I split up with this girl over a year ago when I moved away from the city I resided in, to move up north, very far away, preventing us from staying together. When I would go down and visit my old home, me and her would meet up to chat and make-out. Other than that we had little contact, we never rang each other and only rarely spoke on msn or through the occasional txt message.A couple days ago (while on my most recent excurion into my old town) I told her I wanted what we had, whatever it was, to end. It was rather weird sometimes when we were together for various reasons, but thats not really whats on topic here. The thing is her friends have come onto msn and berrated me for "breaking up" with her (always a rather unfair thing to do really, none of my mates have ever harrassed a girl who has dumped me). "Breaking up?" I exclaim in surprise "But we werent together, we split up ages ago". Well it appears somewhere along the lines my ex had told her friends that me and her were back together. How absurd! I live on the other end of the island! Could it be that she took it from a few late night saucy txt conversations and some fumbling that we are once again an item, albeit of the long-distant variety? When does a relationship become a relationship in peoples mind? I mean to ask, of your own experiences as to when a relationship begins in the minds of yourself and others. Have anyone else found themselves in a misunderstanding with someone other whether or not they or someone they know is in a relationship or not?
When a relationship becomes a relationship
Maybe she thought since you all had been making out sometimes, even though it is rare that this happens, that she had you in some type of relationship. Girls get attached more so than guys, we don't have much luck just messing around without feelings, our feelings follow closely behind if they aren't already there in the first place. She doesn't want whatever you two had to end, and you are completely breaking her chances to be near you by stopping the little bit of messing around and the minimal communcation that you two have and is upset by it.She likes ya and doesn't want it to end.As to answer your question about relationships, I believe a relationship is when the 2 people involved are in agreement that they are in a relationship and each of them knows that the other wants to be in the relationship. *Don't know if I answered anything you wanted to be answered by my post though. ?
For me a relationship should be meeting-of-the-minds, where you both agree and understand you are in a relationship. To me a relationship it more than the occasional making out, or steamy talking on the Internet.But has Hotpants said, women do seem to get attached quicker than guys do, so perhaps this girl look deeper into the making out and took it as you were together, where you took it as just making out.
Aye its a shame to think that she was somehow more attatched to me than I was to her, but to be fair its not like she was crazy for me. Her repsonse to what i said was to storm off in a huff, rather than express her love for me or something. Its all good now I guess.
Yea, awhile ago I found myself in a situation that put myself in your ex's shoes.
My best friend for a long while and I started to hit it off after her boyfriend moved away. We got really close and eventually we started to kiss and get closer and mess around, not full blown but near enough, and I assumed she intending on breaking up with her boyfriend if she was willing to do all this stuff with me...I was wrong.
She ended up staying with him for a long while after that and yet she still always seemed to have time to mess around with me while he was away. I cared for her a ton though...and I've always had a hard time saying no to her so it ended up putting me in a very bad place.
Eventually she caught on to what she was doing and months and months later she finally broke up with her boyfriend for me..., but remembering how long it took for her to do that really does...well I dunno what but not nice things.
I don't know when a relationship becomes a relationship...people are strange so it's sorta hard to tell because when you think you're in a relationship your partner might just think of you two as a friend or even less.
what i've learnt from a similar but much more painfully ended relationship is that the way to avoid confusions is to talk openly about where you and another person stand... always check with the other person, where (s)he is in the relationship. with my current bf, we did that from very early on, we always talk about our relationship when one of us feels theres a need to do that and since we have very similar goals in life, we don't have this issue of one being far ahead from another.as for the question about when it becomes a relationsip, its hard to say. even if you're just talking to someone regularly and feeling attraction growing between you, then who is to say it's not a relationship yet? it's the beginning of one.