In reply to: It seems the popular question recently is something to the effect of, "how do I avoid the friends ladder and climb the dating ladder?"It starts early in the process. When you first meet a girl, don't try too hard. Really listen to what she has to say. Avoid bragging or talking about yourself too much. Feed her a little information, and leave it at that. Keep a mysterious element. If you've got her wanting to know more, there's a better chance that she'll hang out with you one on one... essentially a date.The one-on-one session (date) is where a lot of guys have a problem. I think I'll post a thread about this in fact... I thought this would be helpful for some of these guys who are getting stuck on the friends ladder all the time. I've been there done that. I hated it, so I did something about it.Here's to the nice guys:The spending game:1. Do not try to buy her heart. When you go out on a first date, don’t lavish her with gifts, flowers, fine dining, etc. Ask yourself, “does she really deserve it?” Generally on a first date, you don’t really know her enough to know the answer to that question. You don’t want to come off as a cheap bastard either. So if it comes to something cheap, like a small cup of coffee, don’t make it into something trivial.2. Do not reward bad behavior without mention. She shows up late to your date, you put on that fake smile, and you buy her meal without anything to say about it. Are you going to let her use you like that? A lot of guys do. Pointing out that she was late can even be fun. For example, with a smile on your face, say “It’s about time. You know, the night just started and you’ve already been a bad girl.” You may even throw in a “Looks like you’ll have to make it up to me, what do you think?”3. Let the date be about YOU and NOT your MONEY. A good first date would be something like meeting up for coffee and maybe afterwards a stroll through a nearby park. First dates that give you a chance to talk and get to know each other, without having to spend an arm and a leg, are good ideas.The good, the bad, and the different:1. You want to be a nice guy, but don’t be too much of a nice guy. Guys who are trying to be too nice are overly conscious about offending the girl he’s with. In this state, it’s not uncommon for the guy to be hesitant, boring, and nervous.2. You don’t want to be a jerk, but you do want to use certain characteristics of a jerk to your advantage. A jerk is generally relaxed because he doesn’t care if he offends the girl he’s with. RELAXED is the key word. A jerk has a fun element to him. For example, he may smack his date’s ass or decide to do something spontaneous and funny to entertain himself. FUN is the key word.3. The different is what girls are generally looking for. You don’t want to offend anyone, but you also need to be relaxed. She’s a person too. Stop trying so hard and caring so much about whether or not you’ll succeed with this particular girl. You never really fail because every date is a learning experience. Keep this state of mind and it will help you relax. If you’re relaxed, it’s much easier to have fun.Chivalry is alive and well1. First of all, understand what common chivalry is. Opening and closing the car door, holding doors open and letting her go first, complimenting her on what she’s wearing, and holding her hand while going down a stair case are good examples of displaying chivalry.2. Don’t extend small acts of chivalry into something bigger than what it is. A guy can be who is completely chivalrous can also be the perfect gentleman… The only thing about this is “perfect” is generally boring. Have FUN. When you open her door for her cross your eyes and look at her or after holding her hand down a staircase go in for a little tickle fight.3. Small chivalrous acts give off many signs of having good character. If you open doors for her and hold her hand down stair cases, most likely you’re also the kind of guy that will take care of her when she’s sick.There's a lot more to it... but just to get you started with SOMETHING. The funnest part is finding what works for you!
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Successful dating / avoiding the friends ladder
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You may even throw in a “Looks like you’ll have to make it up to me, what do you think?”Okay, not to be technical, but I don't think that will go over well with some women. Some women may take that as a guy trying to get them in bed and may offend them on the first "date." Instead, I would say something like, "Well, it looks like you're gonna have to buy me dinner instead," (if he's the one buying dinner) with a sly smile or a wink. If he isn't the one buying dinner, then he could say something witty (and cheesy) like, "Did you get stuck in the mirror admiring your beautiful face?" I know that's cheesy, but it will make her chuckle.
