Hey guys, I thought I would take the time to vent a personal experience here and see if anyone could offer me any advice.Warning: Potentially long post.I suppose I will start from the very begining- about 4 years ago. I was in the 8th grade and a lot of my friends were in the 9th grade. One day at the begining of the school year, I was introduced to a friend of a friend (they are both a year older than me). We will call her "Jessie" to spare her real name. I was immediately attracted to her, but being a fairly shy person, I kept it to myself. Jessie and I became friends over the school year, we hung out together occasionally, went to movies every once in a while, etc, etc. This continued for a couple of years and my small crush grew into a pretty deep love. Of course... not wanting to ruin our friendship (and save myself from potential embarassment), I didn't tell her how I really felt.-Years passed-Jessie is in her senior year of highschool and I am a junior. We are still friends, the school year passes like the others. We hang out occassionally (usually with other people), go to movies, your other friendly activities, etc. I still keep my feelings from her.-The year ends, Jessie graduates-Within that past year we had seemed to grow even closer than before, I could have even sworn that she may have felt the same thing for me that I felt for her. But of course... I am still to afraid of what I could potentially ruin- So I bring nothing up.The summer comes, we are still friends. Until one day I finally gather the balls, and tell her straight to her face. I pour out my soul- similar to how I am right now. And I get rejected in the sweetest, yet most mentally crushing way possible."I just want to be friends."-Fast forward about 3 months to today-We are still (kind of) friends, yet things are different. We don't seem to be as close as we were before and we rarely see eachother unless we are with a group of our other friends. I thought telling her how I felt and getting denied might get her off of my mind, but I was wrong. Now I have to face the fact that I have been in love with someone for four years who I KNOW doesn't feel the same way.I can't help but feel that I have wasted my time up to my senior year in highschool by being so focused on her and ignoring other potential relationships. I have no clue where to go from here...I still love her..Well, There it is. My story. Does anyone have any advice for this poor S.O.B.? If not, Thats fine. Thanks for taking the time to read this (long) post about something that I have never fully told to anyone before.-Not Applicable
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Sad Story- Seeking advice.
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You feel you have wasted your time having these feelings for her, but worrying about that fact is also a waste of time. You can't help how you feel, so stop beating yourself up about it, you might have not seen potential relationships because of how you feel about her, but you can change that from now on. As for still loving her, sometimes we just have to accept that feelings are one way, and deal with it and move on, it won't be easy, but you owe it to yourself to get out there and find someone who loves you back. Good luck.
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And it's also important to remember that just because a relationship didn't pan out the way you had hoped, doesn't mean it wasn't worth having or pursuing. Doesn't mean it wasn't a worthwhile experience.
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You could always stalk her? I'm just saying....Serious bit. You NEVER EVER get over your love(s). Not just you’re first one either. And it never gets easier.(I couldn't be arsed to read your post fully, it was too long and I have a short attentiBut my thoughts/advice:Dig yourself a mental hole; tell yourself life’s not worth living. Mope around your house for a few days, and befriend some animals which "understand" how you are feeling. THEN once all that is done, get your arse out the door and tell yourself it is not that bad. Believe me, everything you have said (at least what I read) has happened to me. GET YOURSELF OUT OF IT.If it is not going to happen, (you are probably saying, "it might" right now, but be realistic) then just accept it. I don’t care how you do it, but you HAVE TO. Hire a hooker or something I don’t know. The best “Dr Nuts approve” way is to get yourself a girlfriend. I know its hard but you have to forget about her and get on with your life. If you can’t, use the suggestion at the start of the post. Getting over it may be hard, but it definitely is simple!Mr. Nuts
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As Angel said, you are continuing to waste your time now, just for a different reason. I have wasted time for those reasons myself, and anybody who hasnt probably isnt a fully functioning human being in that there are probably some pathways in the brain responsible for emotions that are not wired up properly, so feeling this way certainly dosent make you an SOB!The thing to remember is that none of us will get back a single wasted moment. I think if we all were very attuned to the reality of that thought we would waste a good deal less time. I think it's time to get out there and start really enjoying your life, go out of your way to meet new people and have new experiences and always keep yourself open to the possibility of finding love where you least expect it, because believe me, that's usually where it shows up! Good luck with that.
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Thanks guys, Definitely some good stuff to think about.