Please take my post seriously with some helpful advice thanksI'm pretty much getting sick of my parents getting on me about everything. I'm not perfect and I never will be perfect nor do I plan on working to perfect myself. I try my best at everything I do and if it's not good enough for them then they have to deal with it. My school is pretty hardcore in education. Despite the billions of fights that break out and the times we've been on tv or the paper for violence they are strict in their work. And my sophomore year is really taking a punch out of me. I have always done my best to get good grades specifically because of my parents. I've been a straight A student for God knows how long and I honestly do work hard at it. And my parents take it lightly when I get the excellency award or whatever. So it's like if I make one little slip up all hell breaks loose. One itty bitty little quiz that I happen to fail or get anything less of a 90 and they say I'm off the ball game. Give me a break. I make mistakes to you know. And I love my parents alot. I appreciate them giving me life and feeding me and clothing me. But it's like I'm tired of it. My sister got accepted into one of America's best schools and my brothers have all made it successfully working with the FBI and traveling the world and I feel like they expect me to amount to something as great as what they do. And it is putting pressure on me. It's not like I don't want to do something great and make them proud but I'm not like my sister or brothers and they shouldn't expect me to be the exact same way. I always get the same lecture from them since the moment I started middle school about how people are always going to see my skin first and judge me right on the spot so education is a big deal to them. But it's tiring. I'm sick of having to work twice as hard as most people. The fact that I can't even get a below average/average grade without my mother getting on my case and yelling at me in french is hard enough. I'm only 15 basically and I enjoy dancing. It keeps me happy. Dancing and God is my life right there along with chocolate lol. My mom is happy when I take ballet and contemporary but what I like is hip hop and step and playing soccer with friends you know, it defines me. Basically... she needs to take a chill pill. Stop badgering me about everything. She sees me in a way that isn't me and if I slip up from what she wants me to be it's like I'm in the wrong. I just don't know how to tell her. I do have a fear of my parents which is considered a good thing in a matter of respect at least from where I come from and how I was raised. I don't want to be disrespectful.
Yes, it's too easy for parents to take things for granted - to get so used to the really good they take it as the standard or the minimum. I suppose we all fall into that trap, and it's only when things go bad that we realise how good they were before.
I try as a parent not to have expectations, because I think they do more harm than good. But so many parents see their children as extensions of themselves, which I think is very wrong.
I don't know how to advise you, JapanFan14, except to keep your sense of self, and sense of proportion. Many people in your situation rebel and drop out, but that usually hurts them more. Assert yourself where it is appropriate and you can, choosing your battles wisely - in this way your wishes will gradually be given more respect.
My parents had a lot set for what I needed to do to become what I wanted to become. They weren't as strict as what you describe your parents to be... but I also had to go through a time of "proving myself". You have to show that you're transitioning from a child into and grownup, and you're somewhat reaching the better end of it all. Have an intelligent conversation with your parents. Let them know how you feel in a very diplomatic way. By diplomatic way, I mean agree with MOST of what they have taught you, just try to add onto it.When I was "transitioning", I had to basically tell my dad that even though I followed his orders like a drone most of the time I also had feelings as well. It all turned into a very heated conversation, but it never blew up into something we couldn't control. In the end, we both better knew where we each stood.Here's an idea of what I'm talking about. In a conversation with you mom/dad, explain that you understand that they love you and they only want the best for you. This is their reason for pushing you so hard.Then you want to create an atmosphere where they can sympathize with you.Don't you feel like sometimes you need an instant gratification for something your working toward? Or maybe just an outlet or a release of some sort? Mom, you know how you () whenever you feel like you're having a bad day or (). Well, I feel like I need something like that too and I've found that release in Dancing for example hereSee where I'm going with this? I had to cut it short. Sorry.
Hiya, I think the best thing you could do here is ask your parents would they mind having a conversation with you, then very gently (and respectfully!) voice your concerns.I can tell you, as a parent myself, they're almost certain to be glad to see you communicating with them honestly and openly, and as long as things dont get heated you're in with a good chance of making some progress on the issue of your concerns.You've more than one concern, so I think a good way of keeping things calm would be to begin by, before putting each seperate concern to them, validating their view on the matter by saying, for example on the issue of education; "I know how important it is to get good grades in order to get ahead in life, I know you're both right on that point". Do you get what I'm saying? That sort of approach should take the heat out of the situation, because they will see that there is no need to press their concerns as you already 'get it'. If you show your parents a level of maturity they werent fully expecting it should have the effect of easing their fears for you somewhat, in turn easing the rigidity with which they feel they have to parent you; so whatever you do or however you feel, keep calm and let them see you're not an irrational child! Us parents have big problems letting go of that view of our kids, believe me, so you want to be very careful not to add any fuel to the fire! Also (again, gently!) explain that you are feeling under stress, and do so in such a way so as not to lay all the blame of that stress at their door, as that would only make them defensive, parents are only human too! No parent wants their child to feel stressed, I promise you, and when they hear that pressure is building up in you they will feel a natural urge to allieviate it.If you decide to have that talk with them, good luck, and let me know how you got on, x.