ok, so I'm male 23 yr old virgin. I've come very close to sex more than once (first at 21), but each time I was fairly-very drunk and it didn't happen. Each time, the women were turned-on by the foreplay I was giving them, but very pissed/embarassed when I couldn't perform. In each instance, it ended badly. Each time that it ended with stress it seemed to multipy into the next encounter.Now I'm in a relationship with a woman who is very understanding, knows my past, knows it isn't her fault, isn't looking for a serious relationship, and is ready to de-virginize me. So, I tried tonight, I'm fairly drunk, it didn't happen. She says she is willing to try again. I really like this girl (much more genuinely than the others) and I want to pleasure her, but I'm combatting the anxiety very hard (no pun intended), and I really NEED this to happen. I haven't gone out with this girl where I wasn't drunk (she's kind of a drunk like me), but I'm going to try it sober tomorrow. The alcohol has helped me relax enough to cause good conversation.I KNOW I just need to relax, 'chill dude, just let it happen', but I feel the anxiety is built up too much. I'm considering Viagra or ANYTHING to just get this over with.I have abstained from self-pleasure for a week now, but before, I was heavy into masterbation, with HARDcore porn (how else am I gonna compensate for 23 yr old virgin?).I'm pretty comfortable with my looks, my personality, and my size since I've met this girl, but I still can't perform. I'm very mildly manic depressive, but that shouldn't be an issue unless I was taking medication, right?I'm looking for help/advice, but I'm not looking for these:-relax dude, just let it happen-maybe you're gay (i'm not, never been attracted to a man or male genetalia)-good luckIt may just be that I've been drunk, we'll see, but I'd like to have a backup plan or some confidence-boosting advice.
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Virgin, close to non-virgin, help?
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**My advice, stop trying to lose your virginity...........the whole thing is now SUCH a huge deal that its not happening.........alcohol doesn't help to get and maintain an erection either. There is too much pressure on your to do this now, from yourself, so what your a virgin..........the more you force yourself to do this, the more it could go wrong, the less you will be able to get it up, its all in your head. You HAVE to relax about it all. **
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Usually, the more drunk a man gets, the more difficult is is for him to have an erection. You have to figure out a way to do this without being "fairly drunk", or you're probably just wasting your time.
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i gotta agree Dont Constrate on losing it, but if your gonna this is My adivse and iam younger but hey younge people are having sex, tho iam havent very proud of that but, if your gonna do it Just Chill dont even think about it, just relax act live your in contorl no matter what, sorry for my spelling, and like ive said before, you got to preheat the oven, kisses, hug, snuggle, it doesnt have to go to sex, Live it up, your a virgin your CLEAN, so dont let any one take that till YOUR ready not THEM, Yea iam Younger but i think thats good advise
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Not got much advice to give really here, but I know exactly what you're going through.I've had the same problem, although I'm 22 and my first experience was at 20...but both times I tried, I was sober, and still couldn't manage it. I don't know what it was, but she was scared to touch me, which didn't help.I'm dreading the next time it happens, if it ever does. I've been deliberately avoiding girls for the past year and a half thanks to many bitches ruining things for me.Some might even go as far as saying I hate girls (and those on the forum who know me will roll their eyes) but really after all the chances I've given to different girls I've just had enough, and I'm much happier being single and getting no action.anyway that's nothing to do with this. I think the best advice I can give is to NOT try and get a boner. The harder you try, the more angry with yourself you'll get at the lack of boneration.I might actually suggest viagra actually. I'm under the impression that once you've got the first one out of the way, a lot of the anxiety will fall away.I would also say that if you do decide to follow that path, that you only use it that once, else you may become dependant on it in the future.
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If you go to your local drugstore, there's actually a somewhat wide range of over the counter products specifically designed and marketed to "enchance your mood" (PR talk for making you horny). Getting viagra might be embarrasing and kind of a hassle as you need a prescription.Stop getting drunk before, and set up a romantic relaxing evening. Maybe invite her over to watch a movie and cuddle under a blanket together. Let her take over, and let her know when she makes you feel good. Communication is an excellent way to enhance the feeling of comfort.I understand how it can be frustrating, I had a similar experience with my first sexual encounter which ended far from my ejaculation, leading to dissapointment by her and blah blah. Make sex not about the orgasm and it'll come.
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Almost a week later and she has yet to call me back... I've called her twice and gotten no response. I realize I've been needy in the past, but I tried my best not to come off like that in my messages. Just a 'what's up, i'm goin out tonight, gimme a call' messages.The night in a nutshell-She got out of a long relationship about a month ago, and was raving that 'all men suck' , all they want is sex, and that she was depressed. The whole scene probably would've made any other guy run, but I stayed probably in the hopes that if I can deal with her problems, she can help with mine.I playfully tried to console her which lead to kissing. She then said she didn't want a boyfriend, that I was just a friend who she occasionally made out with, had a lot of fun with, and was willing to sleep with. This kind of eliminates the idea of a 'romantic evening'.Later, she said that she thought that I was falling in love. I gave her a pfft look (even though I am especially fond of her), but it was too late, the l-word was already out there, even if she said it and not me.When we went back to her place and she offered to de-virginize me, I figured 'what the hell, give it a shot'. When it didn't happen, I explained to her that night that it WASN'T her, it was the booze and anxiety. I think despite that, she still FEELS unwanted physically. Women tend to listen to feelings more than logic (damn it all). I think this is why she isn't calling me back. Of course, I have no idea for sure and probably never will. I'll try calling her next week maybe, but after that, I figure it's over. Love sucks.Since that night, I've tried to limit my drinking. But, as the drinking decreases, the anxiety increases. So the next time I might be sober but my nerves could get to me. I'm working out now and trying to keep my mind occupied on other things, but it's still tough. It's funny, now I'm thinking 'all women suck', all they want is sex, and I'm depressed.