Hi Everyone!! I would appreciate it if you'd respond to this question IN YOUR OWN WORDS. [and not in some politically correct 'way']When someone tells you, 'I AM GAY' - what do you immediately ASSUME about them - insofar as what they THINK, FEEL and DO? I know that you don't REALLY know what any person thinks, feels and does - but we all conjure up images of people - and make immediate assumptions about them - even if we know [on an intellectual level] that it's unfair to do so. So... when a person tells you 'I AM GAY' - what do you immediately assume about that person. If that still doesn't make sense - I'll try again!! GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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GAY - what does it mean to YOU?!
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it means you find guys sexy and are physically attracted to them the same way i am to a woman.apart from that,you're a person like i am.just different preference in the sexual sphere.
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gay people are just normal people. just atracted to the same sex.
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i hand out more with a gay friend than any of my other friends,it's chilled,we're exactly the same minus sexual orientation.
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Guess when somone initially says it to you its a little shocking, sometimes its not if the persons camp but you accept it. Doesen't bother me but i know 2 gays and there knobs but its not coz there gay its just the way they are
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I know it may sound strange, but I don't really assume anything at all... And I'm not just saying this. I'm just like "Oki then, that's not really important." I mean, what a person does and who they are attracted to is not my business, so I don't dwell on it. To tell the truth, I really don't care one way or another because if someone builds up the courage to tell me (I don't know about where you're from, but nobody here just out and says it randomly), I know they trust that I'll understand, and to me the fact that they trust me is far more important than whether they like the opposite sex or not. shrugs
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With all due respect to the rest of you - I think only 'ArieNmyralythe' answered my question. [by stating that he/she tends not to assume anything] The rest of you - for the most part - gave me the 'politically correct' response - a response that was 'intellectuallized'. [which is noble - but not what I was looking for] However - 'ArieNmyralythe' - you said [in your response] "....I mean, what a person does....is not my business, so I don't dwell on it." DWELL ON WHAT - exactly?! THAT'S the question!! That's what I'm asking. It's human to make assumptions about people. We may TRY not to - but we can't help ourselves. It's just part of our nature. We instinctively NEED to know whether or not the person we are talking to [or are physically close to] is a 'friend' or 'foe'. Does that make more sense? OR it is just me - and I can't put into words what it is I'm after - clearly enough. GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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so it is wrong to you, to assume that gay people are attracted to members of the same sex,and that in essence is what distinguishes them from hetero peeps?
my answer isnt intended to be pollitically correct.
the fact you say that berrates me. :smile:
my answer implies that gay people think,feel,and do the same things heterosexual people think,feel,and do.
maybe you can clarify what you mean,or contradict me where you think im incorrect. -
I also don't completely understand the question, becuase maybe the way I feel about gay people is politically correct. I wouldn't automatically assume that a gay guy was into wearing thongs or anything, I mean, you can hardly ever tell the person is gay anyway unless they tell, you. But I suppose what I assume about the person is simply that they are atrracted to the same sex, and I won't be able to see other differences between me and them before I get to know them a little.
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Hi secret_searcher AND justice4_!! Let me ask you this. If you were at a party and someone came up to you and said, "Hi - I'm Bob. I'm a Born-Again Christian!" Would you [or would you NOT] immediately assume things about Bob - insofar as what HE thinks and feels, etc.? I realize that after giving it some thought [which may only take a few moments - for those of us who TRY not to assume things about people] you would realize that you really don't know anything about Bob - other than what he told you. But wouldn't your immediate response be full of assumptions? Would you not - perhaps - even find yourself backing away from 'Bob' - based on nothing more than what you are assuming about him? To make this far more personal - I'm gay. Does that surprise you? What if I said that the last time I had any sexual contact [with someone other than myself!!] was way back in April of 1997. [which is true] Would that surprise you? What if I said that I have never been to a Pride Parade, am not 'into' anal sex and don't support the idea of 'gay marriages'? If any of the above made you go, 'hmm' or 'oh really' - then you assumed things about ME based solely on the fact that I told you that I was gay. Do you see what I'm getting at?THAT is the basis of the original question. I think it's highly unlikely that anyone [no matter how genuinely good-hearted they are] could possibly avoid making assumptions about someone else. We all do. So my question was, 'what do you assume about someone who is gay? What do you think THEY think, feel and DO?' Hopefully - I'm starting to make more sense!! If not - oh well. It wouldn't be the first time that I was the only person who knew what I was talking about!! lolGREAT BIG HUGCraig!!
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yeah i see what you're saying, thats why you speak to people instead of shying away from them,to find out what they think,feel and do.you know,to dispel false assumptions.so why dont you support gay marriage,and go to pride parades,and have sexual contact with other people?that is if you dont mind elaborating.
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In reply to:However - 'ArieNmyralythe' - you said [in your response] "....I mean, what a person does....is not my business, so I don't dwell on it." DWELL ON WHAT - exactly?! THAT'S the question!! That's what I'm asking. What I meant by saying that is simply that it's not my place to ponder all the private things that other people do; I don't dwell on the fact that whomever I'm talking to is gay. Perhaps I made a poor word choice, but my point is that I really don't care what people do, so I'm generally not going to think about it unless they want to talk about it. shrugs Like I said, I know it's strange not to have any real assumptions about a person when they tell me; but that's just something that I think in most cases is as intellectually irrelevant as the color of your hair or your eyes or something like that.
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Alright, I didnt read the whole thread but i read the first post. Mainly because I don't want my thoughts to be altered.I know two gay men. They are two totally different people. I like one of them (not in a sexual sense) and i don't really care for the other one. I don't care that they are gay and i don't really care if they become attracted to me. The only time where i would care is if they start to push their feelings on me (if they liked me) and tried to 'convert' me.The gay guy I dont care for is very flambouyant (sp?) and tries to tell me about all his sexual encounters. I find this disgusting and as a heterosexual male don't find the conversation anything but distastful. He just doesn't do it for conversation, he tries to gross me out. Not only does he do this, he is very stuck up and thinks he is better then everyone else.The other gay guy is actually enjoyable to hang out with. HE doesn't push his stories on me and we can act like two friends without a worry. He doesnt act stuck up all the time I feel he has taken a special interest in my girlfriend so he might be bisexual but who cares. All in all, its not sexual preference. If some guy comes up to me and tells me hes gay, who cares? He likes dudes, its basically none of my business. Its all about personality. Personally, before i entered my senior year, i was scared of both of them. I had the wierd idea that all gay guys were bad and they all wanted to get with me. I came to reality when i thought they were basically just like anyone else. They dont like all of the sex they are attracted too.If this is too 'politically correct' then im sorry.
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basically craid, everyone in this thread wants to put in their 2 bob worth blah blah blahthe easy answer is - we all automatically 'judge' in the first instant that someone says i am gay no matter the context.I, myself am gay, and im taken back if someone says that to me, but i always take everything with a laugh and i always seem to go ha ha oh really, haha god i feel like a dickhead ha!and when it comes to the uncomfortable part of being around a gay person incase they crack onto you.....well everyone feels this, im gay and i do around other gays, its the same feeling for a hetro not wanting that really really ugly girl to crack on to him lolomigod this was supposed to be a short thread, damn, ive gone and put my 2 fuckin bobs in, oh well, ill try better next timerememberwe all judge in out mind, its where we take it from there thats important
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Well, that question is, I guess tough. If someone told me they were gay, then what would I do? Well, I would say "okay, and what do you want me to do?" I mean its their life, and that doesnt affect me. My friends brother is gay, yes he looks different, but that doesnt change me, does it?