Dear God, YOU BASTARD, YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER BAST

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For some reason over the past 6 months I have got into the habit of going after girls who have BF's. Okay, you might say, at least they're not ugly mongs with nothing going for them. But its FARKING ANNOYING.It’s happened again. Girl I like who has a BF.We share a class together. We get on really well, we rarely find there is nothing to talk about. I really like her, she is also hot therefore I also want to screw her.But the thing is I am actually getting emotionally attached to her. We are actually really good friends. She knows I fancy her (don't ask) and she basically said she likes me however she has a BF. And if it weren't for that fact we would probably be an item. That could have been an "I don't actually fancy you, but your a good friend so I’ll only kick you when your standing" sort of message.I don't think so, I would hope not. We are good friends. She recently has been saying she hasn't been all that happy with her BF. I am praying she sees me as the better choice and dumps him. I don't know.So basically1. How do you rate my chances? The magic 8 ball says it’s a sure thing but I don’t know.2. Is it wrong to nick GF’s3. Any advice, options scenarios anyone can give me.I don’t really know what I want from this post but I just wanted to get it off my chest and it’s a damn site better than spending 100 quid for a farking councilor.Mr. Nuts

How long would you plan to wait for her to leave the other guy? A week? A month? Two years?You are in the friend zone and on the wrong ladder.If you keep trying to hook up with people who are already taken, there's a reason.

If she leaves her boyfriend for you then yes it will look bad. But she probably unfortunately likes her boyfriend more than you and it happens to everyone, so if i were you i would just give up on her and be satisfied with being friends.
Also, completely discard any advice from the magic 8 ball

I like the link. Gave more insight to how girl’s minds work. I am not willing to believe it is fully accurate, but it certainly looks and sounds realistic.You could be right, I could be on the "friends ladder". That would be really annoying, I would hope I am at least on a reserve list. Would I wait for her? I don't know. This really is messing with my mind at the moment. I know I probably should just accept good friends is good enough and get on with it. But I don't want to.I’ll probably just end up trying to kiss her or something and really bury our friend’s relationship into the ground. I don’t know though. Because when I told her I liked her, she did seem genuinely, not upset or sad but you know what I mean, when she told me it was a no basically. She gave me what I would call a “condolence kiss” as well.I am going to try and keep busy, try not to think about her.But I am getting so sad about her, then depressed, and then angry. She is the last thing I think about at night, and the first thing I think about in the morning.Why do you always want what you can't have?Mr. (kickinthe) Nuts

Why do you always want what you can't have?Because you can't have them. This non-relationship is a problem if it interferes with your finding another girl.

The question is, how do you go about finding another girl when you tend to pick particular girls who you really like but they are never interested/available/etc. What is the purpose of finding other girls who you lack interest in? Maybe this is where I lack an understanding of sociology, but I find it difficult to accept the fact that it's better to do something you don't want to do over something you do want to do when the whole purpose of doing that something is to find something that you like.

how do you go about finding another girl when you tend to pick particular girls who you really like but they are never interested/available/etc.What I'm trying to say is that you like them because they are not available. If they were the same person, but available, you might never have noticed them.Of course that's a gross generalization, and you can make the argument that desirable women have already been taken (because they're desirable), but I don't buy it. Pretty much all of them were available at one time. They weren't born into a relationship.What attracts people to others who are already taken is a complex subject, but at the end of it all, rarely does any good come of it.

How about when they're not taken, but you still can't be with them. Someone I've liked, and still like... I'm really not sure what to think of the situation and really don't want to tell it all over again. I tried to move on, went out with someone else after not being able to get together with her because she was gone for a couple months then at a later time having difficulty talking with her because she was always talking with her friends when I did have the opportunity, and now... maybe it's just me, but she seems really shy around me and I still really like her even though I've tried so hard to move on. I thought about trying again (I never actually asked her out when I found out she was leaving then tried to move on), but it's even more awkward now because I've become friends with her brother who was assisting our coach with us distance runners (her included) on the track team. The first time I met her was nearly 2 years ago and I liked her shortly after that and still like her now... that's not right considering I haven't done much to act on it, but even after I thought I'd moved on just seeing or hearing her gives me butterflies in my stomach (I don't know how else to describe it).There's my complex situation which really has nothing to do with the original topic, but I thought I might as well post it to show where my thoughts were coming from.

It’s not like that; I had no idea that she had a BF. I only found out less than two weeks ago, she doesn't seem the happiest she could be with him anyway.The thing is that she is in my college (that’s Brit speak for, what do you call it...high school. Anyway, I’m 17 she's 18) and her BF is not in college. So it wasn't like I had a real idea she was taken.The thing is,I really do like herShe seemed sad when she told me "no"She isn't really all that happy with her BFAnd for fecks sake I am not singling out girls who are taken. It just sorta happens.I think I am just going to have to play for time and see how things work out. I think it could work. I will always go for the tough odds.Mr. Nuts

OK, I hear you....as long as you understand (and you seem to) that nothing may ever come of your thing for this girl.

> And for fecks sake I am not singling out girls who are taken. It just sorta happens.

It just sorta happens? I don't think so. There are a lot of reasons that someone who's taken might be more attractive than someone who's available, all else being equal.

There was this girl who i really liked a couple of years ago who also had a boyfriend.I actually knew her for 5 years and in that time i think she had 3 boyfriends who were all dicks. During this time i always had feelings for her but never said anything.Then she said to me if she wasn't with her BF we could be more than friends.In saying that i then told her how i felt about her.She told me she also had feelings for me but at the same time loved her BF and didn't want to hurt him but also at the same time didnt want to hurt me.I told her i would wait for her to decide what she wanted to do.After 6 months i hadn't heard from her so decided to move on.As far as i know she is still with him.