy we are most of the time... its just these rare occasions where i dont completely do everything she wants... (i needa stand up sometimes and be a man) i need advice on how to help her get over this problem that she has with controlling me, and abusing me, im a man and i've been through alot, im tired of getting tortured in life, ive done everything for her, and she hasnt done HALF as much as i have for her... i need to know a way to get her to love me without being scared to show me...i know she loves me, but shes emotionally blockin, i need help... but losing her is not an option...and those are true words, losing her is not an option, if thats the only possible way for me to be happy with her, then fuck it, imma let her torture and abuse me till the day that i die from all the cancer sticks imma go through, or from me committin suicide and endin my life...im a young mind, strong heart, strong back... but the world is heavy, wont you please... please... help me...going to sleep with tears in my eyes, and beating the shit out of people because im angry at her really isnt healthy... and although im crying writing this, i love her and i cant lose her, im nothing without her... i cant see myself with any other person, and i cant see her with any other man... thats a lie, i can see her, and it drives me insane... please i need your help more than ever..."Staring blankly at the screen, wondering, what the FUCK is going through her mind.I stand blood is dripping from the gash on my wrist, blood steadily dripping from that line, I love her so much, but she sends me so many mixed signals. I can’t hurt her I can’t yell, theres so many barriers. I close my eyes and feel as the blood slowly pumps out of my vein, my heart rate is calm, and im listening to my brain. But the sound is drowned out by my tears. Im suffering deep inside, but im smiling for my peers. Saying that that I’m ok, that life is great, but deep down inside its not all great, maybe… Maybe… its just fate. Fate that destined me to this so called earth, I call it hell, I call it a living breathing hell on earth. Strangling myself with my own umbilical cord, im trying to die. The doctor quickly pulls me out, and I become untied. Crys shoot from my lungs, flem shoots out my mouth. I love her and she loves me, but emotionally something is blockin, Staring at the mirror figuring out our relationship, what to do, but losing her is not an option…"

Quote:she swore on my brothers grave that she wasnt lying about something, and i caught her lying. my brother meant so much to me, and thats like a slap across my face, and saying your my bitch deal wit it... That's pretty serious, if you're one to hold promises to heart. I won't ask what she did exactly if you don't want to share, but if you caught her lying, what makes you think she's trustworthy? A relationship without trust is a guaranteed failure.  Quote:i need advice on how to help her get over this problem that she has with controlling me, and abusing me, im a man and i've been through alot, im tired of getting tortured in life, ive done everything for her, and she hasnt done HALF as much as i have for her... i need to know a way to get her to love me without being scared to show me...Have you actually sat down and had a heart-to-heart with her? Does she understand how you feel, the things you've been through, and so on? If not, you really, really need to do it.  Quote:and those are true words, losing her is not an option, if thats the only possible way for me to be happy with her, then fuck it, imma let her torture and abuse me till the day that i die from all the cancer sticks imma go through, or from me committin suicide and endin my life...That's pretty sad. Why don't you have enough vaule and self-respect for yourself that you would allow ANYONE to treat you like shit? You don't deserve it. Perhaps I'm being quick to say this but if she's an abuser, you need to leave. Abuse is a drop dead, bottom line, deal breaker when it comes to being in a relationship. There should be ZERO tolerence. Get out, and get out fast.And for the love of your life, you're only 16/17. You still have the rest of your life to find "the one". I'm sorry but I don't buy into the "she's the only one for me" crap at your age.

