Well, here's my problem.. Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years, we're pretty happy for the most part together... But, she is having a problem, that she is afraid to grow up, i'm 19, and she's 17. We really do want to spend our life together, but we aren't trying to rush anything, like marriage kids ect, we're very willing to wait.But... she is afraid to grow up, she keeps getting little crushes on old crushes.. Nothing serious or anything, just guys she used to have a crush on, when they come back into her life.. but she is just selfish and childish about certain things and she knows it too... she does love me and want to spend her life with me.. fuck i dont know what to say to what i'm getting at..I guess, does anyone just have any advise on how to help her grow up some? Or any advise for me, you can post here, or i've got AIM of anyone wants to talk to me there... It'sShadowbeforelife
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Why do relationships have to be so complicaited..
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honey i dont wana b the one to point this out but i dont wana leav u hanging.u really cant make her grow up. she may b just fine the way things r n is in no hurry to grow up. n thats ok..for her.if it becomes a bigger problem mayb time apart is the go.i spent 14months with someone a year an a half younger then me.my first real relationship.and as my mum put it "hes ur first boyfriend,not the only one ul have" he was a great guy n we did hav various problems but the one big thing that i can actually pinpoint is that he was immature - partly because of his age n a history of add.i spent so much time waiting for him to grow up,we eventually broke up for various reasons n i realised that he wasnt in any rush to grow up.he was happy just how things wer. i was finishing skol n thinkn about my future,he was a year below me n was happy just floating along. u cant just push someone into growing up. they have to do it in their own time. this is the part that hurts - i was letting him hold me bak n it wasnt gettn me anywer. as much as i loved him we just wernt on the same page.
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nah nah, i don't mean she's immature or anything like that... well at least she's not personality wise... i meant she doesn't want to grow up into the real world.. or is that what you meant to?
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Well...she is 17...and probably starting college soon right? College students are the most immature people in the world. If she's the same at 21 then you have real problems.
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both.not so much that he didnt wana grow up just that he ahandt evn thought about it. hes only turning 18 next month n hes stil the same n i left him a year ago.
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sigh Yeah, i'm in a stupid situation again. Pretty much her immaturity lies in that she keeps getting crushes on old memories, and to the point she would be afraid she would cheat on me... I have gotten over getting jealous about her thinking guys are so much hotter ect, but it hurts so bad knowing that she keeps getting little crushes.. when i'm right here
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Anyone?
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Guess not..
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You're going to have to talk to her about this and be open, tell her that you feel uncomfortable about her crushes. All you can do is up the communication and hope it helps.
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Maturity comes with experince. My friend is in a similar position to you and is growing up faster than his g/f since he is older and has experinced more. The only way to help her grow up saddly is time. About the crushes though tell her how you feel about it, but not as the jealous b/f since that can be a real turn off. Sorry I couldn't have helped more.