I'm 27 (maybe old enough to not be this confused), and i've always worried about the future, and my life...
My life isn't that bad (compared to some) but isn't that great either... And i really don't know what i what from life. I have a gf, were thinking of moving in together. I love her, but i'm also afraid that in the future i'm unable to make her happy and therefore, not be happy also. I also don't what any kids, the world is not a good place to live in it... I don't want any one else to go through all i've been....
Yes, i have suicidal tendencies. And to be honest, I go to sleep everynight thinking 2 things: 1) I don't want to wake up. 2) If I wake up. i want to make her happy for another day.
It's like some songs say: "forever young", "who wants to live forever",...
Somtimes i just want to, fill the car up, go somewhere alone, have a bottle of vodka, keep the car running.. you know the drill... and fall a sleep for ever.
To tell you the truth, i also don't know what king of answers to expect, if there are any :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: i just know sometimes it helps to open up... Maybe that's what i'm expecting...
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THe future...
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Well, we all worry about the future to some degree. Good things WILL happen and so will bad things. But for any of us, the only moment you have is now. Make your girlfriend happy NOW. Then tomorrow, when it is that "now" make her happy.
Also work on finding your happy. It is a really tough thing sometimes, but in every bad there is a good. Try to focus on that. I don't think that there is a soul here who will tell you that it is always easy, but I am sure that there are alot who agree...The future is now, at least it was just a moment ago, and your fine right? I am sure you have good memories, make some more of those.
Do you have professional help for your suicidal tendencies? It can help, and you might not worry so much if you can find the right help. Because killing yourself won't make her future happy, and make your future non existant, except in the form of painful memories for the ones who love you.
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You're not alone. A lot of people feel the same way you do. I'm 25 and I'm contanstly worrying about my future and how my life will turn out. I'm currently reading the book, quarter life crisis and twenty something: twenty everything. :grin: