I so badly want to be a happy person but life is just out to fuck me. anytime anything good happens to me ten fold bad stuff happens. I just want someone to care about me or even help me out. Everyplace I turn family just turn there backs on me friends don't give a shit hell even sucide help lines don't really care since I really don't want to kill my self. I don't know how much longer I can fight not doing it though it seems the only option out anymore.
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Can't take it much longer
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Well my experience with that is sometimes to stop "wanting" to be a happy person or "wanting" to have people care about you since that just causes pain anyway... the "wanting" issue isn't all that hard but the "caring" issue is the hard part..
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this works for me when i feel the world's against me... take it to you advantage! make it make you stronger... learn to cope with it and not have to rely and anybody to survive! i dunno if that goes for everybody but thats what i do... i dunno if you even care i just want you to know there are ways to cope with shit like that
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Is there a counsellor you can talk to face-to-face? I think you need an outside perspective on whether the problem is a bad environment or depression (which makes normal environments look bad). Depression can be treated, and bad environments can (eventually) be escaped from.
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Finaly I found a place to live so I am a bit happier seems like maybe I have some hope again even if I just have a couch to sleep on its something main thing is my friend cared enough to let me stay with him now maybe I can finaly finish up highschool and start a future
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I'm very glad to hear things are looking better.
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hope everything works out for you!