Abnormal grief reaction

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I'm not quite sure where to post this, it would probably nearest match the depression forum, but it is not a depressive illness. I've been meaning to post about this for a while:

I was diagnosed with this disorder (Abnormal grief reaction) over five years ago, but chose to ignore it rather than seek treatment. As soon as I was diagnosed I just closed the door on it, as treatment would have involved going places, mentally and emotionally, I was just unprepared to go.

I don't see that ignoring this has been a huge mistake on my part (though I wouldnt advise anyone to do the same) as I see the symptoms of this disorder lessening significantly year on year. At this point they are vastly reduced, almost gone as compared to when they begun, over six years ago now.

I am just wondering, because I have never discussed this with anyone, does anybody else here have any experience, personal or otherwise, of this disorder?

I've never heard of this disorder, and I don't recall seeing it in the DSM-IV.Tell me more?

That is true. The terminology is used more in a legal or popular context for a type of adjustment disorder.

I'd never heard of it myself until I was diagnosed with it Damien, but by that stage I was thankful to know that what was going on with me actually had a name and that I wasn’t simply going crazy! I've had a comment from somebody on another thread indicating that I am 'emotionally volatile', I can only assume that that is in connection with this disorder, but volatility, emotional or otherwise, actually forms no part of the symptoms of this disorder, at least not in my experience of it.As the professional who diagnosed me explained it to me, 'Abnormal Grief Reaction' is a medical term used in the area of psychiatric heath to describe a pattern of thoughts in bereavement which are so far outside the norm as to be considered abnormal; hence the name. It is usually triggered by the violent or otherwise unnatural death of a loved one, but also sometimes occurs in an elderly husband or wife upon the loss of a lifelong partner. The symptoms are likened to those of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and involve recurring unbidden thoughts of the deceased and the manner and event of death, suicide in this case.She said that what is actually happening is that the bereaved person has become stuck in the grieving process and is unable to negotiate their way through the natural stages of disbelief, denial, shock, mourning and finally acceptance. In someone with this disorder, they have become psychologically ‘stuck’ somewhere before the stage of acceptance.The symptoms themselves are actually often nothing like what you'd expect to feel in grief; simple but very acute loss of concentration was a big one for me. I would often be having a discussion with someone who might, lets say, be wearing a particular item of clothing that would have reminded me of something my best friend (the person whose death threw me into that mess) used to own and at that point the conversation would go out the window and I'd become lost in thoughts that had no relevance to the time or place. I couldn’t count the times, especially in the first year or two, that people had to draw me back to the moment by saying things like "are you ok?.. are you listening to me"? etc The symptoms of this disorder don’t reduce you to a gibbering wreak, they can simply become so acute as to make your life unmanageable. I mean, what would you think of someone who was unable to hold a simple conversation without ‘zoning out’ as it were? That used to happen to me numerous times a day, regardless what company I was in.

Is this something like, a person laughing in a situation when they 'should' be crying? What is the treatment for something like this?

Not really honey, it certainly never affected me that way, though I can’t speak for anybody else. It is a weird disorder that actually dictates your behaviour; I can honestly say the functioning of my mind changed the moment I got the phone call and got a lot worse before it got better. For example, I used to jog every morning before going home to get the child up and out for school but that all stopped in a moment because I could no longer stand the sight of trees. Not that I have any beef with trees, ha ha, I love them in fact. I used to find jogging in the park such a claming way to start the day, but from the moment I heard that my best friend had hung herself in the woods I couldn’t look at a tree without looking for its lowest hanging branch and I'd always think 'if that had been the tree, that would have been the branch'. These are the sort of morbid thoughts that assail you when this disorder is raging full steam in your head. So this is what I mean when I say it actually dictates your behaviour, because a jog in the park turned from a pleasant thing into something of a psychological assault course, which it’s no surprise that anyone would want to avoid.As for treatment, it is supposed to be tackled with a two-pronged approach. Anti depressants are administered in double or even triple doses (double in my case) as PTSD is sometimes treated, also you're supposed to undergo bereavement therapy regularly and for a prolonged period of time. I took the anti-d's, but it was the bereavement therapy I couldn’t deal with, so I simply didn’t. I only went for bereavement therapy this year, six years after the fact, that was how long it took me to be able to talk about it. I went for group therapy, which I found very beneficial. I think group therapy would be beneficial in a lot of cases rather than one to one to be honest, and not just for this particular disorder. There is just a very healing element to discussing these things in the company of others who have been through very similar experiences I think. I just thought I’d post about this anyway, because I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere, and because I thought I was going mad at the time, so it may just be of some benefit to somebody who is going through the same.