i am the type that holds promises to heart, and it was over something completely stupid that she put on herself. and i gave her like 5 chances to juss be honest wit me, and i wouldnt of gotten mad, i told her tho, i said, "look baby, if ur lieing, tell me now i wont be mad" she said "im not lieing, trust me." i said "fine swear on my brothers grave, dont lie to me, u know what he meant to me" she then said "im not lieing to you."i've talked to her... but she has a very difficult time paying attention to people who are talking to her, so its kinda hard, she knows my past, shes a good person, she juss cant control herself sometimes.i try hard but like i said i love her so much... since i met her i knew i was going to marry her and she was going to be my i feel that she is the person im supposed to be with because, when shes in a good mood, my life moves in slow motion so that i can savor each second, and when were not together, everything is a blur and all i can think about is the next second imma be with her...when my brother died, and i had him in my arms i had my eyes closed to keep anymore tears that were going to come out, from coming out... i hadnt spoken to her at that time for over 6 months, this was before we really got into a relationship. and the one thing that went through my mind while i was holding him in my arms, was her... i had her around my right arm and she had her left arm wrapped around my back, her right arm wrapped around my waist, hugging me, and in my left arm was my son... that kept me from going with my friend who was yelling for me to get in his car and to help him get the guys back who killed him back, which in turn kept me outta jail, WHICH IN TURN lol kept me from getting killed like my friend was.im going to try and talk to her inna few days, i needa have some stability in my life, the relationship with her is like having a gun witta 1000 bullet barrel, all empty except for 5 random ones... and playing russian rullet, theres a very unlikely chance of me getting killed, but the thought is always in the back of my head...

Well, have a talk with her and see what happens. Let's hope for the best, because to be very honest, this doesn't look good.
The very best of luck to you, honey!

i really appreciate everything that you've told me, any other suggestions? i mean i've been coming up with some ideas... shes always extremely happy for like 16-24 hours after we have sex... maybe i can come up with like... a pattern of having sex with her and keep it so that shes constantly happy... lol...if after our talk theres still issues, imma have to figure out another way... or something different to try... cause idk if i can live like that for very long... and if i do live long being her slave, im gaurenteeing you ill prolly end up killing myself, which isnt that hard for me, seeing as how i have open access to guns, needles, and razorblades, though the last one would be the least likely to happen... maybe ill get more advice tomorrow...

Even though I think sex is important in a relationship, it shouldn't be the sole reason for being in one. So, the idea of using sex to make her happy is a dud.The only suggestion that I'm coming up with is simply talking to her and see what she says. I can't stress enough how communication and honesty is key to a relationship. If she is nice as you say, then maybe she'll understand where you're coming from and make some effort in changing how she behaves with you.If she doesn't make an effort or even listen to you, then it's time to cut your losses. It should only take one serious conversation to let her know how you feel. If she doesn't get it in the first try, then she's never going to get it. It's impossible to change a person if they refuse to listen. No matter hard hard you try or how much you want her to change, in the end, it's her choice.If she doesn't want to put effort in this relationship like you, then what's the point? What if you marry her like this? Marriage isn't going change who she is and it's going to get a hundred times worse. It's not worth your time, energy, effort, or emotion.Trust me, honey. If this doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. Like I said you're still very young and have the rest of your life to find love again. Killing yourself for one girl (and a girl who doesn't respect you at that) is not worth it.I was 18 when I found my first love. It was my first serious relationship that lasted a bit over a year. I was going through my serious depression and I thought I couldn't live without him. He and I talked about having a future and all that jazz. But in the end, it didn't work out. Of course, it hurt. But if I gave up then, then I wouldn't be with my current boyfriend of two solid years.You deserve love and respect. If you can't find it with this girl, then hopefully the next girl will.

thank you i appreciate your advice and i think that your right about the whole its only going to get worse... im thinking maybe if i keep a positive attitude... talk to her more, and maybe keep her stressed then it would work a bit better.

Here's hoping!

Having read this story a couple of times today, the only thing I can say is if you try and try and try and absolutely nothing is working sometimes being able to move on with your life starts with goodbye. I know it may hurt but sometimes the only way to escape with yourself in tact is to walk away.And as someone said before, it's not the end of the world. You'll find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.

The only way one can grow past their years is to have many experiences in life. In order for that to be true one can't be just with one person. Too much importance is placed on "marriage, soul mates, life partners." Fuck that. If someone is making your life miserable, leave their ass. It;s the best thing you can do, not only for yourself but for her too. She is the pack leader and you are the submissive puppy. That's fine, it does not always have to be the man who is the pack leader. But, when there is abuse involved, (and I know women can abuse men, my mom would beat up my stepdad with a broomstick) then these two aren't right for eachother. Do you want to be driven to shoot up a mall and then yourself just because of one person's actions? Deep down inside, I don't think you do. Put the guns where they belong, in the fucking trash, and move on, because it actually IS AN OPTION.

first off you have to realize that you dont need anyone to live, losing her is sure as hell an option, and if it were me shed already be gone.The one thing I find to be the most important in a relationship is trust, you obviously cant trust her, and to ridicule and abuse?she doesnt love you, she will never get over controlling you, its how she is, cut your losses and dump the bitch.

