so i have this amazing girlfriend...loyal, sweet, selfless, caring, and absolutely breathtakingly beautifal....I love her with all my heart and believe she is truly the only one for me this world.It sounds like a match made in heaven...yet there's so many complications that it's really been getting to me lately...When I date girls, I usually date girls outside the box...meaning outside my group of friends and chick friends. My girlfriend (we've been dating for about 4 months now, met at college and started goin out) happens to be COMPLETELY different from the personalities and characteristics of my group of friends.I'd have to say I hang out with the asshole crowd...none of my friends have any real girlfriends...we've got a couple of "bubble gum hos" that kinda stick around with us when we party...(usually for the sake of having girls around when we party and for ass) my friends are the types of kids who are most likely gonna be single and barhopping with one night stands until they're in they're 30's... Idk they're just dicks (at the same time my boys) and dont understand the meaning of true love...the love I feel I am slowly falling in with my girlfriend.When I hang with my guys..I'm a different person then when I hang with my girl. I'm a loud, obnoxious, asshole when I'm around my friends (just like my friends) yet I'm a compassionate, caring, and loving type of guy around my gf.It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm twofaced or schizzo even! Sometimes I'm even embaressed to answer my celll fone when I'm with my boys because I know I"m going to have to say "I love you" or some other mushy relationship type thing...usually my friends don't even care, but sometimes they'll tease me about. I jsut don't know why I let it get to me so much! I get embaressed sometimes when I say "I love you" to her in public...it's sooo weird! But the thing is, I really do love her with all my heart. And I am making an effort to overcome this, which is getting better.My friends arn't really down with my girlfriend...they don't say much when I bring her around them, especially the girls, they're always mean to my girlfriend and stare her down making her feel uncomfortable...Idk i just feel like I have so much unecessary pressure placed on my relationship and I feel like one day its gonna boil down to the final question...My boys, or my girl? And I'm going to have to make that decision which I don't want to do. My friends have had my back for so long. THey are the people I've played sports with ever sinec we've been 10 all the way through varsity high school through drinking, thru thick and thin...yadi yad i yada, we're just one big family and I don't wanna lose that.At the same time my gf is like my future wife. She is perfect for me and I really think I want to marry her one day. I'm not into superficial, money, type relationships. I'm into the real thing, and that's just me.It really beats me up that I feel so uncomfortable for my girlfriend when I bring her around my friends...Idk what it is, but sometimes it gets to me so bad, that I even contemplate why I even bothered involving myself with a gf in the first place...and THAT is what scares me. I really hope I don't end up breaking my gf's heart one day. I always get this bad feeling that I will. It happened in my last relationship and I don't want it to happen again. ESPECIALLY with this one, I love her too much, she is just way to perfect for me.IDK any advice is necessary...I jsut don't know how to deal with these unecessary complications.
Arrightt some mroe advice please
**Well, to be honest, as hard as it would be i would tell your 'boys' how you feel about your girl, if they are as good a friends to you as you think they will chill, and accept your GF, i cant see what else you can do, choosing between them would be harsh, but give them a chance to understand and be cool with if first before you decide anything, it might not come to that - good luck! **
Many people act differently in different company. It's not necessarily being bad or hypocritical - in a way it's good manners to fit in with the local microculture.But what's happening with you is a stronger-than-usual example of what happens to many guys. You already know what's going to happen - you'll drift from the loud-mouthed friends to your gf. If you don't, you'll always regret it. Others of your friends will, with time, make the change too.You can still keep in touch with your old friends, though. You just won't spend as much time with them. Eventually most of them will settle down.