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You may even throw in...If getting a woman to jump into bed with you as quickly as possible, it's a way to filter out the women who aren't interested. I'm not sure that it's a good way. In fact, it's kind of rude, and it might put off women who might otherwise be inclined to sleep with a guy on the first date.There's the direct approach, and there's the "grab her by the the back of the head and rub her face in it" approach. It may actually succeed with women who have a very poor self-image, or who may be mentally unstable.Some people are looking for a relationship. websexinfo is playing a chess game.
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Totally agree. With both you and CBW..
I would take that as a sexual comment. And if not, hmm, more of a passive aggressive move. TOTALLY depends on how you play that card I guess.
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I must have had a little editing error. I meant to say:In reply to:If getting a woman to jump into bed with you as quickly as possible is your objective, then it's a way to filter out the women who aren't interested. If you're trying to start a real relationship, then I'm not sure that it's a good way. In fact, it's kind of rude, and it might even put off women who might otherwise be inclined to sleep with a guy on the first date.It would be a rather sexually agressive comment. But sometimes guys get away with it, which encourages them to keep doing it. It's the Bart Simpson syndrome.Men are the oppisite of cats: once a cat does something that results in a bad experience, he'll never do it again. Once a man does something that results in reward, he'll never stop doing it.
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It's just an example to build on. You can easily pull off that line with the right smirk, and since you asked a question at the end it gives her a chance to investigate what you mean. The plan isn't to get her into bed on the first date. The plan is to establish oneself as a prospect and more than a friend.On a personal level, I generally don't like girls who are willing to give it up on the first date. Nor the second date. Unless it was all day long dates then maybe. But, there's a certain amount of class I look for in the women I'm looking to have a relationship with.
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I've never encountered anyone more calculating and manipulative, outside of the Bush administration. A sucessful career in politics awaits you, should you choose to pursue it.On the other hand, game-playing seems to be hard-wired into our brains, so unless you look like Brad Pitt, you'll have to do some of it. If fact, even if you look like him, you'll still have to.
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In reply to:
Some people are looking for a relationship. websexinfo is playing a chess game.
lol. I am talking about setting yourself up for a relationship, not just some one night stand.
I haven't just helped myself, I've helped my friends with their shortcomings as well. For example, a few weeks ago my friend was trying to date this girl and he pretty much blew it, like he usually does. Honestly, a really nice guy. It's just that he was being over accommadating. After two days of knowing him, she told me, "yeah, I pretty much know everything there is to know about him now." Soon after, she lost interest. He got over it quickly, and on the next girl he liked, my buddy and I helped him resist his regular temptations the average nice guy does. They're together now, and it hit him.
"all this time I've been ... (he names off all the over zealous attempts and romantic ploys he's done in the past) ... and all I really needed to do was keep to myself a little more than I was."
We figured out what he was doing wrong and helped him resist from doing it again. And believe me, he did try to do it again, but every time he'd pick up his phone or try to message her on the internet we'd have to yell at him. He's was being way too paranoid about the whole thing. "Should I call her? If I don't call her will she think I'm no longer interested? I think I should call her. Or if not call her then I'll message her." We were like, dude! Calm down!
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I think the key is to be "cocky and funny".It is kinda like pushing the boundrys in a relationship by using humor in an arrogant way without acctually being arogant but joking instead, women seem to respond well to people who they deem cheeky.What websexinfo has posted i think covers a lot of the basic concepts of game playing and being a player to an extent of offering advice and a tried and tested attitudes without being too deep.Ultimately everyone is different and i think that women may put up a front but when it comes down to it they enjoy sex as much as a man does and sexual innuendo is a great way to get a woman thinking of sex and make clear ur intentions. At the end of the day, if a girl isnt up for a bit of fun, even if its just chat, surely shes too boring to be worth the time.
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In reply to: At the end of the day, if a girl isnt up for a bit of fun, even if its just chat, surely shes too boring to be worth the time. Well, I don't quite look at it like that. At the end of the day, if you've followed the general rules of conduct and understand the principle of what I'm getting at, if she just wants to chat over a cup of coffee at the end of the day, then that's just fine. The point is to establish oneself as a relationship prospect (dating ladder) early in the game. Because, in a funny (not literal) way, "women like to date strangers".