The No Boyfriend Blues

---

If I don't get a boyfriend soon, I'm going to just die, right here in front of my computer. Seriously, I know it's not that big of a deal, but I get lonely. There was a guy sitting next to me in class, he rubbed his hand through his hair, and if I had a penis I would have gotten an erection. I walk around campus and there's always those vocal couples holding hands. I just want the simple and maybe even, old fashioned love. Nothing special, I'm not much of a romantic. Just the basics. Is it even possible to find a guy who doesn't want to hump every moving thing? Sometimes I wish I could find someone exactly like me, even as crooked as I am. There would be no need for explainations, no misunderstanding, and we could cry on each other. What kind of dilema would I face, if I said I wanted a guy that was attracted to me and wanted to be with me, but wasn't into to the casual sex? I want the feelings to be there, but I want someone who can handle not having sex maturely. Life is so complicated. Most people seem to have the same expections for a relationship and if you just happen to not want what the masses want, you're screwed. So unfair. I'm tired of settling. Thanks for listening...and replying.

Aye its true, theres this relationship streight jacket that society keeps trying to force on us. I suppose when it comes ot getting what you want you have to be patient.

I like muffins, bannana nut are my favorite.

I didnt even know such a flavour existed Though I'm not sure what your getting at

I read your quote. I just like muffins. Is there a hidden meaning I don't know about, 'cause then that would be awkward?

Oh yes! The quote! Theres no hidding meaning, muffins just happen to be good. The muffins in context were the toasted, breakfast variety. I had some for this morning's breakfast actualy.

I'm not quite certain I read your post correctly... In reply to: I want the feelings to be there, but I want someone who can handle not having sex maturely. What exactly does that mean? The rest of your post seems to suggest you're looking for someone with old-fashioned values, but you confused me with that part....

Well, I just mean someone that's not going to be throwing around hints that he want to have sex -- someone that understands that it's not going to happen and is willing to shut up about it. I just want someone old fashioned with thier veiws of when to have sex.

yes i'm a guy and i sorta am the person u explained. i'm sure there's plenty of guys like me out there, so just look around

if you dont have a boyfriend, no offence, but its probably because you either never go out, dont look after your appearance, or have some kind of huge social disorder. either way, complaining wont help. just look in the mirror and re evaluate yourself.

Good God - I just hope you were joking there!

You make it sound so simple. If you don't have your breasts hanging out, mid drift showing, or look completely flawless, you don't get noticed. At least I haven't yet. I'm not the mass's ideal of beauty, but I wouldn't consider myself bad off. I'm not a very talkative person, and most people seem to not like that. I don't go out much, I don't like clubs. I shouldn't have to be someone else for people to like me.It seems in real life, just like on here, often the people you come in contact with aren't the nicest of people. Decent people are hard to come by and finding what I want is hard. Now, I could just suck it up and find a guy that tells me to look in the mirror and reevaluate myself, but like I said I don't want to settle.

Then don't settle, you don't have to conform to everyone else's ideals of what a 'woman' should look/act/dress/talk like. If you don't like clubs, then don't go to them simply because people say you should, go somewhere you enjoy being instead. I've learned that before you can find happieness with someone else, you've got to be happy with yourself first. I repeat, NO man will make YOU happy unless you're happy with yourself. I know that is so cliche, and I hope I don't sound too blunt but most guys our age only care about getting thier jollies off and they don't know how to grow up and have relationships. There's more to a relationship than sex, but most younger guys do not understand that. You don't have to settle for anything, just be who you are and don't try to make yourself fit into someone else's mold, there is no point in it. Be the woman you are on the inside and give it time. There are no miricle solutions for finding a boyfriend (believe me, I know for a fact), it's not like you'll be sitting at home one night and magically a man will fall in your lap out of no where (again, believe me, I wish it did happen that way prays for Johnny Depp to fall through my roof). You have to give it time, you have to get out there and be social, get out there and do things you have fun doing, get out there and just have fun and when you least expect it, the man of your dreams will knock you off your feet hon!

Nice hair on a girl is really important...it can make or break getting noticed.That said, be sure you know who you are. This is important because, until you know this, you won't know what to look for in a guy. You want someone who compliments you...not somebody who's exactly like you. And lastly, be patient...he will find you when you both are ready. Sometimes our own ideas about what we want end up making us make mistakes the cause us to lose somebody who might be just perfect for us.

I think you right. The situation is just the same with the male and female reversed. Theres always going to be some people who fit in the mould and things will be easier in various ways for them, while there will be people who have to find other ways. It does, however, sound like she knows what she wants and just cant find it. I dont know how she could find it though so alot of help I am. I think its just a matter of patience.

"I shouldn't have to be someone else for people to like me"I'm glad you know this luv, keep hold of that thought and dont ever let anybody convince you otherwise.x

Thanks y'all, for being positive.

In reply to:f you don't have your breasts hanging out, mid drift showing, or look completely flawless, you don't get noticed. uh, well i go to a high school where none of that is allowed and plenty of girls get noticed.In reply to:It seems in real life, just like on here, often the people you come in contact with aren't the nicest of people. i hope that wasbt directed at me, because, my post may not have been the most structured, but im not a nasty person. all i meant is people who are really depressed about being single are usually not very confident, and having confidence in the way you look gives you confidence in how you feel. but, i do apologise, i was a little insesnsitive, i wrote it at like 5am.

In high school I was never one of those girls.Things have happened to me that have made me feel less confident. I dress nice, I comb my hair everyday, and I don't smell. I may be depressed, but that doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. Like I said, I don't think I'm that bad off, but that doesn't change people's reactions toward me. I guess I look scarey or mean or something. I don't think I look that threatening. I'm only five foot tall. That wasn't just directed towards you, I've run into alot of people that upset me first contact. Little things get to me.

actually i meant that about starfishes post,i do again apologize about my post earlier. its not entirely true what i said and i wasnt giving good, practical advice. anyway, allow me to redeem myself:im sure your problem comes from a lack of confidence, and a lack of good self image. this is not your fault, its a human thing that many of us go through. anyway, you need to put yourself out there- make new friends, meet new people, and when you do you'll see how theres nothing really wrong with you and you're going to be okay. i hope that was better.-max