That's interesting.I know there is a new version of the DSM coming soon. Maybe it'll be in that one.(Not that I would give two hoots and a holler for the damned DSM anyway!)How is this treated? Like a depression? Meds?

LOL damien, you must be REALLY busy these days.She said it is normally treated with meds and therapy...though it took her a long time to go through the therapy part..

She said: "As for treatment, it is supposed to be tackled with a two-pronged approach. Anti depressants are administered in double or even triple doses...as PTSD is sometimes treated, also you're supposed to undergo bereavement therapy regularly and for a prolonged period of time."

Well now I've told you what abnormal greif reaction is could you return the favour by telling me what the DSM is? Lol, is it a directory of medical terms or something that? And do you have a medical background yourself? Just curious here.If AGF isnt a term in world-wide use I'm sure there have to be other terms for it, because this is not something you could suffer from and not realise something was going on with you. Though I suppose of course, as with any illness or disorder, it would have to present itself in differing degrees in different people. I'm very glad to say though that I am over the worst and have been for some time. It's a nightmare of a condition I have to say; not something I'd wish on anybody.

Thank you Radeckl; it would be interesting to have a look through that and see what other disorders listed involve responses to grief. Perhaps it's not the only one, and maybe AGR is recognised under other names.

The DSM is basically a guide for diagnosing mental disorders. It codes everything from ADHD to depression to social phobias to major personality. It also guides practitioners in determining diagnosing.

I do not have a medical background, but I am in the mental health field. A Therapist to be exact. Unfortunately, most mental health treatment in our society is based on billing. And billing is based on the DSM. That sucks. You get a kid who's had crap for parents and is pulled out of his home, and maybe (okay, probably) he has some behavioral problems as a result, he ends up in the child welfare system (which is not such a bad thing), but in order to be placed he has to get labelled with a diagnosis from the damned DSM. And typically he will be prescribed and forced to take psychotropic meds, when what he really needs is structure, an understanding of consequences, and help navigating through an adult world that appears to give a rat's ass.

Yeah, I got opinions on this.

Do you mean to say that in order to be placed in state care he/she has got to be diagnosed with a behavioural disorder? Maybe I've misunderstood you, but if I haven’t that seems pretty bizarre to me. Surely the behavioural problems of the parents are more at issue in determining the need for state intervention for the kids?Three of my mothers five kids, including myself, did their time in state care and the issue wasn’t any behavioural problems on our part, but the mental illnesses (schizophrenia & bipolar disorder) of our parents.

It's not so much a matter of being placed in state's care as much as it is having services paid for. Any kid in state's care has their services (whether that's a therapist or a group home payment) paid for by medicaire, which is government money. And medicaire won't pay for most services through any mental health agency unless there is an Axis I diagnosis. It's not just the kids I see who are in foster care, it's even kids who live at home who attend a summer program through local community mental health. They have to have a diagnosis. So we label them ADHD or ODD or Bi-polar when they are really none of those things.

So 'vulnerable' and 'disadvantaged' don’t count? What a shitty and inadequate system.. Don’t get me wrong; ours is just as bad.

There are over 45 million U.S. citizens who have no health insurance at all. Many of them are children. If you're extremely poor, retired, or are a military veteran, you can get "socialized" health care. If you just don't make much money, though, you're out of luck. In that case, if you have to pay for expensive care (whether your illness is physical or mental), you spend your assets, and then you can qualify for government assistance, once you're bankrupt. In fact, a very high percentages of bankruptcies in the U.S. (if not the majority) are caused by just that.The U.S. is the only industrialized nation in that boat. Most non-military, non-retired, non-indigent citizens have no safety net.