I agree, the most important thing is trust! So what happens when you think you trusted someone and then you find out that someone has been corresponding with a member of the opposite sex through email for a couple of years and talking about sex, love, and who knows what else?

Are you referring to the only other post you've made here? It seems you caught your "other half" flapping away about potential Honeymoon plans, did you also catch him engaging other girls?

No she did not, what she got so pissed about was a girl that sent me an email telling me how grat I am and she loves me and shit.
Luckily for me, I didnt respond to it, nor did I encourage it, my mistake was in not deleting it and letting it gather box in my inbox for over a month now.
Is she pissed?
yes yes she is, did I cheat or fuck her over? not at all, Im still in trouble, but I dont think she will tie me to the bed and cut my dick off with toothpicks in my eyes to hold them open to see it go in the blender before its poured into a funnel taped into my mouth, had I cheated on her, Id be willing to bet my left nut hat that would be the outcome.
Luckily for me I already know IM her bitch and dont bother trying to change it.

Are you the guy she was all pissed off about in 2006? Do you actually know this person and is she your Ex or your current?

yup, Iv been pissing her off off nad on (normally not pissed off, but always together) since uhhh 2004 ? yeah since february 27th 2004. See? Im fucking good I even know the date we met! she is the one the that Im whipped over, 100% retarded for.

after today, talking to her... discussing some things about the relationship, she let me in emotionally...shes really focused on her school, and i told her that i dont want to be without her, that i need her and she told me she wants me as well, but her school needs to get done.so we've formulated a new plan, she has her work to do and i do too... our 1 year is coming up, March/09/07... im going to be working soon, so im going to focus on that for the most part. shes under alot of stress from her family, and from her grades and extra activities, i sometimes take for granted some of the things she does outside of this relationship, and i guess i just have bad timing, shes been taking her anger out on me, and she apologized today. i love her so much, and she loves me jus-... lol almost as much...i grew up reading about benjamin franklin, and watching old movies, studying the 1700's...make then men had honor, women had class, yea they didnt have t.v's or radios, but they had each other...the men worked for the food, and money, and supplies... the women tended the house and cooked the food. but dont jump to call me a female shovinistic pig, im far from it.women were also allowed to work, making pottery, cooking for others, sewing, and a ton of other jobs... yes they were kept out of labor but still...enough of my ranting, the point that im getting across, is that,i think they knew how to build a strong relationship, you do it with strength and change... the strength to know when to much is enough, and how far to change...theres only so much that im going to do for my girlfriend, but when too much comes along (hopefully it doesnt) i will have to "cut my losses" however painful it may be...thank you for all of your advice... if things wouldnt of gone as good as they did today, i woulda had to leave her for a while till things with HER changed...our relationship is alot like Grvty and his girl's... we both makem very mad at us, and then very loving towards us... high five

I normally make her mad by farting in the car in the winter with the windows up, or by walking in the bathroom to piss while shes in the shower, or maybe I ate the last cookie. I do nto on a normal basis make her mad at me, this wa a misunderstanding, a few days to let shit go and a nice chat and shes longer mad at me once she had all the facts, we are not often mad at each other and do not abuse or control each other.Do ya see the difference? this is the first actual fight we had in about 2 years, before that its been you bastard~ cant you wait till ya get out of the car to fart!?, all minor shit, we normally get along great and dont fuck each other over. The fight before this was me planning vacations and honeymoons thinking I was being good with a big suprise to find out she wanted to be included in the planning. We have never hit each other, fucked over the other one, or gone out of our way to humiliate the other. On a daily basis we each go out of our ways to make shit better for the other one, its not all give or all take, its a bit of both on each side.Theres a huge difference between our "fights" and yours, If she treated me the way yours treats you Id be fucking gone daddy gone

Tell Julz I, for one, appreciate the fact that she lets us all know when you fuck up... even if it is just a misunderstanding. It's good to know somebody's keeping an eye on ya.

trust me, she keeps and eye and a leash on me.