I'v had a history of drugs use... i tried pot for the 1st time freshmean year in highschool.....and it progressed from once a month to 5/6 x a day within a year. Then eventually senior i was fuckin around a good amount with coke, and pain pills (roxies, vikatins, bars), i even went as far as X and smokin opiumn a couple times...with smokin crack once. On top of that i drank a good amount of alcohol beer/liquor. I got sent to a 30-day impatient program at a rehab center...i learned alot there and til this day i feel guilty when i do hard drugs because of it because i now have a picture of what could happen heart attacks and shit.I got out of rehab 4 months ago smokin pot the first night. and til this day i smoke pot daily and drink a good amount of beer. I'l do a roxy or a bar once in awhile like a maybe every month or so.....i liked them but never cared for them to much. To risky and expensive. I also did coke a handful of times when i got out but havent touched it in about a month. I ended up dropping out of highschool end of my senior year even though i had already been barely accepted into a college.I'd rather had smoked that day instead of gone to school..even though i had intentions of making up my work. I went to rehab after i dropped out where i got my GED.I got lucky and got accepted into the same college with my GED because i had a high SAT score. It's also to much on my wallet, i spend stupid amounts of money on it and just leave myself with just enough to get by. I dont make any car parents to my parents who helped me buy a car, and use the excuse its slow at work (waitering), which it is, but nevertheless i spent it all on pot gas and beer. Also i get drug tested every now and then by my parents, if i fail i get kicked out of the house....i'm already on strike 3 with them. I bullshit the drug tests with fake urine i buy in head shops. Which also costs me $50 a pop. I start school in January and i want to have this shit under control so i dont fail out again because im to lazy to do work. I need to go to the gym and get in shape to...i tried a few times and il go for a few weeks and then "forget." or put it off and then dont go at all. I feel like a piece of shit for not payin my parents what i owe them or never havin a steady bank account for myself.....but at the same time i love smoking pot. i relax that way and i dont go to work high or anything. I'm very cautious when driving with it and dont do anything stupid with it. I dont care for hard drugs to much smoking a joint and night and having a couple beers makes me happy. And i think in moderation it would be ok. But i cant do it. I try to quit smokin cigs every day but never pull through after a day...not to mention i spend so much money on pot im broke. I dont know what to do i dont really want to quit smoking. any advice would be appreciated thanks.
Need help puttin down the dam drugs!!!
Hi Dom, I can't help with advice - that needs someone who has been through it him/herself - but I do want to say that the fact you can assess the problem so well is a very good start.I wonder to what extent your lack of confidence in yourself is part of the problem?
First off how old are you? I'm 22, been there done it. Now what im about to tell you is NOT the reccomended means of doing so, but its what worked for me. I spent the years from 13-17 addicted to ritalin. Then when they quit prescribing it I switched over to cocaine. After nearly dying from cocaine, I decided it was time to quit drugs. Nonetheless less than a month later I was eating pills like crazy. It eventually turned into an opiate addiction lasting about 2 months, but then my grandma went into the hospital because she didnt have her oxycontins that I had stole from her, and got pnemonia from it, almost died. that really hit me hard at home, the woman raised me and did everything for me for the longest time and I repayed her by sending her to the hospital. I felt so bad Ive not touched them since. Then I met a girl who was a pothead, and slowly began smoking even tho I had never tried it until age 19. For 2 years I smoked about a quarter to a half ounce a day of some pretty good stuff. well during that 2 years I had 8 upper respritory tract infections. I lost everything I owned to it and was forced to move back in with my mother about a year ago. When I did so, I gave up drugs because I respected my family too much. My mom has always done everything she could for me. I got to the low point, where I owned nothing, had no friends, and even my family probobaly somewhat despised me. I hit rock bottom. The withdrawl was horrible. then I had to get my own place. I started smoking pot heavily again. when bill time came I had to ask mom for $ to pay rent and such. Then one day It just kinda hit me, im a loser. I decided from that day on, I was never going to ask for money again, and to take care of things. I quit drugs for 2 months, to catch up on bills, and clear my mind. once I was ahead on bills, I went and smoked one weekend, just for fun. It was great, Not only did I get incredibly high, but I didnt feel guilty doing it because I could actuallly afford it. Now Im a casual weekend smoker, I only buy it when I can, and weed is the last thing on my priority list. the day comes when u have to grow up and be a man, this means taking care of urself in every aspect. A waiter job is probobaly most of the problem, its hard to budget when you dont know how much you're going to make. Sounds to me like u need a real job, and to get ur head on straight. How long do you think this is going to last? Are you planning at all for your future? I think not. Pot most likely makes u unmotivated and make bad decisions. Theres such a thing as moderation, but if u cant tell urself no to some damn weed than u need to get ur life straight bro. Luckily I had a good caring family, and I just kinda grew out of it a little bit. Sure being high is fun, but so is having ur own place, ur own things, and being able to say u paid for them. Have you no pride? Heres a book for ya : The complete idiots guide to organizing your life... it helped me a bunch. Dont lose everything before you turn it around, although I was told that 100x before I did it, because I had to hit that bottom myself. if one thing I learned was to listen what others tell u if they have been there. Now if the day comes where u get ur shit straight, then u can buy a dime bag on a weekend or something, and smoke. But if u have the desire to buy it before something you know you need, than that plan wont work for you. If you can beat cocaine, you can beat weed, dont ever let the drugs get ahold of u because when you're not in control you do things you will later regret. I hope this was helpfull to you, god bless