Ok, I posted about 2 weeks ago about this girl who I'm absolutely nuts about. I'm crazy about her and shes crazy about me but she has a boyfriend. I asked whether or not I should tell her how I feel, you told me I should and I did. Thanks a lot guys, its moved things along a lot but here's my problem now
I'm studying at university and I moved back to university on saturday. This girl (Wendy) has been eagerly anitcipating my arrival, txting me emailing me, myspacing me, saying that she can't wait for me to come back. Anyway, we arranged that we should meet up, so we sorted that we'd watch a few films round my place, get some booze in and enjoy the night. That was last night, but let me explain.
The orginal plan was that we'd get some booze in, have a few drinks whilst playing xbox or watching films, then I'd give up my bed for her, and i'd sleep downstairs in my living room on my inflatable bed (its dead comfy)
What actually happened was radically different. She came round abut half 7, and we played on xbox for a bit, watched some episodes of south park. We then decided to go out to the bar where my friend and housemate works. It was really really great, there was a live band playing and my mate gave me and her free shots all night. He knows how much I like Wendy and wanted to help me out
We made our way home, and we were both tipsy by this time, and made our way into my room. I poured another glass of vodka for me and her and slap on a film, Groundhog day.
Whilst watching it, I said "I need to pull out that inflatable bed" to which she replied "Both me and you know that you're staying here tonight" which kinda shocked me, but in a good way
The conversation went onto what sort of girl I liked she said "When I read your myspace, it said you like blonde blue eyed girls" which shes not. Shes a brunette with deep dark brown beautiful eyes.
I replied "But I still think your absolutely beautiful" and that was it. We started kissing and kissing. we were rolling around on the bed kissing, fondling. She took off her bra and top for me, I reached into her pants and fingered her. This went on for hours.
Then, I stupidly said, "look, are we affairing?" because her boyfriend lept into my mind. She stopped, looked at me and started to get dressed
she said "I can't keep doing this to you, I can't keep teasing you and myself" and I told her that I really like her and I want to be with her no matter what. She lept on top of me again, and we started kissing and fondling again. I think if I hadn't mentioned anything, we would've ended up having sex.
We eventually fell asleep at 4, facing each other, in each others arms.
I woke up this morning at 8 and she woke with me, we were staring into each others eyes smiling. We hugged and held each other, but didn't kiss. She got dressed, I watched her.
She told me "Please don't mention this to anyone, if you do it'll destroy everything" I said I wouldn't and proceeded to see her off.
The whole ordeal has left me terribly confused. That last remark has made me think it was nothing but a drunken mistake. Shes been on msn, and I've tried to talk about it but shes dodging. I need to talk to her, because drunken mistake or not, it felt incredible. She made me feel indescrible, a feeling I've never felt before, a good feeling. I know she liked it too, because shes been happy today and was happy when I left her.
I thought at first I might have taken advantage of her, but I qualled that with the fact that if was a mistake, we wouldn't have been doing it for 4 hours. Also she was on top of me part of the time, so she knew what was happening.
I want Wendy as my girlfriend so much. I want to be able to do what happened last night over and over, hold her in my arms, kiss her, stroke her hair, wake up looking into those beautiful eyes. But I feel guilty becuase of her boyfriend, I feel confused becuase she seems to be dodging the issue, I feel like I'm gonna go nuts if things carry on. Please guys, I need your advice, what should I do. Wendy is the most incredible girl I have ever ever met.