Ever wonder what you did?

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To diserve what happens to you when something bad happened and its like, Wtf I never done anything to diserve this, what did I do in my past life that I am suffering from it now.Though I admit, I like this site, it has a board set out just for depressions and health and stuff.Don't worry I ain't planning on suicide or cutting, I just need to say some stuff to somebody, anyone! to get it off my chest, though I can't go into super detail, because I do not wish to be found by someone I know, I know I know I shouldn't worry about it, but... I am weird like that.Anyway too the point, and I've started to wonder, what I have done to diserve what I been through, I know your probably thinking, yep another wine story what else is new, just remember its not nice to make fun of people for sucking hehe, oh yeah this isn't getting to the point.I ain't that old, however in my pre-teen years, I met a girl that I really really liked, and perhaps though I might have loved, it was fine but at christmas was the last day I spent with her and my best friend, it was I suppose one of the best days I ever had in my life, unfourtantly.A few days later her mom decided to run off with some guy for awhile, I was depressed of this, then to make it worse someone called one of my family members that knew her and told them she was raped(though still alive) this hurt me badly.As if these wasn't enough, my bestfriend was kidnapped basically, by some other family members and they won costudy(sp?) over him, they live about 175 or so miles away, so I don't get to see him anymore and wont for probably 5 more years. if I am that lucky.My other so called friends, basically ignore my exsistance for the most part, one of them hasn't said to stop calling her flat out but everytime I call, oh I am watching tv I can't talk bye.My parents always argue with me blah blah well thats not uncommon. but still why am I being treated this way? I mean just all of a sudden my friends ignore me, I know I can't blame anyone from losing my crush but still.And I believe in god, but sometimes things make people wonder, my crush was a christian, as nice as she could be, her mother was a horrible dope adict who had her do everything for her, her damn mom wouldn't pick up the phone if it was laying in her hand. yet she never said a bad word too or about her mother. Miricals happen all the time, why was there non happening to prevent her from getting raped, if anyone she diserved a mirical preventing rape.Ok I am getting a little out of whack, nobody diserves to get raped but there have been plenty of girls wearing skirts so short everytime they walk you can see their underwear or shorts that are so short you can see their knt and ass. and a somethign I'm not even sure that just covers their brests(like some kind of band.That have very slutty aditudes, and can be *****es that its no wonder they got raped. I... I dunno, but yeah. I just had to get that all off my chest

Welcome to AfraidToAsk, TheFallenLight.Bad things happen in this world. Being good and doing the right thing doesn't guarantee you happiness - often the reverse. (The central point of Christianity is God coming to earth and getting tortured and killed.) That doesn't mean you shouldn't care about bad things - you should. But the movies get it wrong when there's some miraculous change that puts everything right. That doesn't usually happen, and it rings false anyway. There is more to respect in people, in their weakness, facing and enduring the unfaceable and the unendurable.It sounds like your friends don't know how to cope with a friend who has had bad experiences that they haven't had, someone who needs to talk. That happens a lot.

It's no wonder that scantily dressed girls get raped? I suppose you're right, it is no wonder really, while there are men out there with attitudes like yours.

That was not my intention, sorry if it sounded like it, I am not meaning to say slutty girls should be raped, I was just saying, there are plenty out there that dress and act slutty and then people wonder why they were raped.I am bad at wording things and often make people think I ment something I didn't

I'm sorry, but I'm not buying this post. No offense to the OP if you're genuine, but this smacks of someone phishing for internet predators to me. I don't see much to respond to, here. Sorry.

I think what TheFallenLight is trying so say... is that sometimes certain girls give out ALOT of the wrong messages, almost as if they're asking for sex, and when some sick person comes along and "rapes" them. The reason for the inverted commas, is becuase a girl could be drunk and giving out ever-stronger signals, a guy comes along, picks up the wrong impression, willingly goes to bed with him, makes her pregnant... sobered up oh I've been raped!!!I've known this to have happened

I'd still wonder why a stark naked woman (or man) was raped; I'd wonder where the sort of evil comes from in a person who'd be prepared to destroy a persons confidence, contentedness and sexual expression for life in order to get a few moments of 'pleasure', if you could even call it that.If all you've said is true you've been through a hard time and I dont want to make anybodys hard times worse, but I dont think comments like that should go unchallanged. I've been sexually assaulted and I know people who've been both raped in adulthood and sexually abused in childhood and I can assure you it puts an absoloute END to life as you know it and I dont think what a person is wearing has any bearing on wheather there ought to be any sense of 'wonder', or lack of it, about why it happened to them. It happened because they were unfortuante enough to be abused by some sick evil fuck with no respect for humanity or grasp of human decency - end of story.Has it occured to you that every rapist justifys his deeds to himself in some way, and that in the case of the girl you're talking about he may have justified his actions to himself, not based on how she was dressed, but in some other equally unjust and sickening way?

In response to that I'd direct you to the final paragraph of my post above. Justifying rape because of the victims perceived 'signals' or 'behaviours' i.e, inebriated condition, is no different to justifying it on the grounds of clothing or any other equally ridiculous justification. In any case, if a woman is falling around drunk out of her head it takes an advantage-taking opportunist to have sex with her in the first place, even if she is actually willing, because every man who's ever been drunk himself will know to ask himself 'how willing can you actually be' in that condition. Also if she "willingly goes to bed with him" does that automatically mean she wants sex? I've gotten into bed with men for sleep and nothing else and have been left to rest with no bullshit involved. Maybe I'm misinterpreting you here so I'll give you a chance to respond on this point; are you saying if a woman gets into a bed with a man that gives him rights over her body?

I'm not justifyin rape at all, it's a terrible thing, all I'm saying, is that people give out wrong signals, maybe some people interpret them wrongly, in other cases, some interpret rightly.

I never said that you were justifying rape Nostradamus; I said that it wasn’t right for rapists to justify their actions, and a lot of them do indulge in those delusions, such as the ridiculous notion that if a women is drunk and also happens to be wearing a mini-skirt it also follows that she is seeking sex, which is pure fucking nonsense; if women were routinely raped every time they got drunk in mini-skirts some women would be raped every other weekend of their lives.As for some men "interpreting rightly" regarding somebody’s "signals", I'm sure if somebody has sophisticated enough an antenna of comprehension to decode a strangers "signals" they'll also have no problem decoding their language - the word 'no' is a very straightforward example.

What nostra said is what I was trying to say I just suck badly at saying stuff D=